Little Monkey – Book Shop 4 Kids
The winner of the £20 of books from Joanna from Little Monkey – Bookshop 4 Kids is
@bobbity666 (Lou Strachan)
Lou, if you would like to DM me your contact details, I will send them over to Louise from Little Monkey.
Author: Mum Scottish
Abuse at Winterburn View, Castlebeck (Panorama) It Needs MORE Than Arrests
Anyone who knows me is going to know what I am going to say about this hospital. The abuse at Winterburn View, the Castlebeck Private Hospital has shaken me considerably. These abused people are CHILDREN. They are in big bodies, but they are CHILDREN. Picture your two, or three, or four year old being treated like that.
I came home from a fabulous show last night, watching the Shaolin Warriors in Aberdeen (blog post later in the week), and saw some tweets in my inbox about a Panorama Programme that had made people cry. I also got the impression that it involved special needs and vulnerable adults with learning difficulties and autism. Watch the programme on Iplayer HERE
I quickly booted up BBC Iplayer at 1am and began watching. It was riveting viewing, and once I had switched it on, I couldn’t switch it off again. It was very much more than I had expected when I began to watch. The extent of the abuse shown on the documentary had me speechless. I thought they might be talking about a few punches, a couple of isolated asssaults, and that would have been bad enough – but the extent of it, I have no words to express. The lad who carried the cameras has stamina and strength to be able to keep going back and into that environment. Thank goodness for his perseverance to help those vulnerable people, who are hopefully all now safe.
How those abused people felt, I cannot even begin to imagine. The final scenes with Simone were so bad that it makes me despair. Our children tend not to tell the truth, or not know the difference between truth and fantasy, so I can fully understand her parents dilemma when she told them she was being attacked, and they didn’t believe her. Special needs children suffer from the boy who cried wolf too often. How her parents feel now, knowing that on this occasion she was telling them what was actually happening to her, rather than imagining something from watching a film or playing a video nasty I have no idea. I do know that they will never forgive themselves for it.
The Care Quality Commission (CTC) quite frankly seemed toothless. They came across as paying lip service to form filling and happy with well behaved staff once the door was unlocked to the locked wards. There was no evidence of activity schedules, or plans for moving back to the general public (from the documentary) – yet, they thought that was nothing to be concerned about. That should have raised a country sized red flag. And as for not taking notice of the complaints made by a respected member of staff in the field, Terry Bryan – it shows how little anyone really cared.
One programme later, and it all comes out of the woodwork. Castlebeck should be taken to account for this. It is NOT enough to say they are “sorry,” or they are “ashamed”. If they cared, they would have investigated before they were publically held to account by Panorama.
It is NOT the sole blame of the carers behaving badly here – it is the management of the home who allowed the environment to move in that direction. And while I am at it, where were the social workers under whose charge the patients should have been assisted? Why aren’t social workers head rolling on this as well? Why was the ward locked with no family allowed in or out? That speaks volumes. The doctors who must have been aware of unrealistic levels of accidents, bruises, injuries and trauma, but turned a blind eye.
Bored special needs people will strop, they will have tantrums, and they will use language without thinking of the consequences at the time. Punishment does not lead to better behaviour, or make them think before they act in the future.
I am horrified that Castlebeck have so many other establishments out there. I just hope there are responsible staff in those.
I am not niave enough to think that Winterburn View is the only place in the UK where vulnerable people are being abused, but I do expect the watchdogs to be on top of them, and keep it to a minimum. Some of the abuse they suffered on camera had the potential to kill. It was systematic, targetted, and daily. How could they miss that?
As a parent of a special needs child who will grow up into a special needs adult, and who might at some stage in his life, need adult care outwith the home for extended periods of time – I am sick to the stomach.
Yes, those of you who are parents of neuro typicals are going to see that it’s shocking, distressing, and that it shouldn’t happen, but social care is never actually going to be something that you have to consider, or be subject to for your children.
We are knocking on the door of respite for the first time ever, and as a family we need it to start to cope with him long term at home.
