Category: Family

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School Trips and Gadgets – Opinions Please??

I am all for school trips and I think they are good for children, but there are times when I wonder if schools really have lost the plot.   They seem to think that pupils’ parents have a never ending pot of money to spend out.

I don’t mind the triple whammy of:

  1. cinema outings & shows
  2. museum and event trips
  3. sun cream
  4. uniform
  5. school shoes
  6. gym shoes
  7. gym kit
  8. book fairs (well I do, but that’s another story, more aimed at the people who organise and man the stalls)
  9. toy fairs (I might talk about that this week as well since it is relevant tomorrow)
  10. xmas present shelves
  11. xmas cards (sending a pack home your child has drawn and pretty much holding a gun to your head to buy them) 
  12. dinner lady white tickets you have to pay for, even if you gave your child a packed lunch that day.

 I can forgive almost all of those as ideas that might be appropriate, if they were dealt with slight modifications to how some of them are done at the moment.

My oldest was away with the school for 1 night in April.  It cost £85 and they had to be given £15 spending money.  

A couple of months later, they want another £300 for him to go for a 5 night residential sports outing.   On top of that, there will be spending money and lots of other clothes etc.

I can take my whole family away in the caravan for a fortnight for that price.  I have said no, that he is not going on the trip.    This now makes my son the odd one out, as it seems that out of a year of 70 odd primary children, he is the only one not going.  To top that off, he has also been given £5.00 to take home to start a car wash / baking initiative to help grow that fiver to take a little of the cost down for those who are going.  He has been included in it, even though he is not going.  He is asking the teacher if he is going to be allowed to keep anything above the £5 he earns since he is not going.

I am immensely proud of my boy for how he has taken not going away with his class.  My reasons are not purely monetary, as on the last trip away for the night, they put with two boys who are much more streetwise.   They proceeded to describe 18 horror films in-depth and I guess you can get the picture, along with the not doing anything your parents say as it’s “your life”.    He came home after one night away and it took us all about a month to recover and reset the boundaries.   I am not ready to go through that again. 

Then comes the news that the kids are all going to be issued IPad 2’s next year, which all parents will have to pay for on a monthly subscription.  Now understand, that all the kids have been told they are going to get these things, and nobody has asked the parents if they are willing to pay for it.   I have two children at that school, so that will be about £25 – 30 month they want me to pay (and have told my kids they will get).   My boys are coming home more and more excited at when it is all going to happen, and all I know is that I am going to be expected to find about £360 a year for something we hadn’t planned for.  

I have decided that the ipad2 are more important long-term, given the way the school plans using them than one week of activities.  I am budgeting for affording that, and our trips away which we need as a family with high needs children.

Logically I do know it is the right decision for us as a family, but why, oh why, do I feel so guilty for not letting him go on that trip?

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What age is appropriate for pierced ears ?

Many of you won’t have come across this issue yet.    It is one that has many parents from all walks of life debating on the rights and wrongs, or the reasons for and against.

I am against and I also have pierced ears. 

So why, oh why did I agree to boyo here getting an ear pierced when he was 10 years old ?

Lets look at it this way.  Boyo spends a lot of his life missing out on things that he should be able to take part in as he has a brother with a disability.    He spends his life defending his brother on one hand, while also feeling resentful and upset at what he misses out on.

He really, really wanted his ear pierced, and because I say no to so many things that he asks to do, I had to think hard.  I skirted around the subject for a couple of weeks, saying neither yes, or no.  I exaggerated how painful it was to get done and regaled him of tales of festering, pain and misery.   One day I looked at his face, animated as it was while he was asking for this one thing from me.  I realised that it  is not an issue at all.   This was one thing that I could say yes to, and make him happy.

Some people may not like it, and I certainly don’t.   It did however give him a massive boost to his confidence and his face has beamed with pride wearing his ear-ring since the day it was done.   For his confidence, it was worth every second of disapproving looks that come our way.  If he needs to, he can take it out for jobs and interviews as he grows older, and he may decide on his own to remove it. 

