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How to be a Scottish Mum

Looking at how people find my blog today in the statistics package, I was struck by how many people find it by asking the words “how to be a scottish mum.”

I’m not really sure how to take that.   Then I had to think about what makes a scottish mum different from say, an english mum, or an irish mum, or an american mum etc etc.  I could not think of anything, and then it got to me thinking about how some people must portray us as the scottish stereotype.

Would we be pictured in some peoples’ heads as wild and wiry, long haired, tartan wearing lovelies, such as the Christoper Lamberts onscreen wife in Higlander 1?   Are we seen as knife wielding, redhaired, freckled wild women who fight for their families ala Liam Neesons onscreen wife in Rob Roy?

The truth is quite mundane these days.  There are very few tartan wearing women, and even fewer who live in the wilds, in their little mud huts unwashed and jigging around swords with their tartan sashes and fighting for their families and lands.  That is the stuff of history and fiction, rather like the American Wild West.

Yes, there are some communities which are living in the more traditional type houses, and a few even still living without running water and electricity, but these are very few and far between.

I can tell you about some scottish women in the recent past and what motherhood meant to them, but it might take a whole book to tell that story, and one day very soon, that is what I am going to do.

In the short version, my family came from Skateraw, around Newtonhill in the North East of Scotland.  Life was hard.  The menfolk were fishermen and the women had to be hardy.

The cold winters were the hardest.  The women might have several of the family menfolk in the same house, all working at sea in the fishing industry.  It was a very steep hill down to the pier where the boats set to sea.  The womenfolk always went down to meet the boats, and carried the fish up the hill on their creels.

The next day, they would leave early, before light, and walk to Aberdeen with their creels on their backs, and sold as much fish at the market stalls as they could.  Every day, they would make that walk until all the fish was sold, a round trip of more than 10 miles every day.  Their families were well fed, as there was always fish to eat as long as a family had men at sea.

Inbetween walking to Aberdeen and back, these women had to provide food for their families, and wash the sea salt loaded clothes, which would take much  more water than they could carry in one or two trips to the communal taps.  The clothes had to be ready at short notice for their mens sea chests.

Sadly, many young children died, as when the mums  and grandmothers had to work, there was no-one to look after the children, and often young children succumbed to fatal accidents.  Many fell into the house fires where the supper was cooking, or down the cliffs into the sea.  It was a tough existence, and many a fishermans wife had a broken heart for the tragic loss of her “wee ones.”

When the boats were ready to be loaded out again, the womenfolk had to pick up their men and carry them to their boats, to ensure that they managed to get aboard with dry feet.   Imagine the dainty womenfolk of today managing to carry their six foot husbands out to a boat in freezing water, yet these women did it.

 

Once their men took off to sea again, the women then began the chores of fixing the nets, a thankless task that was both difficult, and caused many a raw blister.

This was only 120 years ago when my great grandmother was young.   The speed we  have moved forward in since that time is incredible, and todays fishing industry, and the expecations and duties of scottish mothers has been transformed.    Back then, a toonser woman would not have wanted to marry into a fishermans family.  They might have been well fed, but they sure had to work hard.

So how can someone be a scottish mum?

I don’t have the answer to that.  I am a scottish mum, but have no idea that the difference might be.  Perhaps we cook some slightly different foods, perhaps we have a funny accent.

Maybe there is something that differentiates us, but I don’t know what it is.

If someone has any suggestions, then I’d be happy to listen to them, and now, finally, when someone finds my blog in the search for how to be a scottish mum, they will actually find a post related to what they are looking for.

 

 

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Songbirds in our Garden

If there is one thing that has held my kids attention for long spells of time, it has been the bird feeders that we have had in our garden for the last 5 years.  My youngest has always loved birds and nature, and he decided one year to spend his birthday money on buying feeders and seeds for the birds.  It grew and there is now a chair beside the window that looks onto the part of the garden that oversees where the feeders are kept outside.

We have watched, robin red breasts, starlings, blackbirds, blue tits, coal tits, a magpie or two, and starlings and sparrows galore come to our garden, sit on the fence, and eat themselves full from our feeders.  There are lots of birds we have seen, that we can’t even identify, even though we keep a book at hand to see what they are. 

