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Housework Hatred

  Image: koratmember / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Now I have to be honest with this post.  I started thinking about it today, as it is the never ending cycle of domestic purgatory that exists in my world.   Dirty dishes, laundry, hoovering, floor washing, bedding to be stripped and remade, dusting, animal walking, and lots, lots more.  

And none of that includes the never ending cycle of kids bedrooms, perma toys all over the place, homework, night routines, la la la la la

I really really detest housework (WITH A PASSION).   Did you get that, or do I have to repeat it. 

I REALLY REALLY DETEST HOUSEWORK (WITH A HUMUNGOUS GINORMOUS, PASSION)

With that in mind, I decided to try and work out which of those chores are my most dreaded.    What brought on this post of major grumpiness, I hear you wonder.  Well, if you really must know, the sun is shining.  It’s a nice afternoon, and with the sun streaming in through the windows, it should put me into a good mood – right. 

Did I tell you that my house has 27 windows, 28 if you include the garage.    I stopped smiling at the sun coming out a long time ago.  Why on earth we bought a house with so much wall space as windows is anyone’s guess.   Well, it did look pretty, on a dull winters day when we first bought it.    I had no idea, that I would be letting  myself in for window torture.

I don’t think this picture gives you the best indication of what happens when the sun shines on all these horrendous pieces of clear glass.  At best it looks manky, at worst, it looks positively slovenly.  Oh, yes, and we do have three rooms that have glass panels as well.  It just never ends. 

If anyone has a tried and tested method of keeping windows streak and grime free, I am all ears.  I’ve heard of stuff you can put on the windows, but I don’t know what it is, or how good it is. 

I’d love to know what everyone else’s pet hates housework wise are.  Leave a comment, or twitter on @scottish_mum

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Fill In The Blanks !!!!! Meme

I have been tagged by @jontybabe AND @helloitsgemma on twitter.    They are getting me back for tagging them last week (only kidding).

Fill in the blanks is as it sounds.  A list of words that I have to fill in the blanks of.

I am… 
Trying to be the best mum that I can be.  I know I am not perfect.  I know my kids actually wish me out of the way at times, and I know that sometimes I get things wrong.   It doesn’t stop me trying though, and maybe, one day, my kids will understand that there are rules for their own good.

The bravest thing I’ve ever done…
I’m not very brave.  I will challenge things that I don’t think are right, but I am not a gung ho type of person, not any more.  The kids took care of that.    In fact, bringing 3 children into my life was probably my bravest feat.

I feel prettiest…
Now this is predictable and corny for me.  Easy – I feel prettiest when  I am thin, and on the day I get my hair coloured.   At the moment, the first is out of the equation, but the second was done last week, so I’m still feeling slightly confident.

Something that keeps me awake at night…
Education struggles for one of my children and my childrens special needs sometimes does keep me awake for hours at a time.

My favourite meal is…
I don’t particularly have a favourite meal.  I have a love/hate relationship with food, but if pushed, it would swing from (proper) stovies with baked beans, milk and oatcakes, to chicken risotto.

The way to my heart is…
Through my children.  Treat them well, and my heart goes out to you.

I would like to be…
A fly on the wall in the education and council departments as they make swathing cuts to childrens services.

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This is me.

Sticky Fingers has challenged us to add a picture that our children have drawn of us.   She is compiling them in a linky gallery.

In Tara’s words:
It’s so so easy.
Ask your child – their age doesn’t matter – to draw a picture of you.
Post it on your blog.
Pass it on to your friends/enemies if you want to.
(If you don’t have a fancy pants scanner, take a photo of it and post it that way!)

Then when you’ve done, go to Taras Post here and add yours to the Linky so we can all laugh. 

    THIS IS ME, by middlie

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5 Things That Make You Feel Good.

With all the juggling that we do on a daily basis, it seems to me to be a good thing to celebrate our womanhood, and what we like to do as women.   Not as employees, girlfriends, wives, mothers, daughters, or friends.   As I have been focussing on the negative aspects of my body and life recently, I wanted to move to the things about me that make me feel good.

I have seen lots of posts about what we struggle with, or things that we like to do, and I’d like to find out a bit more information about all of you. 