The thought that my most vulnerable child could suffer at the hands of bullies like that is already making me think twice about where he goes. He is growing up and needs to see more of the world outside his home cocoon, so I work though it.
As a grown up, I have to be realistic, and try to see the good in people. Sadly, through circumstances, potential and his educational experience, all I see is the potential for harm. When any male teacher, or charity worker deals with us, I don’t think “nice man”. I look, smile, ask questions, engage them in conversation, and through gritted teeth, accept that I must trust him. I do look, and I try VERY HARD to find something that makes me uneasy about him (or her). When he leaves with a carer, my heart beats fast, and I panic fleetingly in case I have just handed my child over to a psychopath.
I also know, that if the day comes that my son accuses one of his carers of hitting him, I am not going to know if it is the truth, or if he is imagining a film he saw ten years earlier, or if it was a dream that has upset him. The only thing I would be able to do is remove him from the carer, as leaving a situation like that until proof was found could be too late. What about when we are no longer able to look after his interests. Then, he is at the mercy of strangers, social workers, doctors, management and staff.
- Our world saddens me.
- My lack of trust in strangers, neighbours and friends saddens me.
- I don’t know how to live with that fear.
- We must live with that fear and we must trust strangers, neighbours and friends if we are to have fulfilling lives.
- We must live with the consequences.
- We must make it better for those who are still in places like Winterburn View.
- We must reach out and help those who cannot help themselves.
- We must NOT turn a blind eye.
I am not relieved that these patients have been moved to “safety”. I am sick to my stomach about it. Physically.
Their lives will now never be healed. They will mostly lack the ability to reason that the danger has now passed. The rest of their lives will be spent in fear.
Will they be moved to a place that is any safer?
How many other “Winterburns” are there out there?
And before I end this – what do I think of the reporter that did not intervene during that last horrific day of abuse in fear of blowing his cover? I love him for outing it, but also can’t understand why he didn’t immediately go to the police. What about the BBC who allowed it to keep going until the programme aired – they also fostered allowing it to happen for those days.
I would like to think the last footage was filmed on Sunday, someone please tell me that was what happened.
UPDATE:
I have just heard that filming was Feb / March. That also saddens me. That was another 2 whole months after this footage was taken – BEFORE they were rescued.
Bloggers With Excellent Posts
Benefit Scrounging Scum – Imagine You Were Four #panorama
The Small Places – Last Nights Panarama – Anatomy of a Scandal
A Boy With Aspergers – Behind Closed Doors
Gagging Orders / Superinjunctions
I really don’t care at all about the supposed footballer and his inability to stay faithful to his wife. It is sad to say, that if we, (the general public) were to judge by the frequency of news stories and infidelity, it seems almost an expectation of the job WAG.
I don’t understand the argument about the unfairness of him silencing the girl because he could afford to. She knew what she was getting into. She wasn’t hoodwinked into believing he was young, free, and single.
What does bother me is the ridiculous effect it is having on the perception of us as a country.
Someone needs to explain to me how someone can be prosecuted, or jailed for telling “the truth” about someone, when they have not been part of the injunction, nor have been notified that they are under the order.
The media, I can understand. The woman silenced, I can understand. But don’t the people who are subject to the order need to be personally notified of what they are not allowed to talk about? Doesn’t that then mean the injunction breaks the law?
How can you personally notify millions of people all over the world that they are subject to an injunction, because then you have to tell them what they are not allowed to talk about. I missed my personal mailing. I wonder if anyone else got one.
And how can twitter reveal the users of the accounts when you can register using throwaway email addresses. You can use web cafes’ and unregistered mobile phones. Wouldn’t those first few pioneers in the dishing the dirt have stayed untraceable?
The lawyers and the courts are making us into laughing stocks with these orders. Now the tax payer is also going to have to fund the costs of upholding these empty orders.
What a waste.
I think about the care that has been taken away from our worlds abused, disadvantaged and disabled, and consider the publicly earned money that these piece of dross legal gravy trains are are going to cost us, and that makes me very angry indeed.