There have been a few squirrels cheekily opening up the top of the fat ball feeder to scoop them out, and more than one or two mice who climbed up the fence to have a feed.

The bird familes, we have watched as they grow, become mature, and venture out on their own, leaving their parents behind.  It’s lovely in summer to see the the pairings of our regular birds for the nesting season, and the sudden increase in demand on the food, as the parents fly back and forth endlessly, taking a little at a time to feed their hungry young. 

There have been hours spent looking out of the window and just watching the birds.  The kids loved watching the blackbirds sunbathing in the garden when the sun was out.    They enjoyed the feeling of keeping them alive during the winter months, by making sure there was plenty food out every day in the snow and cold. 

This winter has been different, and I am surprised at how I feel about it.    Our birds were coming to feed as usual, right through the horrible November snows and extreme cold that we had, and they managed to pull through December.  

Sadly, since around New Year, we seem to have lost ALL our birds.  There are a few of the larger woodpigeons in the bigger trees out the back, buy there is no sign of any of our blackbirds, the robin has disappeared, and all the small birds have vanished.  The gardens seems like a morgue considering all the activity there has been there for the last 5 years and I am strangely upset by that.

I find myself in the mornings, taking a cup of coffee through, and sitting down to watch, hoping and willing for some of them to reappear, or new ones to find our garden and have some food to help them through the winter.   Up until last year, we had a robin red breast who had been coming to us for three years.  He knew us and the kids, and would happily sit on the fence while I filled the feeder.  He didn’t make it back this year, and that made me a little sad, but a new one arrived in the early spring to take his place. 

I missed that little robin, and the new young one was not so keen to be domesticated.   I missed him, but that was fine as he had three years, and seemed to be a happy, chirpy chappie.   That’s nothing to the disappointment I seem to be feeling that ALL our birds have gone this year.  ALL of them have succumbed to the awful temperatures that we have had recently, both young and old. 

It does make me sad that our small birds, and our songbirds in particular are not going to weather this winter very well, but nature will take over, and hopefully our garden will be a hive of feathered friends soon.  

In the meantime, the kids and I will spend a little while of each day still looking wistfully and putting out a fresh bowl of water, just in case any of ours return.

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Overweight Children – Whose Fault ??

I switched on the TV tonight, and the programme that I stopped at was the Half Ton Teen on Living Channel.  The mum states her child is her reason for living, but she is the one going to the supermaket and buying all the hugely fatty foods that her son is eating.    The doctor thinks that the teen is eating 30,000 calories a day to keep him like that.

The biggest problems he has are his mother and father.  The programme calls his mother the “enabler”.  I find it distressing to watch his parents asking him if he was going to “do it” this time (lose the weight and have surgery).    She is the one buying all the junk he is eating, and I felt like flinging the skin of the tangerine I was peeling through the TV at her.

I see this on a much smaller scale at home as well.  There are children locally who are struggling with their weight.  I feel so sorry for them on a day to day basis, as most children (and adults) want to be part of the group, and accepted, and weight can be a factor that excludes children from the “in” groups.  

Most overweight children are at the mercy of their parents food and lifestyle choices, and I do feel sorry for them.   I have been lucky in that I have three children, of who two are very thin, and one is average for his age.  All my children are able to eat a lot of food without becoming obese, and for that I am thankful. 

I also have my children do a lot of exercise as I don’t want them to spend their lives as I have, constantly fighting to either get to, or keep my weight at a normal level.    With the computer society, and parents keeping children inside when they can’t be there to watch them, it is difficult to find the right balance.  

I do also think tendancy to put weight on has a bit to do with our genes, and our state of mind at any one time, and that it is difficult to put the blame decisively on any one person or place unless we know the circumstances.  I am not exactly stick thin myself, but when I see an overweight parent of an obese child filling up a grocery trolley with chocolate and stodge, I feel so sad for the children.

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Scottish Mum & New Year Goals for 2011

Image: Salvatore Vuono / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve deliberately left the decisions around my goals for this year until after the 1st of January.    I had thought about them beforehand, but I decided against making a choice based on how we all feel before the new year happens. 

Usually, resolutions depend on the mythical new found power that a new year or decade comes with to carry us through.

Back to the real world.  It is now the 3rd of January and all these things that were difficult from 2010 are still there.