This is my way of doing it.     I am looking forward to visiting some of you on the blog hop.

What you cannot choose.  The Rules are Simple
We all know that blogging / facebook, & or twitter  is in our arena of what we like to do, so I am going to rule them out as one of the 5 that you can post about.  They really are not very girly.    Likewise, phones, computers, ipads are all out of the running.

 I am challenging myself to this, as I am really not a girly girly type of person, and I want to find that within myself.   It’s not all about power suits, filofaxes, ipads and designer phones.

If you want to pass this along, pick bloggers that you want to find out more about, and challenge them to write up their 5 secret passions that make them feel good.  The idea is to lift our spirits this week.  The fact that there is a linky added, just makes it all the more worthwhile in doing.

Here goes.

1 – I actually, really love my hair.  I pretend that I don’t, as its thick, tends to frizz with curl when it is humid, and can be difficult to tame.   What it can do, well, almost anything really if I really set my mind to it.  I can wave it, curl it, frizz it, or straighten it.  I choose to straighten mine nowadays as I like it that way, but in the 80’s, I used to have it like a poodle perm.  It takes colour beautifully (when I get time to go to the hairdressers), and I do tend to change my hair colour by the year.  Last year I was brunette, this year I am sort of blondish.

2 – I have no bunions, corns or callouses on my feet.  Yay me.  I hated my mother when I was growing up as she made me wear sensible shoes until I was old enough to buy shoes for myself.   She used to wear gym shoes as she couldn’t afford to buy both me and her shoes, but I didn’t know that as a child.  I so love her now for it, especially as I have internal foot problems with nerve damage, and I am grateful that the outside of my feet were never damaged by badly fitting shoes. 

3 – I love my pink epilator.  I used to spend a fortune on waxing, then I spied an epilator in Costco a couple of years ago.  It cost me £40, but has saved me hundreds of pounds on waxing.

4 – Shoes.  I have always had a shoes passion.  Unfortunately I can’t wear  most of the lovely things that are out there these days, so my passion has shifted to fitflops.   I can handle that.    It nearly broke my heart to sell the lovely Prada boots I had in my cupboard and the pair of Manolos that I had treasured, but when a couple of pairs of new fitflop boots arrived, I quickly got over my angst. 

5 –  I love make up and smellies.  You probably wouldn’t think so as I don’t go overboard with mine these days, but I do.  So many things are now free of the nasty stuff, that they are nice to try out.   I love scented oils, candles, perfumes, mascaras.   You can’t ever have too much make up choice, and a nice scented candle always makes me smile. 

I am tagging some people from twitter today, but anyone can join in, and add an old post that covers the same topic.  Lets find out a little more about each other.

 This will initially go to:

@crystaljigsaw @nettiewriter @kateab @superamazingmum @melaina25 @tara_cain @flutterbyrosa @softthistle @mummylion
@theboyandme @mrs_moog @jontybabe @jencull @mid30slife

Add your link to a new or existing post.   Grab the code, enter it into the html of your own post to see the same list as everyone else. 

get the InLinkz code


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Appetite for Disaster – My Fight with Flab

Ok, here we go.   For me, weight is an issue.  

I am not one of those people you read about in papers or magazines who say that they are happy in their skin and that they are comfortable overweight.

At the moment, I have three stones to lose to feel comfortable and get into the lovely clothes in my wardrobe that have been squirreled away for the last four years. 

I have been up and down, I lost two stones last year in January and February, only to put one stone back on again over the year.    This time, I want to lose the three stone. 

I started on January 1st, but there have been many more family issues this year than last year, and I am a comfort eater.  When I am stressed, I eat, then feel guilty, then I eat some more.

I have bad feet, so that rules out jogging, or cycling when they are bad.  I also have a child at home who is not able to be put into a creche etc, so I can’t do my exercise of choice this year, which is swimming. 

What I do have, is all of you.  @livingwithkids on twitter started a weight loss journey with a group of women who are all wanting to lose weight, and although I have not answered this week (sorry Liz, if you end up reading this), I have had an awful week.  I am hoping to do better next week.

