Category: Family

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Easter holiday plan of action…..

 

Watching my kids frustrated at not being able to have the ultimate freedom offered to children around their own ages is difficult.  Although they are coming up to the age when they should have more freedom out and about, their life circumstances has meant that they are not ready for the full-blown parent free experience that comes with leaving the house at 9 am and not coming home until 6 pm for supper.

That might have been my life as a youngster, but it isn’t going to be the tweenage life of my boys.

Middler finds all crowds challenging when he isn’t on medication that helps to keep his anxieties in check, but is he really all that different from a 2 or a 3-year-old child who just needs a little more TLC instead of the constant battle he faces from outsiders who think he is simply a spoiled and self obsessed lad who should be disciplined more.

In all fairness, I have given up with the mindset that he is ready to be introduced to age appropriate activities, no matter who says he should do more, and I have regressed into a more child like state of parenting for him which sees me pander to his inner baby.

Yeah, yeah, I hear the strict brigade chanting ferociously into the wind that I will regret babying a 10 year old, but hey, he has special needs so they can mind their own business these days, and scornful frowns might just see me turn to laugh at their ridiculosity (I know it’s highly unlikely to be a word, but it does sound good?).

Are the holidays going to be fun? Time will tell.

The first week we have a bit of space to ourselves as a family as middler goes to respite for a few nights, and then I am taking them away for a week in the caravan for the first outing of the year.  I am looking forward to it, but also dreading at the same time.  He is so much more work when we are away as we can’t lock all doors and windows and walk around with keys around our necks.

That got me to thinking about what I am going to do with them all, considering two of them are going to be highly rested is an understatement.  Littlest will begin to turn night into day as he strives to be awake at times midder is sleeping, and eldest will be annoyed at having to help keep his younger brother on the straight and narrow.

Plan of action – activities for kids this Easter

Give the bikes a little TLC, and pencil in a few days during Easter for bike runs.  The kids can do with the fresh air, and my rear end could do with the exercise.

Easter egg planning.  My boys may be older, but I don’t think kids are ever too old to roll boiled eggs with painted faces down a nice steep hill.  In emergencies, the longish driveway at the front of the house would serve, but the dog may spend a week on emergency potty runs after scoffing all the smushed up eggy bits as she uses her expertly trained nose to seek out any food in a crisis.

Fake a drawing competition on my blog, with a prize that any child of mine would be delighted to have, and of course, one of their entries will win *cough*.  Hmm, I might actually make a real competition on the blog for kids, I like that idea and have some PR things lying around that would make perfect gifts.  My boys would love to pick the winner.

DO NOT DO SHOPPING – Online is my very bestest friend in school holidays.

And of course, I would never pretend my kids are all 2 years younger than they are to get access to the local playframes.

They’re just tall, honestly !

How does everyone else cope with the Easter holidays?

I know our situation is slightly more different to most as I have special needs to consider, but hey, he’s not that much different to keeping an inattentive toddler amused 24/7.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Mothers Day Haul for the Scottish Mum Household from the Kids and Warner Bros.

Mothers day is a good day for some, and not such a good day for others.  Motherhood came to me by adoption, but a mother I am.  Warner Bros. came first with a fabulous box of feel good movies for me to watch (when the kids are not here) and sent through Doctor Zhivago, An American in Paris, Gone with the Wind and The Blind Side.

From the kids, came a lovely bunch of flowers, a box of Ferrero Roche chocolate, a little make up bag and a prettily decorated daffodil from my middle boy who made it at his special school.  The teachers had spent time to help him write out the card himself, and he is as proud as punch of it.

There were two little golden oscar chocolate figures in the Warner Bros. pack, of which one was a little broken, but it still ate well.

Yum said littlest who was a little worried at first by the gold coating, but it was tasty.

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Three generations of Scottish Mum women at the age of 18 ish.

Uncovering some family photos, I came across some lovely photographs of my grandmother, that I have not seen in years.

We don’t have many photographs as a family, and there are so few of me that it is shocking.  I will go to my grave, as almost the faceless entity, mother of 3 adopted children.