He knows it will be the one ear-ring and I am not going to agree to multiple piercings.  Having the ear done has certainly done away with any talk of future piercings in other bodily places.

Was it the right thing to do?  Yes it was.  It’s a non-issue. 

A twitter pal said to me that she couldn’t argue with her daughters request for pierced ears with just the reason that mum didn”t like it.  I agree with that.  There are soo many other battles that need to be won in the parenting department, that are actually important. 

Then it comes down to the appropriate age. 

  • I am glad the issue didn’t come up pre 10.
  • I am glad my other two don’t want an ear pierced.
  • I am glad I don’t face the girl child debate for both ears done pre-school.    

I will never forget my mums words as I grew up pleading for my ears to be pierced. 
“If you were meant to have holes in your body, then you’d have been born with them.”

Well lets see.  If we were meant to wear make up.  If we were meant to dye our hair.  If we were meant to wear high heels.  If we were meant to be free of underarm hair.  If we were meant to have a tan.   Where does it start and where does it stop?

What do you think?  Where do you sit on the piercing debate?

I certainly don’t know what the “right” age to have a piercing is.  I don’t think there is one.

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Another Big Idea – Fruit and Veg – Grow Yer Ain

I really have no idea what came over me, but I have decided to have a go at growing a few bits and bobs.   It all started out in Sainsburys with their little tubs for childen to grow strawberries and tomatoes.  They’re cute, they’re sweet, and after a little humming and heying, I went for it.   The kids were actually quite excited about it all and with serious faces, they all took their turn, and we now have some little seeds in pots waiting to grow before I put them outside.

 My boys really did enjoy doing these.  Putting in the little pellets, and seeing them grow to fill the pots as they added the water was surprising.  I really didn’t think that they would enjoy it at their age.    The sticks were duly written on with the date and the type of seed on it.  I am just hoping that they are as keen to keep looking after the plants once they begin to come through.

The only problem for me is, that once I start getting into things, I tend to take them to completely over the top levels, so I have been out shopping for more.  First in line was a few seeds to add to a new propagator.  Sweetcorn, melon, and peas have made their way to teensy little pots that we are watering and checking by the hour for signs of growth.

Whats next for my boys and I?  More plantlings, that’s for sure.  We had lots of fun sorting, picking and watering the seeds.  They are interested in them because they feel responsible for starting them off.

Wish us luck…….

That some of the seeds grow ……………

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Potty Training – What do I wish I had known?

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How many parents have read Gina Ford, or other parenting bibles, and instantly felt their hearts sinking in despair at what an awful mother / father they are? 

Looking back on it, what do I wish I had known about potty training??    NADA, NOWT, NOTHING    I wish I had never bought a parenting book.  I wish I had never listened to all the “I potty trained my daughter at 9 months, look how clever we are na na na na na brigade, as they look down their expensively designed sunglasses, and flutter their pretend real lashes.” 

What do the “experts” know about baby development anyway?     

The majority of the ones who tried to give me advice on my children were childless, or had children without special needs, and their experience was theoretical, or  based on their babysitting skills with relatives and friends children.   I really didn’t know ANY other mums back then. 

I look back and wonder why I listened to “the experts”.  I wonder why I felt so inadequate when I couldn’t get my children to fit into these moulds that society was telling me that they should have slotted into.    I couldn’t understand why my round pegs didn’t fit into the neat square boxes that made up the whole of the “right” way to parent a child, and ensure they were raised to be happy and healthy.

My biggest bugbear was the toilet training lark.  No1 was a blur.   He was potty training while I was learning to juggle two others in nappies and he had to come off them for my sanity.  I have no idea how long it took to do, and that was pre parental bible bowing and scraping, but I don’t remember it being that long.

Being a challenge to change nappies so often, I bought several parental tomes.  I decided to take their advice and I began potty training N02 when he turned 18 months.   Much ado with praise, bribery, silly high pitched voices,  mucho clapping and clever boying.     