The one thing that I really would like in my quest to regain my old body, and that is an appetite retrain facility.  If one of those was available, I can imagine that the person who made it up would be a millionaire overnight.

I have an awful appetite.  It’s not hunger.  Unlike some people, I do know what hunger is as I used to starve in my 20’s.  Not that you would know it now.  I regularly used to go for 2 – 3 weeks on end eating nothing, and I mean nothing.   Perhaps the odd cup of coffee with milk in it, and a cup a soup or two.  And I worked 12 hour shifts when I was at University.   Not once did I ever pass out, or feel faint.

This appetite is the overriding feeling of the fact that you must put that thing into your mouth, chew, and then swallow it, despite all that your head is telling you.  I used to starve without any thought of hunger or appetite.  Even now, I rarely feel hunger, although I recognise when I am peckish.    I don’t need it, I certainly don’t want it, but yet I still pop it into my mouth.  I also find it difficult to look back on the girl who starved for years, and understand how I did it.

I often now, find myself pacing the floor to stop myself from eating.  The craving is so strong, that it is totally unreasonable.  I suspect it is a replacement for what I really need.  The only problem is, that I have not figured out what it is that I actually need.  My desire is to be thin, fit and healthy.  That’s when I feel good, yet I am the one that is doing so much to ensure that it doesn’t happen.

I am putting this out there, as a reminder to myself, that this is the year that I want to crack it properly.  I am resisting the urge to do a starvation session, and I am trying to do this sensibly.  It is taking longer to come off, and I am slipping back and forth with sticking to the diet.

I may need a kick up the derriere a few times this year to get back on the wagon, and the magical button to banish appetite is just not going to happen for me.   This years quest, is simply to be able to ignore it rumbling away in the background.

Maybe I should post a picture of me where I want to be, and have that looking at me every time I log in.  Hmm, that might just make me raid the biscuit tin……

Wish me luck.

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Bloggy Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 – Week 6!

This is my first go at this so bear with me until I get it sorted.  Doing blog hops has not been my speciality yet, and the only one I have tried, ended up with me just messing it up.  Here is hoping that I manage to get it right this time.

Okay – my reasons to be cheerful.

1 – I have a fantastic mother who does so much to help me, that I cannot even begin to describe how much she means to me as a mother.  She struggles with diabetes, thyroid disease, arthritis and has just passed her 5 year mark for breast cancer.  And yet, she still always thinks of me and my children first, and never complains.  I landed an angel.

2 – My relatively new circle of friends (1 year plus),  has brought me back into a fantastic life, that revolves outside of my own little home bubble.  They took me in, made me one of them, and now I would be lost without them.

3 – I found twitter and blogging.  While I am not Mrs Wonderful Blogger, I am loving it.  I have the opportunity to interact with other women like me.  I can meet and talk to people as and when I need support, a talking to, or just a bit of gossip or banter.

4 – Like some of the other bloggy mums, I have recently been contacted by some PR’s wanting to work with me, which is fantastic.  This is an amazing boost to confidence considering I had to start from scratch when I lost a few months of posts in October.   I have only been going again since November under my new name, and I am happy with how things are going.  This is fun for me, and I am thoroughly enjoying it.

5 – This is a holiday weekend, and I don’t have to rush getting the kids up for the next 5 mornings.

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@scottish_mum / My Top 5 Reasons for Twittering

Yada, yada, yada.  I see the look on the faces of anyone that I mention twitter to.  It is normally met with some kind of snigger, and snort, or some comment of how they have far too much to do to spend time on twitter, or asking why I would want to talk to strangers every day.   After that, I don’t tell them I tweet. 

Because of the reactions, very few people know that I tweet.  My husband and kids know, and they snigger and snort at it.  I have two people in RL apart form that who know, and they are fine with it.  So much so, that they even know about this blog.   If you are reading this, yes, you know who you are.  That’s it though.   To other people, my twitter doesn’t really exist.

My enjoyment of using twitter is totally founded on the fact that I have met new friends very quickly.  These are friends, whom we rarely meet, or hardly know, yet we talk to each other nearly every day.