  1. We still have all the same bills to pay
  2. We still have the same issues around schooling
  3. We still don’t have the childcare we need
  4. I still have the same amount of housework and laundry to do for 6 people

Now that I have the flowery richeousness that comes with making new years resolutions out of the way, I am looking at what I can realistcally achieve this year, and how to do it.

  1. I have a target of April to finish one novel in the pipeline, and August to finish the other.   In the end, they may both be rubbish, but I do aim to finish them completely, including rewriting, and rewriting, and rewriting.  It is achievable as one has a completed first draft.
  2. I will find an appropriate school for one of my children.
  3. I will try my hardest to not buy shop bread – ever, but I accept that there are times when I must.
  4. I aim to lose some weight this year, and with the support of my twitter friends, I may just do that (again).
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Cybermummy 2011 Here I Come

My first post of the New Year and hold onto your hats, because I am going to the conference.  Oh yes I am.  I’ve booked my early bird ticket and I am going to be on my way.    I am looking forward to going, and my biggest worry at the moment is knowing which hotel to book into.  

Online mummy bloggers are emerging into a large force in the market place, and many brands are beginning to recognise how wide our wings spread and work with the mummy bloggers.

I am funding the event personally as a writer.  I would also be happy for a sponsor who would like to be represented on the day to get in touch with me.  An Aberdeen based local sponsor would be ideal, but not limited to, and it would be a chance to get your brand out to the mummy bloggers.  If you want to talk about sponsorship, send me an email on scottishmum@gmail.com.

I am really excited at the prospect of going, and being part of the fabulous group of bloggers that I am fast becoming attached to.  I look forward to meeting them all.

xx

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“Flooer wi a Wish” New Year Doric Poem for all my friends with the English Translation

Fir a oor freens fae ower e warld               (For all our friends, all over the world)

Fir abody wi ken                                                         (For everyone we know)
Ah’m wishin ye a gran new year                (I’m wishing you all a great New Year)
Oor freens are a wi hiv                                             (Our friends are all we have)

Lets nae tak ony crabbit fash                       (Lets not take any bad tempered worries)
Tae come ower us a nixt year                               (To come with us for next year)
Sae shak oor hauns wi pride                                   (So shake our hands with pride)
An forgie wi bleeting heart                                  (And forgive with a talkative heart)

Hud yer wheest, an quaitely prov                    (Stay quiet, and quietly prove)
We a agree tae brig e past                               (We all agree to bridge over the past)
Fir e need tae hae freens new an auld       (For the need to have friends new and old)
Is wi us a fae birth tae dree us a                  (Is with us from birth for us all to endure)

Sae here’s a flooer, wi a wiss                                (So here’s a flower, with a wish)
Fae me tae yous the day                                           (From me to you all today)
Nae matter far wi kep or r gaun                        (No matter where we met, or go)
Is grand tae hae ye near.                                          (Is good to have you close)

A birsle tae ane an a                                                      (A toast to one and all)

Image: luigi diamanti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Coffee Capers

Image: Paul / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Read what it says on the tin. 

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a tin of coffee from Costco for a Saturday Club that we do.  Bear in mind, that the other lady who also buys things had bought a tin of coffee for the October party, which should have covered it, but when it was opened, we discovered was actually fine ground coffee for a percolator although it doesn’t say that on the outside.    Now that’s all very well if you have a coffee machine, or you are happy with floating coffee granules in your cup. 

At the club, we have to take large flasks of hot water so that’s not an option.   So, she bought some temporary small jars to tide us over. 

Cue shopping for the Christmas party (which was cancelled due to snow, but thats another story).    I take all the food for the Christmas party home.  I had checked the tin to make sure I didn’t buy the same coffee, and I settled on dark roast, find grind (you can see it coming, can’t you).

My mother arrived at my house later that day with another tin of the coffee because she thought that was a good buy at Costco.  She never keeps receipts, and I lost the Christmas one in all the madness getting stuff home.

It is a week before we are out of instant coffee and break out the big tin for the house.  Yup, you guessed it, coffee grinds, and now we have two huge tins of this at home, and my friend has a tin at her house.

Cue post Christmas sales, and we have had to admit defeat, and now buy a coffee machine for the house.  So that has cost us another £20 to buy one that matches the kitchen, and we probably have enough coffee to last us for about 10 years.   

