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God versus Santa

Now there’s a question.

It did come up in conversation.  You know the type.  You’re standing at the sink peeling spuds, and out comes a voice from behind you demanding to know the difference between God and Santa.

Turning round, with three pairs of eyes looking at you, you instantly become conscious that the voice is no longer of the age that platitudes can keep it happy for the next year, so, it went like this:

“Can you wait until I’ve finished the spuds, I really need to concentrate when I use a sharp knife.”

Any hope I had that the conversation would be forgotten amidst Minecraft and X-box challenges was useless.

At the supper table, out came the question again.

“So, Santa and God.”

“Yes,” says I, dreading how this is going.

“They’re the same.”

“How’s that then?”

“Well, nobody living has ever seen God, but plenty people living have seen Santa.”

“How does that make them the same?”

A serious pout comes over an exasperated face as he thinks how to answer.

“They both have white hair and white beards, and I think God turns into Santa for Christmas and he looks happier as Santa so I think he should stay Santa all the time.”

I have to say I was speechless….

Thankfully the phone rang and the conversation was diverted, but I know it’s going to come up again very soon…………..



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“Shhhhh fir Santa” Christmas Doric Poem

It’ll seen be time fir christmas
Time fir abody tae say
Hud yer weesht, it’s gettin late
Shut them peepers at end o the day

But, seen as yer ma’s heids hits e hay
Ye teeter oot o yer covers an mair
Yer lugs wirk sae hard, they shiver
An hush as ye go, near tae at door

Creepin doon yon steps fair sleekit
Teetin roun an roun, yer een openin wi frite
Shhhhhh em bells tinkle an jinngle
Ye look thru windae panes, an clap yer haun tae yer muth

A sleigh skiffs by, unner yer nose
Wi a flash fae rudolph, winkin is een
Shh lik a moose, scurry an shimmer
Up tae yer bed, afore santa slips doon yer lum