 I would sit No2 on the potty, and try to change the nappy of No3.  Before I knew it, No2 would be running along the corridor, weeing on the way.  No3 would then giggle and whip off his happy to join in.  I’d catch No2 and sit him back down, he would then get back up, put him back, up he got.  Yo-yo city.  It was the single most stressful thing I remember as a parent.   To all of you who potty trained in a few weeks, and think you have been dealt a hard blow, get over yourselves – it is your child who was ready. 

No3 I was fit for.  I couldn’t face the potty training so “drum roll please,”  I just didn’t bother, AT ALL   I put it off, and off, and off, and off.   It was getting dangerously close to the time when he should have been starting nursery, and I was beginning to get to the slightly panicky stage that he might not get to go, but I needn’t have worried. 

At the age of nearly 3, he duly saw a friends child go to the toilet, and he decided he would never wear a nappy again.   He didn’t use a potty, and went straight to a toilet.  It was so easy, I could write a book on potty training. 

What do I say to the rule books?  

GO AWAY

You’re a waste of time and money, and people could be playing with their children rather than reading up on whether they might or might not be doing things the “right” way.

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Fridge Contents

Thanks to @melaina25 for tagging me.    I am loving rooting through other peoples fridges. 

Looking at the contents of my fridge is just that little bit scary at the moment.    Oh yes, we have 6 people who live here (does that excuse it?).

OK, listing the contents really scares me.  Here goes:

In the fridge Door

2 x 4 pints semi skimmed milk, carton pure orange juice, bottle of pear sparkling juice, carton tesco long life double cream, 2 x cartons lactose free milk, bottle calpol, bottle chesty cough medicine, bottle of Benadryl, Tesco lighter than light mayonnaise and eggs.

In the main body of the fridge
Elmlee cream, Hellmans mayonnaise, Very lazy caremalised red onions, garlic puree, carton tomato passata, sachet black bean sauce, carton lactose free milk, jar beetroot, Aero Bubble Deserts (sorry @kateab), 3 x packs lactose free cheese, cheese slices, mild cheddar cheese,  cheese strings, pack puff pastry, kids smarties chocolate egg (honestly), cherry tomatoes, strawberries, wafer thin chicken, wafer thin ham, coleslaw, yoghurts, 4 packs tesco brussels light pate, 3 x dairy lee cheese spread tubs, lurpack butter, beef dripping, sausage rolls, pork pies, sticky barbeque ribs, mini savoury eggs, orange capri suns, remains of yesterdays sausage casserole, bottle of water, tub of cauliflower and irish cheddar soup, stork and tesco soft spread for baking, 30 eggs, 2 x soda stream bottles chilling, beef tomatoes, 2 x melons and a few apples.

I am tagging @stephc007 @plasticrosaries @mrs_moog @mummylion

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I’ve Been Tagged – Find Out More About Me…

I thought I had missed the mass tagging, although I had quite enjoyed reading some.

The Q&A tag came from @nickie72 and her blog Typecast 

It started one day when Mrs Lister,  set out to find out about her fellow bloggers, using the same format as is used in the Guardian Q&A when they interview celebs.