My grandmother – how hip and trendy was she.  I wish there were lots more photographs.  My grandfather took the photograph so I have no idea who she is posing on the bike with.  We Scots didn’t all run around in our kilts and sporrans, even in the early 1900’s !!

 

My mother – now where DID she put that dress??

 

And last, but not least (I hope) – me, with awful bouffant hair, but I wish I was still as slim as that.

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I Demand a Parent Contract – Full and Binding

Image: maple / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I had to go shopping for a birthday card this morning.  After wandering endlessly looking for one that the little mister might not think was too gauche, or too girly, or too boyfriendy for his gal pal, I eventually found one that looked plain enough to be boring, but sensible enough not to be misconstrued as anything remotely resembling a card that someone who has a crush on you would send (phew).

Thinking about the ensuing afternoon and future possibilities kept me in a daydream as I imagined fussing about as mother of the groom, and pointy finger wagging in his direction if he dared to so much as divert from his route to have a pint half an hour before the ceremony.  That led me on to thinking about what clothes we should wear, what other people would think – and a lightbulb moment ensued.

Why, just why on earth do we care so much about what other people think?  Ok, so they might raise their eyebrows at the potential of an 11-year-old groom having a pint on his way to his wedding, but come on, I’m allowed to daydream.   My little mister is just not caring in the slightest about how the future is going to turn out, as he’s not even on very good terms with most of the women of this planet (myself included).

So, all this planning and scheming and wedding attire drooling is all about me.   I can’t be the only one who thinks that the rollercoaster rides to get that far are just too much to live with.  Oh the pressure.

I’d love to set out a parental contract for rules between parents.  It would have to be signed and witnessed by all classmates mums and noted by a qualified barrister (free of charge of course, it’s for mums).

PARENTAL CONTRACT

1 – Attire
All children under 10 years old must attend any function, party or playdate with mandatory ripped jeans, dirty shirt, messed up hair, egg dribbling from chin, and a big cheesy grin.  Parents must come straight from doing housework with no make up and scraped back hair.

2 – Birthday Parties
Bring a small gift – what on earth makes people think it’s ok to give anyone under 90 a voucher, or a ten pound note, it’s a child’s party?   Smile when you enter the room, and for goodness sake, don’t let the gossipy ghouls put you off from going over and dipping your hand into the party food.  Size issues MUST be left at the door, and any parent partaking of party fare must eat 4 chocolates and 3 sausage rolls as a minimum.

3 – Playdates
Do not spend 5 hours pre-cleaning your home for 4 pre-schoolers to run around and mess up.  You’ll only regret it.  I promise that I will only clean my house to the degree that you will not be sitting in a pile of hair and fluff when you take a seat to watch the proceedings.   Dirty dishes may be hidden in the oven, and mucky clothes make very good cushion stuffers.

I will light a candle bearing the smells of filtered coffee and freshly baked double choc chip muffin, so be ready for a  watery latte and supermarket cake.

I will only provide clean activities without water, colour or squeezies and I expect you to do the same if a playdate is reciprocated.

4 – After Playdates or Parties
We agree to a mutual verbal thanks for any presents received.   Thank you cards – pored over by bored tinys and tweens that get ripped up 5 minutes after they are received must be banned by mutual appreciation.  Arrive on time to pick up your offspring if you have dropped off and run for the hills, and you must agree to actually come in and help put rubbish in the bin before you go.   Visit my toilet and clean up after your own child if they poop in my toilet and I will do the same for you.

That is about all I can think of just now, add any more that you can think of below.

Please don’t read and run, leave a comment to let me know you’ve been here.  We all love a bit of comment love, and the back-link won’t do you any harm either 🙂

 

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Internet Safety Day & Online Games for Children

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV1ZCF4oueQ

It was Internet safety day yesterday, and while I didn’t get to writing a post about it, I came across something that is aimed at children which worried me.

I am pretty vigilant with my boys lives online, which is probably a bit hypocritical considering how large my own online footprint is these days, but that probably makes me more aware of the possibilities.

My two had joined the growing army of young children who were playing Roblox.   I would ask that all parents whose young children use it to exercise caution.  Please research the reviews well and use the forums before you decide to allow your children to use it.  I would recommend that this site be used for over 16’s and possibly over 18’s.