Pre twitter, it was hard for me to imagine that I would enjoy it so much, or that I would end up setting up a blog, and writing away into the cyberspaceworld.  I would like to go public as some of you do, and reveal my face to the world, but I am not comfortable doing that at the moment, so I am doubly grateful for the lovely people who have come into my twitter stream. 

My top 5 reasons for tweeting

1 – I have someone to talk to at any time of day.  There is always someone on the other end of the keyboard in my timeline now.    And that is not just anyone.  They are going to be people like me, with kids, with problems, and not pretending that everything in their lives is rosy.

2 – I don’t have the time with special needs in the family to do the coffee mornings, lunch groups, or mummy socialising locally, and twitter offers me the opportunity to mix with both special needs and mainstream mums.  I get the best of both worlds, which doesn’t happen in real life.

3 – I am doing something that I would never have done before.  Thanks to twitter, I am travelling 500 miles to a place I haven’t been to before, to meet a few hundred other women who have met through blogging at Cybermummy in London.

4 – I found blogging.  Through reading some other peoples blogs, and deciding that I needed an outlet to keep me sane, I started blogging last year.  I messed up when I transferred across to my own domain and lost it all, so it was start all over again.   This blog started in November / December and will take time to build up, and at the moment, I am enjoying having somewhere to splurge.  Do I want to take it further, not yet, as it’s fun.

5 – I thrive on the sometimes multiple, fast conversations going on.  All those  people who join in, all the people helping each other when someone asks for help, and the fact that it keeps me sane. 

That’s it from me.  I think I have been lucky in that I have not managed to get myself into any twitter arguments.   This is the secret though isn’t it.  It’s like a little secret society of fast moving conversation followers.  The speed it moves in comparison to facebook is astounding.

Thats it from me, and if you haven’t tried twitter, it takes a little time to find your circle, and expand to follow the people that you like.   I tried three times before I really got into it.   I’ll have withdrawal symptoms on holidays this year !!!!!!

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My Top Kitchen Gadgets

I thought it might be fun to write about my most used kitchen gadgets.   I’ve already written about my close relationship to the soda stream (here).

Favourite gadgets are not always the things you think they are going to be when you buy them.  Pre children I had loads of things that were tucked away at the back of a cupboard, never to be used, and were eventually ebayed or thrown out.

Now I find myself buying some of the same gadgets that I threw out.  Having 6 people in the house means that having enough of any one thing to go around everyone can be difficult if you are buying from supermarkets, as you need to buy multiples of everything.

If you buy a standard large pie from a supermarket for a family of 4, thats one thing, but you need two pies for a family of 5 or 6, or someone has to do without and have something else.  Having to make two different meals is irritating for me.  I like one lot of cooking, and everyone eats the same things.

Yes, I might have one child who only eats the potatoes with cheese on top if its red meat, but basically I like one lot of cooking, and people can work around what is on offer.   Things like bread, cakes, scones, pizza, quiche etc etc are easily sorted at home and will be future gadget blogs. 

I love my Panasonic Breadmaker, my budget price Slowcooker (19.99 from Aldi), Kenwood Mixer, and DeLonghi coffee maker.

I have an electric hand blender, and it comes quite close to my now must have gadgets, but I would happily live without it.

The five must have’s are the ones I would now go out and urgently replace if they broke / wore out.    I am going to do individual reviews on each one over time, but at the moment, I would love to find out which gadgets other people think of as their “Must haves”.

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Seven things you don’t know about me.

Here are the guidelines
Link back to the person who gave it to you.
Give 7 facts about yourself.
Award up to 15 great bloggers you’ve recently discovered

I’ve been tagged by Carol Finds Her Wings (via twitter) and Mummy Alarm (via twitter) to share seven things that you don’t know about me.  I blog anonymously so this is going to be a difficult one to do.

1.  Rollercoasters and huge fairground trains, loop the loops, and aerial display rides terrify me.   Not just slightly scared, but out of the ordinary, pathetically panicked.  I won’t go on one, even for kids, but Disneylands Vertical Hollywood Towers I could do all day long.