We still need to buy more coffee for the club.    Third time lucky !!

Do I feel silly ??????

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“A Braw New Year” Doric Hogmanay Poem

Wir waitin fir the end o the month
Fir oan the thirtae first its a oer
An a new year wi us a cheerin n kissin
As we a ring em bells, an kiss baith loons an quines rosy chiks
Haudin up twa strings ae misseltow, ower fa ye like
Ye a ken fit a mean, wi a did it fan we wir young

An we smile fan we see, a first fit wi his coal
He his tae be dark o hair, an tall as kin be
Coal fir oor fire, a symbol fae the past
Heat tae survive, a braw gift
Noo will be biscuits, or mebbee a dram
A wishin us weel, fir a new year on its wye
Tae the lute o the piper, or the drum

The bells ding, oor clock strikes the midnight oor
Some ring em in, wi a song fae oor past
Maist linkin airms, an singing oot loud
Fir thae auld pals, they’ll nivver forget
Sung the world oer, a hoosehold chant
An a toast o the year tae come, we a hud oot hope
Fir a Happy New Year, tae ane an a

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Spam Comments – Spammers Go Away

Spam Comments HereImage: healingdream / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is just a general post, and I am writing it more to ease my irritation at having to daily delete more and more comments that are not really comments.   All of you who have blogs will know what I mean.  I signed into admin today with lots of comments to trawl though, and it seems the spammers have found me in force. 

There are a few different kinds that seem to find their way into my comments approval box.  They usually fall under the following headings, and these are all things I do NOT want to see in my approval box.

  1. Weight Loss websites.
  2. Foreign Shopping Sites.
  3. Websites for over 18’s.
  4. Pharmaceutical / Drugs websites.
  5. Online Dating websites.
  6. Online Gambling websites.

Would all of the above please just go away, because I am NOT going to approve your comment

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“Shhhhh fir Santa” Christmas Doric Poem

It’ll seen be time fir christmas
Time fir abody tae say
Hud yer weesht, it’s gettin late
Shut them peepers at end o the day

But, seen as yer ma’s heids hits e hay
Ye teeter oot o yer covers an mair
Yer lugs wirk sae hard, they shiver
An hush as ye go, near tae at door

Creepin doon yon steps fair sleekit
Teetin roun an roun, yer een openin wi frite
Shhhhhh em bells tinkle an jinngle
Ye look thru windae panes, an clap yer haun tae yer muth

A sleigh skiffs by, unner yer nose
Wi a flash fae rudolph, winkin is een
Shh lik a moose, scurry an shimmer
Up tae yer bed, afore santa slips doon yer lum

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“Snow” Christmas Doric Poem

Wi thon muckle flurries, ah watch oot ma windae
Yon white draps, wi wee crystals aboot em
An ah dream o yon year, fan ah wis a quine
A lass wi a bin liner, slidin doon nigg bay slopes

We’d nowt on oor hauns, and sookit feet
The caul nivver entered intae oor heids
Thinkin back now, ah canna believe it
Ah feel the caul, jist thinkin aboot it

Ah’m stannin back, an love far ah am
Ahin me, is a fire, glowin n burnin
An the morra winna stap me, ah’m gaun oot wi the bairns
Fir an efterneen o sledgin, trussed up lik a chook

Ah’ll hae ma gloves, an ma hat oan ma heid
An them leggins wi paddin, thit keep oot the weet
Dinna forget thon bitts, wi paddin an fleecin
As ah’ll skite doon at mound, laffin and jokin

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Finding New Blogs

I am looking for some great new blogs to read. I love reading, and blogs always give me a reason to connect to other people and escape in the same way that a good novel takes me out of my life and into pleasant escapism.

I’m not an avid, daily blogger, but at times I may actually blog more than others. I don’t covet huge statistics from readers either, but it would be nice to have some readers for my rantings. Strangely enough, some people seem to find my blog on google using words that I would never connect to anything I have written.

I sometimes find it difficult to find blogs that I might be interested in. It is easy if someone has already visited my blog for me to return the favour.

Let me know on scottishmum@gmail.com if you would like me to read your blog, or leave a comment for me so that I know where to find you.