Obviously it is up to each parent to decide what their children have access to online, but I would stress to do your homework around the online world style games offered to children.

When I first read the access request, I felt reassured that it was similar to the Penguin Club style interaction which keeps it safe for children, but it is very different indeed.

Moving on to the positive, there is a yearly campaign that helps promote safer use of the Internet among children and young adults.

This year they ran with the tagline:

“Connecting generations and educating each other, with the slogan: “Discover the digital world together… safely!”

This videos I have attached to this post are quite powerful.

Our children and young adults can be easily led.  We wouldn’t open our front doors to children and let strangers in, yet we don’t monitor our children enough online to ensure that they don’t open a portal to their safety bubble through the online world.

Be aware – check what your children are accessing, and who they are talking to.   Try it out for yourself when they ask for access to a new Internet game or craze as that is the only way you are going to know if it is age appropriate or not.

 

 

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What NOT to feed our pets !!!!

Most of us are guilty of it, and I have many a time scraped the leftover food into our dogs dish, or given her a treat or few from what we are eating.  Apart from a vague knowledge that grapes and chocolate are not that great for dogs, I had not really looked into it in any depth.

I’ve seen a few statements recently about dogs and wolfing down the Christmas candy, and I am guilty of giving the lolloping labrador of the house the odd square of chocolate and she is highly addicted to melon.

I am however, going to change my mind on the chocolate issue as having a look at some of the symptoms of doggie overdose have me utterly convinced that one more square of the cocoa variety is going to have her rolling onto her back with all four paws up in the air for her final breath.

Just to put things into perspective, I had a look for the most poisonous foods I could find for dogs (and other pets).  If your pet shows any of the signs or symptoms of poisoning after eating any of these foods, call your vet urgently.

1 – Cocoa  and Caffeine Treats

Chocolate – say no more, and coffee bean type treats.   Seemingly they overstimulate the heart and the nervous system.

Signs of Poisoning :  Increasing heart beat, agitation, diarrhoea, shaking, very thirsty, restless, seizures

2 – Fruits – Grapes and Raisins 

Thankfully I found no evidence of poisoning with melon as a result, but the possible effect of grapes and raisins opened my eyes as they can damage or cats and dogs precious kidneys.

Signs of Poisoning: Very thirsty, being tired, being sick and needing to pee more often.  As few as 4 – 5 raisins could be poisonous for a dog up to about 10kg.

Fruits – Seeds

Keep away form apple, cheery, peach and plum seeds as they contain cyanide.

It doesn’t take much to realise that a pet ingesting cyanide may become very sick, very soon.

Signs of Poisoning: Sickness, heavy breathing, irregular heartbeat, coma.

Fruits – Avocados

As well as having a high fat content, persin can cause problems in dogs.

Signs of Poisining: Sickness and diarrhoea.

3 – Alcohol and Yeast

I have heard of people laughing at stories of tipsy toms or drunken dachshunds (well, not really, but you get the picture).  It seems that alcohol has a similar effect to chocolate in poisoning our pets.  I think we might have been more aware of the dangers of alcohol in comparison to chocolate, but it is still a bit of a shock to realise that it affects all pets nervous systems.

Bread doughs and uncooked yeasty mixes are attractive to dogs but give the same effect as the yeast turns to methanol.

Signs of Poisoning : Increasing heart beat, agitation, diarrhoea, shaking, very thirsty, restless, seizures

4 – Vegetables – Onions

Any of the onion family can cause problems for our pets, and can also include garlic and chives.   They can destroy blood cells and damage kidneys.

It is difficult to know how much is too much, but effects from these can build up in the system.   Watch table scraps for cooking with onions and garlic in it.

Signs of Poisoning : Increased heart rate, tiredness, lethargy, being sick, diarrhoea, pale gums, blood in pee.

5 – Xylitol

This is a sweetener, used as a sugar free replacement and often used in chewing gum and sweets.  It does not agree with dogs, and causes an increase in insulin leading to low blood sugar, and can cause severe liver damage.