2.  I don’t like peppers.  Red, green or yellow.  I swear I could smell a piece of pepper in a meal from 100 paces.   In restaurants, I always ask for my meal, “with no peppers.”    A third of the time, the meal comes out right, the second third, they have fished the peppers out of the pre-cooked meal and I reject at the first forkful.  The last third of the time, the meal arrives, with the peppers intact, as if nothing were wrong. 

3.  I have absolutely no sense of direction, none at all.   I struggle with maps, and get lost with perspective.  In theory I can, but put me somewhere strange, and in no time at all, I’m twirling in circles.  London should be fun.

4.  My very first concerts were Thin Lizzie (first boyfriend took me, honestly),  Paul King (dressed to the left), Duran Duran, (that was worth seeing) and Simply Red (umm ok, but stuck at the back), & Suzi Quattro (who, I hear you ask).  The first record I bought was Donny Osmond “Puppy Love” and I used to imagine being picked out of the crowd to be sung to.  Ok, I was only about 5, but still.   In public my favourite singer of all time would have to be Marti Pellow from Wet Wet Wet, but I cheat with Robbie Williams.   My secret passion is rock, and I’d love to see Bon Jovi, and Aerosmith.

5.   I don’t get David and Victoria Beckham bashing.   They worked hard, played hard, took advantage of opportunities, made a fortune out of some very clever marketing, and seem to be happy.

6.  I can make candles, all sorts of candles, big and small, in glasses or pillars, plain or scented, and I love them all.  A hobby that became an obsession to the point I’m pretty good.    Anyone who comes into my house is likely to have their noses offended by the notes of wildflowers, bakery, fruit, or spice.   I use them all the time, so have grown accustomed to the stench.  Its good when a relative comes to visit and you only have instant coffee.  Light up the candle in the kitchen and they really will believe, the percolator is going, for a special treat.

7.  I moaned and winged about getting a real bike, to go out with the kids for a cycle ride.  After four years of wingeing, the bike was finally mine, and it’s already been relegated to the back of the shed as it never sees the light of day.  This spring, I AM going to dust it off and actually get round to using it.

The blogs below are the ones I am about to tag for their 7 secrets.   I don’t remember seeing theirs, and I am sure nearly everyone else has been tagged by now.

Twinkly Mummy
The Boy and Me
Soft Thistle
Crystal Jigsaw

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How a Soda Stream broke my addiction.

One of the things I used to do regularly was buy diet drinks.  I was totally addicted to them.  I would have a raging headache if I didn’t have any, so it was not good.  Last year, I decided that I needed to stop the ridiculous cost that I was spending monthly on drinks if I wanted any money to spend on anything else.

I was drinking up to 4 litres and sometimes more a day, and nothing else if I could help it.  Drinks also had to be super cold to be totally enjoyable, and give the breath taking feeling in the back of the throat when drinking.    All that caffeine and artificial sweetener was not doing me any good.  I had tried to stop a few times, but always gave in with the headaches and went back to my old habits.

The brand I liked, I won’t mention, but it was not easy to stop.   I had terrible headaches for about a week, and a sore throat.  I decided to stick it out, and had one or two cups of coffee a day to try and alleviate the caffeine withdrawal symptoms from such a long term caffeine habit.  Using the coffee did help, and I saved one for bedtime so that the headache would go down a little for trying to get to sleep.

I tried drinking water, which is just yeuch to me.  Ok, I know people like it, and it’s the lifegiving nectar, but I just don’t like it.  If I have to drink it, I will, but I’d rather have something flavoured.  I began to use cordials and got fed up of how boring it was.   Then I bought some bottled fizzy water and that was great with the cordials.

Carrying around lots of bottles again, nearly had me revert to picking up the brand I so desired, and on a whim, the next step was to buy a soda stream (just to try it, as you do).  I bought it when we were on holiday and it was reduced in price, so it was a bargain.

I didn’t really expect very much from it, and at first I thought it would be a flash in the pan, and believed I wouldn’t bother with it once the gas bottle ran out.  I didn’t bother with the soda stream syrups, and use the fizzy water it makes to add to lime juice and cordials.  I have even fizzed up some boring wine to make it more fun to drink.

