Category: Family

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You’re a “gobby shite.”

With hindsight I could have avoided being the epic parental fail that comes from having too much confidence after one successful outing.

With middler in asentia on Tuesday, visiting a play frame went really well.  Being exceptionally cocky and suffering a mini brain impediment, I went back with a friend and our kids after after taking them for an unusually pleasant swim.

Still basking in the success of Tuesday, my brain conveniently forgot middler wasn’t there.  Mindful of the meddlers who keep telling me that I need to give middler a little bit of freedom and saying things like “aww, you’re really big enough do “this” or “that” on your own, I accepted the inevitable disapproval of the smothering mother brigade who think he is just overprotected and needs to get some freedom from adults, and threw caution to the wind.

BIG, BIG mistake.

Congratulating ourselves on possibly finally reaching the hallowed stage of play frame parents in absentia, we sat outside the play room at our table.  Freedom is one thing, but this 11 year old of mine still needed to be kept close.  It seemed to be going well, so I gritted my teeth, let them get on with it and we ordered lunch for the kids.

During pudding, a member of staff came over with an older woman whose jacket matched her flushed cheeks, and the two boys she was with.  Instantly eyeing up the kids at the table, I thought I knew who was in the firing line and was prepared to read the riot act and not allow mine back in.

She had the misfortune of going on the attack.

“Your kids, yada yada yada.”

The kids said she called them “gobby shites.”  She denied that at first, but had to back down and admit it when eldest backed up the two youngest in the spotlight for that.

Pointing the finger at a group of kids and then rattling off to them in front of me isn’t going to get my support either.

“You told me my mum must be proud of me.” said friends son.

“That’s right.” said angry woman.  “She must be really proud of you, your behaviour is terrible.”  It’s clear she thinks friends son is my son and I don’t bother saying he isn’t.  It’s clear she also thinks our kids are badly brought up hooligans.  Our wild air dried swimming pool hair, slap free faces and casual clothes do nothing to correct the impression that we are anything but minky tinks.

“Oh” says I,”you’re being sarcastic to them too then?”

She’s getting annoyed by this time, stuttering, shaking her head, voice cracking, pointing her fingers at the kids and arguing with them.

She pointed at friends fostered son with visible special needs and included him in it.

“He’s got special needs.”  She looked at his face and realised how disabled he was and backed down.

She then included middler.  I was bored of her by this point, so although I was quite sure middler was no innocent, I calmly tell her that he was disabled.

That left three possible culprits at the table.

Eldest held his hands up and said “don’t look at me, I didn’t get involved.”

Then she was left with 2 kids who had a falling out with her 2 kids.  All 4 kids seem about the same size.  It all really boiled down to boys having an argument.

I wasn’t prepared to rise to the bait or get into an argument as she came over spoiling for a fight and determined to prove to herself how badly raised our kids were.  I had no intention of getting into an argument but I did say that if she had wanted to talk calmly about it, I would have been prepared to listen.  She stormed off in a huff, still in high dudgeon and I would guess family at home will have been regaled by tales of horrific children with devil horns and forked tongues.

I’m always prepared to listen to someone (and act) if any of my kids have been OTT, but coming over ready to rumble isn’t going to get my sympathy.

On the way home, eldest decided to tell me the two boys  had been making fun of middlers hand actions when he gets excited.  Our two kids who got into a brawl with hers had been annoyed.  When middler is happy or excited, his hands go up to his face, he clenches his fists and he makes involuntary noises that sometimes embarrass him.  Apparently this woman had also been mimicking his hand actions when she was annoyed with him, instead of coming to get me.

I don’t know exactly what happened as I never saw any of it, so there is little I can really say.

If she’d come up calmly to talk to us, I could have dealt with it, removed kids and sorted things out.  I am actually quite reasonable and prepared to sort out kid disputes.  As it was, I couldn’t listen to someone so hyped up in anger that they just wanted to argue with a group of kids.  The whole point of behaviour modification is not getting angry with angry kids.  That gets nobody anywhere.  Since middler didn’t seem to be directly involved, I let them back to play.

Another BIG, BIG mistake.

Forgetting we were reaching the stage of medicine wearing off, I kept my fingers crossed while I enjoyed a chat and a soft drink.  Staff approached again.  This time it was middler himself.