Operation Overtime
It’s over. The operation is done. I am home, and not able to eat and drink much is doing wonders for the size of my backside (not fast enough though). The nose op is past, and I am looking forward to being able to breathe through both nostrils properly again. A bone spur removed, the septoplasty done, debris from past damage cleared out, and sinus flush.
I could really have been done without the surgeon coming to see me 15 minutes before the op to tell me that just under 1 in 100 of these ops go wrong, and the consequences are devastating, ie brain damage. Now that sent me into total overdrive, my face went puce, and I could feel the flush raise to my ears. I nearly bottled the op there and then, but I suspected the odds were not quite what they should have been. If I had really thought the odds were 1 in 100, I would have definitely, got up, changed out of my gown and headed for the nearest door as fast as I could run.
I pretended not to hear, went down to theatre, the surgeon apologised for causing me last-minute stress, and offered me laughing gas to get the needle in the back of my hand, which I pathetically and gratefully accepted.
Home after the op on the day, I felt fine. I watched a film, chilled out and rested. They must have given me some gooooood pain relief. Day 2 and I was floored. The failure of operation germ avoidance kicked in and added a cold with sore ears to the mix of sore nose, oozing gunge, and throat and voice gone.
The headache is awful, and the hospital don’t send you home with enough saline sniff packs, syringes to do it with, or nose bandage things, as believe me, there is a LOT of gunge comes out.
The nurse in the ward was lovely, and my kids have been strangely behaving reasonably well. I have a purple nose, only one slightly black eye, and I think I am doing not too badly.
Image: Michelle Meiklejohn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I would have to say though, that I once had a big open laparotomy (where they split open your belly) and that was much more pleasant in the aftermath than this is. Off to drown headache with water and prescribed drugs.
Yours Wimpishly Pathetically
Scottish Mum
Operation Germ Avoidance
I had arranged a twitter meet up with my first ever real life tweeter for last week. When that was cancelled, I decided that avoiding all crowds between then and this coming week would be sensible. I decided not to go to kids club, football, or any public places where breathing in germs was more likely.
Just to make matters worse, on Friday, middle son decided to wake up with a cold. In typical “manflu” fashion, he is walking around the house, and delving into everything and anything in his annoyance at feeling slightly out of sorts. Trying to keep my distance from him is an operation of gargantuan proportions. I keep asking him to sit across the room from me, but not having school (long story), he is used to being beside me all the time, and coming over to talk to me. He has a habit of talking right up at my face. I’m putting my hand across my face, and he thinks it’s hugely funny.
At each sneeze, I send him through to wash his hands and then chase him around the house and wipe the door handles with dettol wipes. My paranoia has reached epic proportions and I am tempted to go out and buy one of those non-helpful face masks that cover your nose and mouth.
At the supper table last night, lovely “manflu” child decided to drink out of my glass when my back was turned getting seconds for my youngest. I felt hugely relieved, and very smug that I spotted his deadly germ spreading efforts, and didn’t then go and finish my drink while ingesting the remnants of his germ filled saliva.
Why am i in operation germ avoidance?
Well, this is my second attempt to have the surgery that has been scheduled. I got a bad cold at the last attempt, and had to cancel the day before the op. The op is actually no big deal. I seemingly had a broken nose, or a big thump on it when I was young, and the damage inside my nose has meant that the nostril is closing up over time. I also have really bad sinus problems, so while they are in repairing the damage, I will be getting a sinus flush out.
I took it in my stride when I was told I was going to be operated on at first, and didn’t think much about it – UNTIL – the nurse told me it was a 2.5 – 3 hour operation. For some reason, I was expecting just a quick half hour and then back out and on with my day. I just about fell off my seat in the shock. Having an op on your face that is going to last 2.5 – 3 hours has turned me into a quaking germ avoiding wimp.
I’m dreading beginning the signs of cold, infection, flu, or anything else that might cancel the op this time round, as that means, they will either think that I am deliberately cancelling at short notice, and give up on me, or I have to do the lead up time all over again.