I order enough CO2 bottles to last a few months at a time from Lakeland, and they cover the returns cost so it works out pretty cheaply now to have fizzy water on tap all the time.  The kids and Mr Scottish also use it a lot, and the buzzing is a frequently heard noise in this house.

I’ve kicked the caffeine and now use decaffeinated coffee, and I can have a caffeinated drink now and again without stressing about it any more.  Freedom from 20 years chained to a brand of diet drink may seem silly to some, but it was a big deal for me.

I love my soda stream, and it is THE most used kitchen gadget in our house next to the kettle, but shhhhhh, I would never admit that in RL.


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How to be a Scottish Mum

Looking at how people find my blog today in the statistics package, I was struck by how many people find it by asking the words “how to be a scottish mum.”

I’m not really sure how to take that.   Then I had to think about what makes a scottish mum different from say, an english mum, or an irish mum, or an american mum etc etc.  I could not think of anything, and then it got to me thinking about how some people must portray us as the scottish stereotype.

Would we be pictured in some peoples’ heads as wild and wiry, long haired, tartan wearing lovelies, such as the Christoper Lamberts onscreen wife in Higlander 1?   Are we seen as knife wielding, redhaired, freckled wild women who fight for their families ala Liam Neesons onscreen wife in Rob Roy?

The truth is quite mundane these days.  There are very few tartan wearing women, and even fewer who live in the wilds, in their little mud huts unwashed and jigging around swords with their tartan sashes and fighting for their families and lands.  That is the stuff of history and fiction, rather like the American Wild West.

Yes, there are some communities which are living in the more traditional type houses, and a few even still living without running water and electricity, but these are very few and far between.

I can tell you about some scottish women in the recent past and what motherhood meant to them, but it might take a whole book to tell that story, and one day very soon, that is what I am going to do.

In the short version, my family came from Skateraw, around Newtonhill in the North East of Scotland.  Life was hard.  The menfolk were fishermen and the women had to be hardy.

The cold winters were the hardest.  The women might have several of the family menfolk in the same house, all working at sea in the fishing industry.  It was a very steep hill down to the pier where the boats set to sea.  The womenfolk always went down to meet the boats, and carried the fish up the hill on their creels.

The next day, they would leave early, before light, and walk to Aberdeen with their creels on their backs, and sold as much fish at the market stalls as they could.  Every day, they would make that walk until all the fish was sold, a round trip of more than 10 miles every day.  Their families were well fed, as there was always fish to eat as long as a family had men at sea.

Inbetween walking to Aberdeen and back, these women had to provide food for their families, and wash the sea salt loaded clothes, which would take much  more water than they could carry in one or two trips to the communal taps.  The clothes had to be ready at short notice for their mens sea chests.

Sadly, many young children died, as when the mums  and grandmothers had to work, there was no-one to look after the children, and often young children succumbed to fatal accidents.  Many fell into the house fires where the supper was cooking, or down the cliffs into the sea.  It was a tough existence, and many a fishermans wife had a broken heart for the tragic loss of her “wee ones.”

When the boats were ready to be loaded out again, the womenfolk had to pick up their men and carry them to their boats, to ensure that they managed to get aboard with dry feet.   Imagine the dainty womenfolk of today managing to carry their six foot husbands out to a boat in freezing water, yet these women did it.

 

Once their men took off to sea again, the women then began the chores of fixing the nets, a thankless task that was both difficult, and caused many a raw blister.

This was only 120 years ago when my great grandmother was young.   The speed we  have moved forward in since that time is incredible, and todays fishing industry, and the expecations and duties of scottish mothers has been transformed.    Back then, a toonser woman would not have wanted to marry into a fishermans family.  They might have been well fed, but they sure had to work hard.

So how can someone be a scottish mum?

I don’t have the answer to that.  I am a scottish mum, but have no idea that the difference might be.  Perhaps we cook some slightly different foods, perhaps we have a funny accent.

Maybe there is something that differentiates us, but I don’t know what it is.

If someone has any suggestions, then I’d be happy to listen to them, and now, finally, when someone finds my blog in the search for how to be a scottish mum, they will actually find a post related to what they are looking for.