A younger girl had thrown something which had landed on middler and he then went after the girl, completely inappropriately.  So much for giving him a bit of freedom.

It’s the first and very LAST time it will happen until he leaves my home.

AND, I am officially the shitty parent who let her kids run riot and am thoroughly disgusted with myself for even bothering to try it.

I tried to find the parents of the girl he went after to make him apologise, but I couldn’t find them.

I doubt we’ll be back to that play frame with middler, it’s just too much hassle.  Even if we stayed inside the room, most of the play frame is out of sight so you can’t see what they are doing anyway.

What on earth were we thinking to let two disabled kids go into a play frame with their brothers ??

 

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God versus Santa

Now there’s a question.

It did come up in conversation.  You know the type.  You’re standing at the sink peeling spuds, and out comes a voice from behind you demanding to know the difference between God and Santa.

Turning round, with three pairs of eyes looking at you, you instantly become conscious that the voice is no longer of the age that platitudes can keep it happy for the next year, so, it went like this:

“Can you wait until I’ve finished the spuds, I really need to concentrate when I use a sharp knife.”

Any hope I had that the conversation would be forgotten amidst Minecraft and X-box challenges was useless.

At the supper table, out came the question again.

“So, Santa and God.”

“Yes,” says I, dreading how this is going.

“They’re the same.”

“How’s that then?”

“Well, nobody living has ever seen God, but plenty people living have seen Santa.”

“How does that make them the same?”

A serious pout comes over an exasperated face as he thinks how to answer.

“They both have white hair and white beards, and I think God turns into Santa for Christmas and he looks happier as Santa so I think he should stay Santa all the time.”

I have to say I was speechless….

Thankfully the phone rang and the conversation was diverted, but I know it’s going to come up again very soon…………..

 

 

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Review: Notcutts Indoor and Outdoor Christmas Lights

Notcutts sent me a lovely box of 200 indoor and outdoor lights to use for our tree.

We have some lights, but the boys were determined to put them on the tree as they have several flashing functions on them.  We put the tree up last night, and the kids are highly delighted with it, but tonight our lights for outside blew, so tomorrow is likely to be a day where we take the lights off the tree and put them outside so that we have some bling on the house this year.

The lights we had have 200 multifunction, cool white led chaser lights.  They have a memory controller and with a length of 13.93m + a 5 metre lead cable, they are long enough to do most houses.

My lights are £19.99 from the Notcutts Online Store, and they have lots of other variations.  Considering the RRP of these is £13.99, they are a good bargain to stock up on for next year too.  Notcutts has Christmas Trees, free  delivery over £30, and have a larger product range for a Garden Centre with indoor furniture, some pet items, and lots of Christmas goodies.

Important:  Please read the instruction leaflets when you are putting Christmas lights onto your house.

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Our Christmas Package from Warner Bros.

Warner Bros. came up with a couple of grown up DVD’s that 2 of my boys will watch.

In the little pack, I have:

  • The Dark Knight Rises
  • New Year’s Eve
  • Christmas Stocking
  • Three Candy Canes
  • Three Chocolate Figures.

It’s always nice that Warner Bros. remembers I have three boys.

The Dark Knight Rises also comes with Ultraviolet that allows me to take the film with me, and not leave me tied to a DVD player.

As always, the DVD’s are available reasonably from Amazon.

A little bit about them.

The Dark Knight Rises

It has been eight years since Batman vanished into the night, turning, in that instant, from hero to fugitive. Assuming the blame for the death of D.A. Harvey Dent, the Dark Knight sacrificed everything for what he and Commissioner Gordon both hoped was the greater good. For a time the lie worked, as criminal activity in Gotham City was crushed under the weight of the anti-crime Dent Act.

 But everything will change with the arrival of a cunning cat burglar with a mysterious agenda. Far more dangerous, however, is the emergence of Bane, a masked terrorist whose ruthless plans for Gotham drive Bruce out of his self-imposed exile. But even if he dons the cape and cowl again, Batman may be no match for Bane.

New Years Eve

“New Year’s Eve” celebrates love, hope, forgiveness, second chances and fresh starts, with intertwining stories told amidst the pulse and promise of New York City on the most dazzling night of the year.  With Ashton Kutcher, Zac Efron, Robert De Niro, Jon Bon Jovi, Halle Berry, Jessica Biel, Katherine Heigl, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Hillari Swank – and even more, it certainly is full of big names.