Which is why I have to post this, as I have just finished gargling and scrubbing like mad after my lovely son decided to come right up to my face to tell me something and delivered the biggest, most snot and germ throwing sneeze you can ever imagine right into my face.
Operation germ avoidance is a #fail.
Handmade Candles – Smelly Heaven – Candlemaking for Mummy Bloggers
It’s about time I introduced one of my hobbies – my smelly heaven of candlemaking. I absolutely love the scents and smells of burning candles. Spring, Summer, Autumn, or Winter, I love, love, love them.
I started out by buying the ready mades you get in supermarkets, but they just didn’t cut it for me. They either burned right down the middle, or they burned too fast, or the scent was just awful.
I soon cottoned onto the partylite / yankee type candles which burn pretty well, and smell pretty good as well. The only thing was, that the amount of candles I wanted to burn, I pretty much would have had to rob a bank to pay for my growing habit.
My next step was to move onto looking into how to make them for myself. My first attempts at candlemaking were a complete and utter disaster if I am honest. They either ended up too large, or too small wicks, or the wrong mix of scent to wax, and then I CRACKED IT.
I found myself a fabulous formula for my wax and additives, and my candles all turn out fantastically. I even make them with soy, and potter about decorating some of them. I will put up more pictures over time of things I make, and how to get the best out of the ones you buy, but for now, this is just an introduction to my “hobby”.
If anyone is interested, I may even give you the recipes for some easy start candles to make yourself. Apologies for the dark photographs as the only camera I had on hand this morning was my phone.
Foetal Alcohol in Newborn Babies – Do you know the possibilities?
I have had much to do with this issue recently. I am aware of the effects, the guidance and the common sense. Having never been pregnant, I have no idea how I would have reacted to drinking alcohol if I was pregnant, but what I do know is, that it is worrying when someone who is 7 months pregnant tells you to lay off when you query how much they are drinking, and tells you that if they drink 10 alcopops a day, that it is nobody else’s business, because it is “their” body. You do begin to wonder where the rights and wrongs of the legal status of the new baby to come really are.
Do you know how much alcohol is too much when you are pregnant?
Do you know how you would live with a child who has either foetal alcohol effect, or foetal alcohol syndrome?
Would you be able to control the situation, or would you wash your hands and walk away?
WHAT IS FOETAL ALCOHOL?
It is not just any one disorder, but it has a spectrum of degree, similar to autism, in the depth of severity. The syndrome itself will usually show facial abnormalities, failure to catch up with their peers, and mental problems with learning difficulties and impulsiveness.
The effect, is a milder form of the disease, however just as difficult to live with, and may or may not have facial deformities. It is said to be the most common reason for mental and behavioural problems with children, however, that can never be proven.
Babies with foetal alcohol can be delayed, cry excessively, have weak grasp with trouble sucking and feeding. Brain damage can even lead to epilepsy.
Approximately 70% of FAS children have very severe hyperactivity and often poor behaviour, head banging, rolling, or rocking. It is possible that they could also be diagnosed with ADHD, or Attachment Disorder, or actually a few other things – when we are really talking about foetal alcohol effect. There are so many disorders that “could” be attributed to similar symptoms.
IS YOUR BABY AT RISK?
Usually, the more alcohol that is drunk, the higher the risk of damage. What that does not take into account is the genetic, or predisposition to the possibility.
Women tend to keep prolonged alcohol use secret, and it is difficult to get help if nobody knows that someone drinks. It is hard to say if a few drinks, or a few binges will affect any one child growing in the womb.
My point is, why take the risk of learning difficulties, behavioural issues, deformities and the life struggle that it brings, when it is easy to take the possibility out of the equation by simply not drinking?
I have spent much time with foetal alcohol children. Did you know that any alcohol that is drunk, passes easily to the foetus, and every growing baby is at risk as their liver is not able to absorb the toxins.
I have not put any guidelines down, as they change frequently. The only thing that people can be sure of, is that you don’t know how much alcohol will affect any one baby. All parents of special needs children worry that it is something that they did that caused the disabilities, so why people take the risk of being able to flog themselves for life with the possibility they caused a disability is beyond me.