It does not take much to poison a dog so be aware if your four legged friend gets into a pack of your sweeties.

Signs of Poisining: Staggering, collapse and seizures, being weak and could be sick.

6 – Macademia Nuts

Pets in general tend to like nuts, especially dogs and small animals, so I was surprised to see that macademia nuts can cause muscle and nervous system problems for dogs.

Signs of poisoning: Being sick, being lethargic, shaking and body temperature increasing.

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For the future, out goes chocolate for my girl, and thankfully her favourite melon gets to stay.   It is important to remember that not all animals will show all symptoms, so if your animal has overdone one of the things on this list, and begins to show the symptoms – please get good advice from a vet.

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Fitting In Nicely With Society

With a special needs child who can’t fit in with crowds, we struggle with the regular family holidays where children were meant to fit in with groups of people.  He was never made to be held in a small apartment, or to sit by a pool, or even to be able to join in with childrens’ clubs that are often a huge feature of mum and dad chilling by the pool and letting someone else look after teenies or tweenies.

The day we discovered caravanning was a total fluke.  After a disastrous trip to Disneyland Paris, we took stock on the way home.  Our trip began with a car breakdown in Glasgow while driving from Aberdeen to Paris.  It didn’t get better while we were away, when middler struggled to cope with any and all queues in Disneyland.

The complex we stayed in was not special needs friendly, and unless you were willing to spend a fortune, there was nowhere to go and play.  It was a disaster.

After a rotten few days, we decided to head for home early using the scenic route.  We stopped off near Le Havre and as it was a lovely day, we settled on the beach for a few hours.

Middler had a whale of a time on the near empty beach and on going to a supermarket, we decided to buy a tent on the spur of the moment.   With much trepidation, we found a local campsite close to the beach.

We pitched our tent.   We had our car, a tent, and two blow up beds.   Nothing to cook on, and nothing to eat off.  All the kids were in seventh heaven and had a whale of a time.   Nobody stared at middler when he did something silly or said something out-of-place.   At the time, I put that down to being a different language and that they had no idea what he was actually saying or doing.

When we got home, I booked us a static caravan up at Grannie’s Heilan Hame to see if the caravan environment was for us.   The man of the house was working, so I drove up from Aberdeen with the three kids and the dog.  They all loved it.

The next week we got home, we decided to just go and “look” at caravans to see if we would prefer a touring caravan as I didn’t fancy going to the same place all the time.

That “look” at second-hand caravans saw us walk away with a van for that year, and the following year we went back for one with a better layout for us.  We chose a triple bunk at the back.  Yes, it’s messy back there at times with three children.

          

Thus began our adventures into Caravanning…..

People on caravan sites are just fabulous.  I have rarely come across anyone who doesn’t show understanding for children with special needs.  We book sites where the childrens’ park is close by, or overlooking where we are parked in the van.  The boys  always find someone to play with, and adventures are always on our doorstep.

River Adventures

I prefer quieter sites to the big commercial ones, and with the boys growing faster than I can believe, I know that we will need to visit more of the big facility sites in the next few years for variety.  In 2012, we’d like to head down to France with the van, but that will depend on how the year goes.

There really is not that much to owning a caravan.  After deciding you want one, it is just the simple mechanics of getting one that your car is able to tow and getting out there and having fun.   My boys friends go on holiday once or twice a year, but we go away as often as we can, and in summer this year, we spent 5 out of the 6 weeks of school holidays on a site.

People buy caravans from upwards of a few hundred pounds, but you do have to try to find one that fits your family and isn’t damp.  It can be done on a budget, or for a fortune.

I loved the camping lark, but I was determined to have my comforts to do it.   If camping / caravanning was going to be our holiday future, I really couldn’t do without my hairdryer, kettle, cooker, bathroom or comfy bed.

Chilling Out Making Shadows on the Roof

Chilling Out Making Shadows on the Roof

Call me soft, but there is nothing better on a cold windy day than to be wrapped up warm and cosy inside the van listening to the rain pitter patter on the roof, and wondering how on earth those hardy campers in tents manage to do it.