 

 

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Dons Day Out from AFC – Aberdeen – Not Impressed

I remember a few years ago when my eldest went to the Aberdeen Football Club Dons Day out back then.  They got special treatment, a few players came out and the kids got a group photograph, with a few players in the front.  Maybe that was the players in a slightly better place and the T-Shirts seemed not to shoddy either, although they came in one size – HUGE.   It was a positive memory, and one that stayed with eldest for the last few years as something special..

Fast forward a few years later, and the opportunity to go to a Dons Day out came again.

Buoyed by his last experience, eldest was all for it, and so I paid for 2 adult tickets and 1 child.  Having to pay an adult price for a child of 12 is bad enough, but the lack of anything special means that I’ll never let my kids go to one again.   Yes, 50% of the proceeds go back to a non-profit, group, school or charity, but come on, people still want value for money for something “different.”

Where’s the customer service, or are football fans so die-hard that they’re willing to forgo customer experience for the sake of just getting in the door and parking their bums on a seat?

The whole group has to arrive before they can all go in, so heaven help any group in the dilemma of someone who can’t make it in time, I have no idea what happens to them.  I suspect the Dons Day Out was just a way to fill the stadium for the Celtic V Aberdeen match last week, and the boys reported back on many groups arriving with their paper-thin T-Shirts proudly on display.

Rather than a blow up hand, I suspect the kids would prefer a new scarf, pen, or slightly longer lasting momento, but c’est la vie, I can live with that.

Once their whole group were there, the promised group photo with the cheque being presented for the school funds for half the proceeds was shortened to a quick usher in the doors, and the first few through hurriedly being in a photo before the rest of the group got to their seats.

Far from being the posed photo that eldest remembered and still treasures, the closest to Angus the Bull they got was their dad taking his own photographs on his mobile camera.

The promised photo of a group shot with Angus the Bull at their stand didn’t seem to happen.  If it did, they didn’t even know about it, and part of me hopes that it did happen and will materialise somewhere down the line.

The Dons Day Out might be a good day out at a smaller match, but on the big matches, I’d give it a miss and just go as a regular supporter.  Littlest had nothing to gauge it against, so he thought it was great, though he was disappointed as he was expecting to see a player or two.

So, really, how much would it have cost to have a couple of players out on parade and get some photos with the kids?

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Warner Bros. Halloween Box for 2012, including Ultraviolet

Alas, our Halloween box for 2012 was a little late, so I couldn’t do a lovely thank you on the 31st October to Warner Bros.   It didn’t matter for the kids as they were still highly delighted with the box of goodies.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it that kids never get too old for things like Scooby Doo and Ben 10, even if they pretend they are.

We have a birthday boy on Guy Fawkes night, so the boys are saving their bottles of bubbles for then.  Thank you Warner Bros. for remembering I have three boys and for sending three bottles of bubble maker.

The movies that my boys are going to enjoy for middlers birthday are:

  • Lego Hero Factory – Savage Planet
  • Tom and Jerry – Trick & Treats
  • Ben 10 – Destroy All Aliens
  • Big Top Scooby Doo – Original Movie

The boys have decided the cat mask was a little too girly, so it is being donated to our local special needs school, along with the Lego Hero Factory movie after my boys have watched it.

That means something for the girls, and something for the boys.  I’m sure they will absolutely love a wee gift.

Our box was missing the stickers so we couldn’t make any Halloween cards, but the boys didn’t know the stickers were meant to be there, so they’re still chuffed to bits with movies, sweets and bubbles.

A couple of the movies have Ultraviolet, which is new to me.  Ultraviolet says that the movie can be instantly streamed and downloaded with instant access to the movies on computers, tablets and smartphones.   It can also be shared with up to 5 friends or family members.  I signed up by using Facebook to join Flixter and then was able to download the movie.

Adding a movie to a new account was pretty simple, and it means that I can play it on my iPhone, iPad, Android devices, and store it in the cloud.    There are apps on iTunes and Android markets to get to our movies, so it seems a much easier way that actually taking up loads of space on our devices to keep them there.