There is nothing anyone can do about a session of hard drinking before they know they are pregnant, but surely, once people know they are pregnant, it is silly to keep on going and taking the risk.
How many people live with the “it won’t happen to us” motto?
School Trips and Gadgets – Opinions Please??
I am all for school trips and I think they are good for children, but there are times when I wonder if schools really have lost the plot. They seem to think that pupils’ parents have a never ending pot of money to spend out.
I don’t mind the triple whammy of:
- cinema outings & shows
- museum and event trips
- sun cream
- uniform
- school shoes
- gym shoes
- gym kit
- book fairs (well I do, but that’s another story, more aimed at the people who organise and man the stalls)
- toy fairs (I might talk about that this week as well since it is relevant tomorrow)
- xmas present shelves
- xmas cards (sending a pack home your child has drawn and pretty much holding a gun to your head to buy them)
- dinner lady white tickets you have to pay for, even if you gave your child a packed lunch that day.
I can forgive almost all of those as ideas that might be appropriate, if they were dealt with slight modifications to how some of them are done at the moment.
My oldest was away with the school for 1 night in April. It cost £85 and they had to be given £15 spending money.
A couple of months later, they want another £300 for him to go for a 5 night residential sports outing. On top of that, there will be spending money and lots of other clothes etc.
I can take my whole family away in the caravan for a fortnight for that price. I have said no, that he is not going on the trip. This now makes my son the odd one out, as it seems that out of a year of 70 odd primary children, he is the only one not going. To top that off, he has also been given £5.00 to take home to start a car wash / baking initiative to help grow that fiver to take a little of the cost down for those who are going. He has been included in it, even though he is not going. He is asking the teacher if he is going to be allowed to keep anything above the £5 he earns since he is not going.
I am immensely proud of my boy for how he has taken not going away with his class. My reasons are not purely monetary, as on the last trip away for the night, they put with two boys who are much more streetwise. They proceeded to describe 18 horror films in-depth and I guess you can get the picture, along with the not doing anything your parents say as it’s “your life”. He came home after one night away and it took us all about a month to recover and reset the boundaries. I am not ready to go through that again.
Then comes the news that the kids are all going to be issued IPad 2’s next year, which all parents will have to pay for on a monthly subscription. Now understand, that all the kids have been told they are going to get these things, and nobody has asked the parents if they are willing to pay for it. I have two children at that school, so that will be about £25 – 30 month they want me to pay (and have told my kids they will get). My boys are coming home more and more excited at when it is all going to happen, and all I know is that I am going to be expected to find about £360 a year for something we hadn’t planned for.
I have decided that the ipad2 are more important long-term, given the way the school plans using them than one week of activities. I am budgeting for affording that, and our trips away which we need as a family with high needs children.
Logically I do know it is the right decision for us as a family, but why, oh why, do I feel so guilty for not letting him go on that trip?
Competition – £20 of Book Tokens from Little Monkey – Book Shop 4 Kids – Closing Date 31st May 2011
Joanna from Little Monkey – Bookshop 4 Kids asked me to take a look at her website and the books that she has for sale. As I am such an avid book reader, I couldn’t resist taking a peek at what her shop has to offer.
Little Monkey – Book Shop 4 Kids
The bookshop has a small, but comprehensive collection of books, small toys and games, and is certain to grow with time.
I found a product that one of my children would be particularly interested in. A puzzle that would fit in with his favourite toys, and certainly a puzzle that I have not come across anywhere else.
48 large pieces to create their very own brightly illustrated floor puzzle. A lovely product. I could imagine one of my boys spending hours and hours on this puzzle, as he is an avid digger fan, and it is certainly on my shopping list.
Little Monkey has also offered my blog readers the chance to win £20 of books from her bookshop. This is a lovely prize to get, and there is sure to be something on her website to suit everyone.
To enter:
- You must be following me on twitter at @scottish_mum
- You must leave a comment which will count as your entry, and also state your twitter id, or a way to contact you.