Diggerland

We pondered over a motor home v a caravan.  For us, the benefit of a caravan and being able to leave it on a site while we had fun touring in the car won over the prospect of having to pack everything away to take a motor home everywhere we went.    Caravans also have less maintenance, and the prospect of cheap caravan insurance swung the decision for us.

We have had huge adventures in the last three years.   I have shared lots of them on my blog, but I’ve gathered some of the pictures taken while we were away to show you here.   We love the van  If we every had to sell her, we would be devastated.  It really is a second home for us.   We prefer Caravan Club sites to the Independent ones as having the security of wardens appeals to me if I take the boys away on my own.

Cool Dog

Our caravan is my own little corner of adventure.  What’s yours?

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Disclaimer:  This is a featured post.

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Teethscapades

The one thing that hasn’t been boring this last month in our house has to be the Dentist.

Dentists are usually one of those things that rarely make a dent in my life.   As a young thing, I chose veneers and a crown in place of expensive jewellery for milestone birthdays as my own chompers were damaged as just a wee thing.

I spent every year of my life from age 8 to about 20 ish with my hand covering my mouth when I smiled.  I used to sort of grimace with my mouth closed when I could, or limit the amount that I laughed.

Granted, it means I don’t have as many smile lines as most people my age (huge benefit to not smiling for over 12 years) and I had no jewellery to show off as I grew up, but I could finally smile without worrying how people would look at my damaged teeth.

Fast forward xx years and I decide that the last Dentist I took my children to was a snotty, freshly out of Aussie Dentistry novice.  He gaily lambasted me in front of my kids for the fact that their teeth had signs of damage.  I guess he never bothered to read the fact that they are adopted, that baby teeth were rotten before they got to me, and adult teeth have come in pretty weak for some reason.  Naa, just complain, complain, complain.

So, off goes I, when a new Dentist opens up and I think I can actually get a NHS Dentist to cut the potential costs for my ageing mouth of chompers.  I happily sign up myself, my husband, mother and three children.

We all have check-ups and they give me an x-ray to see if there is any decay behind my many veneers.  To my dismay, a semi-front tooth needs a filling.

The man of the house goes first and while a wisdom tooth is being extracted, the Dentist slips and spears her finger while her hand is in his mouth.  Cue tests for HIV, hepatitis and other things I can’t even begin to imagine for both of them.  Oh the joys.

I have hidden decay tooth filled, and happily, old veneer doesn’t pop off during the process.   I skip home with glee before coming back the next week with eldest for a filling.

He makes Dentist next customer more than an hour late as he starts to scream the place down every time she came near him with needle to freeze his mouth.  Major sweating from Dentist and I, bribery and corruption – and much holding of head and hands to help get it done.  Afterwards he says “that wasn’t so bad”.

Filled tooth with veneer starts to ache, badly.   I return for a new appointment for the Dentist to tell me that the last filling was close to the nerve and she tried to take out the filling to put a bandage on the nerve.   She froze my mouth, nothing, still felt it.  She added more freeze, and yup, still didn’t work.  After that I was sent packing with antibiotics and a wish and a hope that it starts to calm down over the weekend.  So far, it’s still a wish and a hope, but it’s only coming in excruciating waves every 30- 60 minutes instead of every 20 – 30 minutes.

Yesterday, the man of the house bit on a sweetie from the kids, and his filling from three weeks ago fell out….

Surely our trips to the Dentist will subside soon………… I am hoping they are all sorted out BEFORE Xmas and New Year hit us.    The way things are going, I am not entirely hopeful of a happy ending.

Toothache hurts – end of story.

🙁

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Sleep is for the Weak

Image: m_bartosch / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

After reading  Jane’s blog yesterday at Northern Mummy with Southern Children about the 7pm bedtime routing beginning to change, I had to laugh as I saw it at about 10pm, while I was trying very hard to ignore the 2 reprobate children who were still wandering the house looking for snacks and drinks.

I can’t remember how or where it started to deteriorate.  The boys have never been good sleepers and one is up with the sun and goes to bed with the sun.  In summer, he sleeps for about 4 hours a night.

It was a very fast progression, this bedtime lark.