Playback looks easy enough, so it seems a great way to keep movies to hand to watch over 3G or wifi.  I had no idea this even existed, and I can imagine I will look out for it in future.

Thank you again to Warner Bros.  Your packages always make for a lovely surprise arriving at our door.   If anyone is interested in buying any of the movies, they are all available on Amazon, at really good prices.

 

 

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The Gallery – Frightfully Over

(Sadly I had to remove the image from this blog post as it was being hotlinked to from a Chinese website where the man said they were his kids).

I’m actually quite sad that my kids are not really wanting to do much of the Halloween type things this year.  I can probably safely say that they won’t go Trick or Treating – or Guising as we call it up here for too much longer.

Yes, eldest and littler might go their own ways, and yes, middler is probably going to want to do it until he’s 25, but other people wouldn’t understand a big kid knocking on their door and enthusiastically reciting a joke like:

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. Because it’s Christmas next week.

Eldests costume had middler in tears for about half an hour before we ventured out, and there were very few people going from door to door.   A few doors asked us to take as many sweets as they could carry as they’d not seen any guisers.

It was absolutely freezing, so I can totally understand why.

Needless to say, we didn’t stay out long, and only managed two streets before littlest and I put our feet down and made the other two join us in heading home.  Entrepreneurial eldest and middler were all for cashing in on the lack of door knockers and would have stayed out much much longer…..

Here they are, my Frightful Kids.

 

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The Gallery – Books

I thought I’d join in the Gallery Blog Link Up this week.  It’s been a long week and a half off school with the kids, and they’re going a bit stir crazy as they’re grounded.  One thing that can always help to diffuse things with the special needs middler is to sit and read a book to him, but not the bread makers bible, obviously.  That’s me putting a book out of sight in a hurry I’d guess.  I can’ really remember.

It’s all his own choice.  Sometimes he’ll let you, and other times he won’t.   Our books are more than dog-eared, they’re often trashed and ripped.   I grew up to respect and revere books as something special, so accepting damage to books is something I have had to learn to live with.

My kids books don’t get packed away, or sent onto anyone else after my kids are finished with them.  They are so well used here, that they end up in the bin if they last.  This book has an awful lot to answer for with pre-teen behaviour, I can tell ya.

I think the one advantage of an 11-year-old who can’t read is that the books are read again and again and again and again, and then some more.

I always have a stack of books, even when my Kindle is still full.  My mum has a pile of mine that I am waiting to get back, and this is the stack that I am planning on reading next.  I’ve managed to have the house bookcase full of work things so now books have nowhere to go. They are in cupboards, drawers and in the bottoms of wardrobes.  I am much better at giving my books away and my neighbour always has a stack of ones I’ve not read.

I love my kindle apps, but there are times I just want a good old-fashioned paper book to read.

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Country Kids & The New Allotment

For Country Kids this week, I thought a picture of the fledgling family allotment would be a good idea.  The man’s friend has had an allotment for a while, and the one next to his became available.  It’s not much money a year, so he decided to take the plunge and take on the overgrown eyesore next to his pal.

As the man helped his pal clear his allotment, he now has to return the favour on ours.

Some tree roots needed dug out, and old carpets seem to have been sewn into the land, and need digging up.   So, the pair of them along with 5 kids descended on the patch of over – run ground and got stuck in.

The two smallest kids were more interested in work watching, so I don’t think they did very much, but the bigger kids all had to take their turn at the spade.  I am hoping that they will be lovely and tired tonight.

There’s a musty old shed that needs taking down, so I’m sure that will be replaced by a new shed he builds himself after a while.  In the meantime, he is using his friend’s one which is much better.

 

 

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Chocolate is GOOD FOR YOU

Unwrapping a lovely gift for my birthday, I eagerly opened the layers while anticipating a nice box of perfume or a little trinket.   Three faces beaming with delight stood in front of me, and I kept the smile frozen on my face as the last layer came adrift, to the sight of my favourite bar of chocolate – a HUGE one.  My heart sank to my boots and I instantly fought to find words to thank them, and give them all a huge kiss for.  Inside, I felt like weeping at the thought of another two inches on my hips.