- Tweet the following “I entered @scottish_mum competition to win £20 of books from Little Monkey http://wp.me/p1aG8Y-qg “
For a second entry, make sure you are following me on Google Friend Connect
Good luck everyone. This will be a fantastic surprise for someone. The closing date is 31st May 2011.
What age is appropriate for pierced ears ?
Many of you won’t have come across this issue yet. It is one that has many parents from all walks of life debating on the rights and wrongs, or the reasons for and against.
I am against and I also have pierced ears.
So why, oh why did I agree to boyo here getting an ear pierced when he was 10 years old ?
Lets look at it this way. Boyo spends a lot of his life missing out on things that he should be able to take part in as he has a brother with a disability. He spends his life defending his brother on one hand, while also feeling resentful and upset at what he misses out on.
He really, really wanted his ear pierced, and because I say no to so many things that he asks to do, I had to think hard. I skirted around the subject for a couple of weeks, saying neither yes, or no. I exaggerated how painful it was to get done and regaled him of tales of festering, pain and misery. One day I looked at his face, animated as it was while he was asking for this one thing from me. I realised that it is not an issue at all. This was one thing that I could say yes to, and make him happy.
Some people may not like it, and I certainly don’t. It did however give him a massive boost to his confidence and his face has beamed with pride wearing his ear-ring since the day it was done. For his confidence, it was worth every second of disapproving looks that come our way. If he needs to, he can take it out for jobs and interviews as he grows older, and he may decide on his own to remove it.
He knows it will be the one ear-ring and I am not going to agree to multiple piercings. Having the ear done has certainly done away with any talk of future piercings in other bodily places.
Was it the right thing to do? Yes it was. It’s a non-issue.
A twitter pal said to me that she couldn’t argue with her daughters request for pierced ears with just the reason that mum didn”t like it. I agree with that. There are soo many other battles that need to be won in the parenting department, that are actually important.
Then it comes down to the appropriate age.
- I am glad the issue didn’t come up pre 10.
- I am glad my other two don’t want an ear pierced.
- I am glad I don’t face the girl child debate for both ears done pre-school.
I will never forget my mums words as I grew up pleading for my ears to be pierced.
“If you were meant to have holes in your body, then you’d have been born with them.”
Well lets see. If we were meant to wear make up. If we were meant to dye our hair. If we were meant to wear high heels. If we were meant to be free of underarm hair. If we were meant to have a tan. Where does it start and where does it stop?
What do you think? Where do you sit on the piercing debate?
I certainly don’t know what the “right” age to have a piercing is. I don’t think there is one.
Silent Sunday 08/05/11
Another Big Idea – Fruit and Veg – Grow Yer Ain
I really have no idea what came over me, but I have decided to have a go at growing a few bits and bobs. It all started out in Sainsburys with their little tubs for childen to grow strawberries and tomatoes. They’re cute, they’re sweet, and after a little humming and heying, I went for it. The kids were actually quite excited about it all and with serious faces, they all took their turn, and we now have some little seeds in pots waiting to grow before I put them outside.
My boys really did enjoy doing these. Putting in the little pellets, and seeing them grow to fill the pots as they added the water was surprising. I really didn’t think that they would enjoy it at their age. The sticks were duly written on with the date and the type of seed on it. I am just hoping that they are as keen to keep looking after the plants once they begin to come through.
The only problem for me is, that once I start getting into things, I tend to take them to completely over the top levels, so I have been out shopping for more. First in line was a few seeds to add to a new propagator. Sweetcorn, melon, and peas have made their way to teensy little pots that we are watering and checking by the hour for signs of growth.
Whats next for my boys and I? More plantlings, that’s for sure. We had lots of fun sorting, picking and watering the seeds. They are interested in them because they feel responsible for starting them off.
Wish us luck…….
That some of the seeds grow ……………
Quick, creamy, and packed with zing this is my kind of lunch Thanks for the easy, nourishing recipe, Scottish Mum.
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