Within a few short months, peace and tranquility at night-time  had gone.  To clarify, in my humble estimation, peace and tranquility is only broken if more than one child spends upwards of an hour or more screaming their heads off at bed time.

The deterioration of the bedtime routine clashed with the onset of cot side climbing and big boy beds.  Overnight, the children constrained by cot sides found the freedom that they had longed for.  No longer were we able to keep them from moving.

In middlers case, the next step was to move a child gate to the door of his bedroom to give him that little extra room to manoeuvre, without being let loose on the world at a moments notice and without anyone watching his back.   I thought I was so clever with that little trick  and congratulated myself on my cleverness with smug smiles to all.

Smugness laughed in my face as within a week or two, middler had managed to learn to climb over the gate.   Red raw eyes over the next few weeks of staying awake and outside his door to stop him heading off in the middle of the night made me look as if I had a huge vino habit.

Smugness reappeared when I found a dog gate in Argos that looked the same as the child gate, only much taller, and the red-eyed eyed witch disappeared as sleep came back to the mum of the house.

All too soon, the returned smugness evaporated when he realised he could throw a wobbly, lob a huge kick in the direction of the gate and it would fly off the door in a testament to his strength and ability to grab the fleeting tastes of freedom that he had managed to acquire before.

Elder and littlest get tablets to help them sleep.  It must be something that runs in their birth family.  This permanently awake condition is totally alien to me.    I was the poster child for the long lie campaign as I only ever wanted to get up out of my cosy little pit when I had to.

To this day, I still need three alarm clocks set to get me up, yet the slightest whimper from a child usually wakes me (oxymoron I know).  I do say usually as I sometimes sleep through all madness with oblivion.   There are only so many waking hours that a sane person can survive on (who said I was sane).

My boys are fast approaching the teenage years, and with so little sleep in their lives so far, I can’t help but think that they are going to grow up into insomniac nightwalkers, destined to walk the streets at night.  My paranoia knows no bounds !!

I have long given up the fight for bedtime as it is impossible to make someone sleep if they don’t ever feel tired.    The tablets are wonderful when they work and if I catch the odd glimpse of a yawn, I take that as my excuse to race to kitchen, fill up a pint glass full of milk to help tip the almost sleeper over the edge with a full belly.

They say Margaret Thatcher only ever got 5 – 6 hours sleep a night and since she was dubbed the “iron lady,”  I guess that really means that sleep is for the weak, and the rest of us are chicken lily livered sleep loving bedaholics.

 

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Special Birthday Film Night

Last week there was a little boys birthday in our house.  Thanks to the lovely Claire from Cheshire Claire, and talking to her about the successful film night that she had for her son’s birthday a few weeks ago, I decided to copy her and have a few friends over to play for littlest (ahem, sit and quietly watch a film was the plan).

There was much excitement for the planning of the party to come and littlest spoke of nothing else for about a week before the actual day.

The invitations went badly when a few of the children he asked turned him down flat.  School has been difficult for him recently and living with his brother is not easy, so I was sad to see him being distressed about it all and I decided to make it extra special for the boys who did manage to come.  I asked a few boys whose mothers I know and who do actually like my boy, rather than the popular crowd he would like to be in with.  With a few confirmed film nighters, it was down to me to arrange the quiet peaceful night to come.

I had strict orders of what had to be done for the party.   There were to be no brothers in attendance which I thought was fair for him, since he carries a heavy burden day-to-day with his older brother – and at times he is expected to act older than his years.

We started off with some fireworks.  Apologies for the poor quality photos for this post, but we were all so busy having fun that photos took second place to being mum for the night and I think that just set the boys off into mischievous mode.

I ordered a huge “beast” pizza from our local Snappy Pizza place and I wish I had managed to get a picture of the HUGE box, but alas, the kids dived in far too quickly for me to be able to get any worthwhile photos as I dished out and served up slice after slice of monster pizza, but I did manage to snaffle elders plate as he sneaked upstairs with his pal and their plates of swag from the party food.

This plate is for an 11 year old, and he came back for a double helping.

Now, onto the quiet part of the night.  Was film night as nice and quiet as I had imagined it?