You want to know more about me – here goes……
———————————–

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My mum.  She battled cancer, thyroid disease, Type 1 Diabetes, Arthritis and much much more –  and still comes up smiling at 76.
When were you happiest?
When I was a student.  I remember the dreams, the goals, the excitement, the socialising, the life.   Ahhh, memories !!!!!!!
What was your most embarrassing moment?
When I was in the chemist with my three kids, a dad was there with his two kids.  At the counter, was a woman asking for eye drops.  The chemist proceeds to tell her that it is very infectious.  The dad standing with his kids takes a step backwards and opens his eyes wide.  I look over at him and laugh at the reaction, but unfortunately catch his eye.  He shrinks back even more in horror, and I realise that instead of realising I was laughing at his horror of “very infectious”, he thinks I am flirting with him.   I am mortified in the way that only women over 40 can be as he is obviously offended by it.
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
Probably our home from home on four wheels.  I do love the peg.
What is your most treasured possession?
I have my grandmothers engagement ring, and my mothers photographs..  I love those.
Where would you like to live?
Somewhere warmer than Scotland.  Anywhere would do.
What’s your favourite smell?
My kids after a bath.  Next would be fresh strawberries and ground coffee.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Isla Fischer
What is your favourite book?
I have dozens of favourites.   It is soo hard to choose for this one.  I loved the Master and Commander film and the whole series of books by Patrick O’Brien about life on the ocean waves.  I read them ALL.  I bet that surprised you all.  Next would be the Hornblower novels.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Eating too much and tweeting.
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
I have a maids outfit that I put together with some old clothes and the underskirt of my wedding dress.  It does a treat, and has been borrowed several times by other people.
What is your earliest memory?
My earliest memory sadly is one of being sent to my room for going to the local shop and saying I wanted an ice lolly and that my mother would pay for it later.  All my friends had money for one, and we were skint.  I got home with it, caught by mother and was sent to my bed with ice lolly in hand and had to eat it or it would have  melted across the floor.   I wish it was a nice one, but there you to.  I very rarely got into trouble, so that was obviously a biggie for me.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Writing drivel that I hope some people might like.
What do you owe your parents?
To my father, thank you for the sperm donation.  To my mother, thank you for everything else.  You rock.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my grandparents for not spending enough time with them when they were alive.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My kids and my animals.
What does love feel like?
Responsibility, guilt, wishes, protection, care and time.
What was the best kiss of your life?
My first kiss, in my classroom aged 5.  I still remember feeling his lips on my cheek lol.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Stop fighting – 3 boys *saynomore*
That’ll be shining bright – whenever any of my brood tells me a porkie.
Okay dokey – though I am working hard on phasing this one out.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Night shift at photo factory, while working day shift in bookies when I was at college.  I was perma exhausted, and it was soo boring that I could hardly keep my eyes open.  Many people would have ended up with negatives cut halfway across the picture frame as I was too tired to stop the cutters in time when it misaligned.  If that was your treasured photos *sorry*.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
The age I had kids.  But then I wouldn’t have the ones I have, so moot point.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
I once spun off a road in my car, ended upside down in a field with a post skewering the passenger seat.  Luckily I didn’t have a passenger, and I walked away with only the dunt from undoing my seatbelt when I was upside down and not realising.
Another time, helicopter I was travelling in lost power miles from anywhere in middle of north sea in choppy weather – we dropped from the air and  it was a frightening few seconds before the  pilot restarted the engines again.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being a mum.  It was a hard road.
When did you last cry, and why?
After an operation.    It hurt.
How do you relax?
Twitter, walking the dog, writing, reading.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Not being a food addict.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
I was exceptionally lucky to be born in a developed country with a caring  mother.
I am tagging
@netcurtains who likes a meme
@123andbreathe because she wants to
@meetjosmith for being a good sport and
@the_moiderer  for living within an hours drive
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A Birthday Present

Here is what the men in my life gave me for my birthday. It’s definitely not the Ipad2 I was hinting for.

They sent me packing to the shower block while they set up what they bought for me.

– Two little bunches of flowers.
– Ferrero Rocher AND Maltesers.
– A lovely cake and balloons.
– A Tesco best Easter bunny.
– Pile of balloons.

Reality check. I am not into fluffy soft toys, chocolate makes me ill but I can’t help eating it so it keeps me fat. And we are in a touring caravan for a week so surface space is precious.

Let’s get down to basics. I suspect the Easter bunny is for youngest, the Ferrero Rochers are for dad, cake for the kids and I know the balloons are for playing outside, so that leaves me with the maltesers and the flowers.

I have hugged the kids to bits for arranging it all, and I will thoroughly enjoy the extra half inch which is going to settle on my hips this evening!!!!!!!!

Ps. I must improve my hinting skills this year.

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