Opening it up right away, I snapped sections off and handed the kids all one each.  They ran for little plastic bags from the kitchen and dropped their slabs into protective wrapping before slinking off into the sunset.  I was relieved that I had managed to hand out so much of the bar.

Is chocolate really that bad for us, or is it just that people don’t want us to actually enjoy something that does something with the endorphins in our brains that makes us think we’ve done a 12 mile run.   How have I managed to give myself such a guilt trip over eating one thing that I really do enjoy?

The guilt comes on with one square or ten squares.  If I eat it, I feel annoyed with myself, and I don’t think I am alone in that.

Why is chocolate good for us?

The Guardian reported that “A study by the German Institute of Human nutrition found that flavanols from cocoa boost the body’s supply of nitric oxide, which helps to lower blood pressure.”  I take that to mean eating chocolate is not all bad, even if it’s not dark chocolate.  One point to me.  By eating one square of regular chocolate a day, could I really be reducing my risk of stroke or heart attack?  That sounds like a nice prescription.

They reported the study from the European Heart Journal that flavanols in cocoa are the reason for the reduced blood pressure, and strokes could be reduced by the increase of blood around the brain.

1,568 people were studied, of which, 57% ate milk chocolate, 24% ate dark and 2% ate white chocolate.

Chocolate to excess!

Sadly, the study showed that the benefits were from eating a smallish amount of chocolate as part of the daily diet.   I am more convinced that it would be healthier to have just a few squares a day, but that isn’t easy to do when it’s just sitting there, looking at you and begging to be eaten.

Yes, chocolate is very high in calories, with upwards of 500 calories per hundred grams, so it’s not something that can be eaten without any thought at all.  We all know the damage that eating too many treats can do to our bodies, but some of us just can’t stop.

Why do we crave sweet things ?

Imagine a world where someone with foresight and creative ability found a safe way to avoid sugar cravings.  I, along with my craving affected sisters, would instantly transform them into a being of ever lasting hero worship, making them an overnight billionaire, and more famous than Mrs and Mrs Beckham.

In the real world, we have to do what we can.

Giving in to a sugar craving can send us into a downward spiral where the need to have something sweet takes over our lives.  We satisfy that need with some sugar and our bodies tell us to eat some more.  I have no idea why some of our bodies seem to work so sadly against us, but it is a constant fight to retain some semblance of normality and reducing the sugar need.

How to avoid sugar cravings.

A chocolate bar can be anything up to about 50% (and more) just of sugar.

It’s all about understanding the carbs !!!!  I know this, yet I still struggle, but it’s good to remind myself.   The good carbs will help us keep sugar cravings to a minimum.   Starches like vegetables and cereals do this by breaking down the carbs slowly, and not allowing the blood sugar to get to abnormal levels.

Some tricks to try and help reduce cravings are:

  • Look at the food we eat.  Processed food tends to be quite high in refined sugars, and might be hidden under names like, lactose, dextrose, fructose etc.
  • If you drink tea and coffee and use sugar, gradually cut down the amount of sugar you use, until you can stop altogether.  It really doesn’t take long before the taste of a hot drink with sugar will turn your stomach.
  • In general, white flour and rice has been processed.  Try to replace them with whole grain versions.  Do this by mixing the white with whole grain until you get the taste for it.
  • Try to eat regularly.  Skipping meals can make us more hungry when we do start to eat, and drop our blood sugar levels to increase cravings.  I struggle with this one as I am fine until I start eating in a day.  If I could just stop eating, like an alcoholic can just stop drinking, then I’d have no problem with controlling my weight.
  • Eat fruit and vegetables to replace sugary snacks.   Common sense, but I find there are days when I just can’t get the fruit I would like.
  • I’ve seen the recommendations to use a sugar substitute.   All I can say about that is “bleurgh.”  I’d rather do without than add a substitute.  I’ve used Agave Syrup and Stevia for the kids and cooking quite a bit.  They don’t seem to notice, so I’ll carry on with that.

Chocolate is GOOD FOR YOU? 

Perhaps if I can change my mindset into thinking and believing that chocolate really is good for me, it will lose the love / hate relationship I now have with it.  I want to enjoy eating it, and be able to control how much of a bar I eat.

My new mantra…

Chocolate is good for you, chocolate is good for you, chocolate is good for you, chocolate is good for you, chocolate IS good for you.