I’ll let you decide that for yourself while you listen to the shy and retiring children play with the fabulous Hexbug Nanos that  we were provided to brighten up littlests night.  You will need your sound on to appreciate the peaceful and calming environment of the evening.

Did they watch a film – not on your Nellie.

The boys were here from 4pm and all picked up at 8.30 so it was a looooong party.  After they all left, I scooped out a lovely tub of ice cream and whipped up a sauce of condensed milk, the Nutella spread that was so thoughtfully gifted to us, and added  Smarties and Fudge.

Wickedly sinful, but perfect end to the day.  Yum.

And to the wonderful PR that provided us with the Nutella and the Hexbugs to make his party go with a bang, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

The Hexbug Nanos made the night extra special.

Scottish Mum
x

 

 

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Sweet Temptation – Who’s Right – Teacher or Me? Help…..

We had a situation last week.   I may be reading too much into it, but it really irritated me to the bone.

On the way home from school, elder was very quiet and piped up that he had a letter than I had to sign for him to take back into school.  I didn’t think that much about it at the time and just thought it would be for “yet” another trip for P7’s.

At home, he sheepishly slipped the letter under my nose and I read it with total disgust.  Not in disgust at him I have to say (although I had to show him some displeasure) but in disgust at the contents.

It begins by saying this type of thing:

Dear Mss xxxxx
I am really sorry for stealing sweeties from your desk, and I know it was just too tempting, so please please forgive me and I know you can never ever trust me ever again for lying and nobody likes a thief.   I have to say sorry to the whole class and I hope you can forgive me.
Yada Yada Yada you get the idea.

 Some of you may be shocked that on this occasion, I didn’t give my boy the third degree, or make him bow and scrape to a pretence of guilt in front of me.  Some of you may stop reading right now, make your mind up what kind of person I am, and then you don’t find out my side of the story.

Wind my neck back in for a month and we find a group of “professionals” and I talking about my boy, his future, and his transition to the big school next year.  As part of that discussion, I tell them about my sons sugar addiction and cravings.  Bear in mind that I am not talking about your average pouty child who just likes a sweetie or two.

I have only recently come to terms with the fact that my son is a sugar addict and that it is part of his condition.  I specifically mentioned it at the meeting where his teacher was present as I had only just found out for myself that he was not just an out and out thief from the treat cupboard, but actually has an illness that is a side effect of his condition and compels him to ingest sweet stuff.  He is just lucky as can be that his genes keep him as slender as he is with all the stuff he packs away.

It helps me to understand why we cannot have lots of bags of sweets in the house, or lots of packets of biscuits as if he knows they are there, he will get up during the night and clear the cupboards.  This behaviour has caused many arguments in the family with extended groundings, removal of privileges, promises of treats to leave them alone etc etc etc and NOTHING worked.  I was so in the dark that I thought my boy was just pushing the limits further than is acceptable.

Back to the story.   We have the teacher INFORMED that he is a sugar addict and that it is part of his condition.  Then the teacher leaves a bowl of sweeties on her desk to give to the children.  I can only guess at the reason for the sweeties, but I suspect they are an incentive for good behaviour.

Picture this.  An empty room with no adults around, and a group of boys who probably have little opportunity to make the grade for one of these revered sweeties help themselves to one and congratulate themselves on their cleverness at outwitting the adults.  One of the boys feels guilty, so dobs the rest of them in and says he didn’t pinch any “so I am told by my boy” .  He also tells me that the dobber in got off with it.

At this point, I am fighting the urge not to laugh as in the same situation, if I were a child in their shoes, I suspect that I would have helped myself to one of those sweeties too.  I am also irritated with the teacher for putting such temptation in the way of someone who has a sugar addiction and expecting them not to take one.   I am even more irritated with myself for expecting the teacher to even to remember that he has a sugar addiction.

I will not be carrying on this issue at home though I cannot tell my boy exactly what I think of it all.

They were warned – and my boy had to take the same punishment as the other boys who took a sweetie, but heaven above – why, why, why would you leave a bowl of sweeties on a desk in front of a class of kids.   It is utter madness.

What do you all think?