Category: Family

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Who will take a leap of faith with me? Make a difference.

What did I learn from the conference in London for Cybermummy 2011? 

It isn’t a trick question, honestly.  I learned that I am capable of doing more.

This is not an ordinary blog post, I will save that for later.   I need to get this out, and I need to begin talks.  I am sorry for being so cryptic, but you know how the net is, and how ideas get lifted. 

I need to reach brands, and I need to have talks with people who can, and people who won’t get paid for it, and won’t mind not getting paid.

It may, or may not work, and anyone involved will be taking a huge leap of faith with me.

If it doesn’t work, I may get egg on my face and be ostracised from the blogging community for ever, but this is something I had planned locally,  that I want to amend and take further. 

But, it’s not about me.

I’m not one for being light and fluffy, although I can be as niave and inconsistent as any other sleep deranged mother.   I didn’t attend any of the money making sessions, and decided to head for the ones that would help me stay legal as an online blogger (but I did sneak in at the end of the over-running one which had successful business ladies giving a talk on how they make money from their blogs). 

I have had an idea forming for a while that I had begun to move forward with implementing locally, but hadn’t as yet rolled it out or secured any sponsors.  I know what I wanted to do, and what my end goals were, and it needs people to help get us there and take this to the next level.   My ideas are based around a concept which needs work, and shaped, and I would love to have it corrected, and challenged by someone who is more skilled than I at developing concepts.

The beauty of it is that I don’t know how it will look in the end, or if many people will support it, but with the joint networks of bloggers, the potential is phenomenal.

I missed seeing some people I wanted to talk to, and for that I am regretful, but hopefully a chat can be opened up very soon to amend that.   

A little discussion at the flower market on Sunday was the final catalyst that had me deciding to take this leap of faith, to believe in myself, and all of us, and do something about it across the UK blogging network.

The BIGGEST impression on me was made right at the beginning.  Sarah Brown affected me.  I am not going to deny that.  I had expected not to like her, but after listening to her speak, and a shy hello, I changed my opinions, and the possibilities of working with her, or someone like her for the future  began to spin in my head and make the potential of my projects wings spin even faster.

As the PM’s wife, she could have made the choice to be a well adorned, and beautifully dressed decoration to hang on the end of her husbands arms, and just be trotted out at public functions with a frozen smile on her face, and a damp platitude  on her lips.   She didn’t. She chose to act.

My blog is heading more and more down the road of serious issues, yet I also want to retain a sense of freedom, and call this blog mine.  I want to add some light and fluffy things and take advantage of the little luxuries that life has dealt me.   I will separate this project from my personal blog and twitter once an initial brainstorming session has been arranged and covered. 

This project is not FOR me, it will only be started BY me.   This will be OUR project.

I have had lots of ideas running for a long time, and I am ready to find support for them.    My blog is not suitable for that.   As I said, this project, is NOT about me.

From cybermummy11, I  took away the impression that we can pull this off together, all of us, not just those who went to cybermummy.

 Our world needs the people who go out and have fun and enjoy themselves, but it also needs ALL of us to move forward with taking some social responsibility. 

I NEED – help.

I NEED – support

WE NEED  a room where a group of bloggers  who can, and / brands / interested parties can meet, with the  travel and accommodation expenses of the attendees covered. 

WHAT IF – i’m talking about you?

WHAT IF – you want to work with  me?

WHAT IF you want to be part of us?

WHAT IF – you contact me?

WHAT IF  you take a leap of faith with me?

WHAT IF you can spare an hour a year, or a month, or a week, or a day?

WHAT IF- you volunteer ?

WHAT IF you can write press statements.

WHAT IF you can provide the space, or the sponsorship?

WHAT IF you can make a difference, and have the contacts to help make my ideas into a reality?

WHAT IF we talk?

WHAT COULD we do?

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The Lure of the BMX Bike – Peer Pressure at Work

 My eldest wanted a new bike at christmas, but it couldn’t just be any bike.  It had to be a BMX.   The reason for that was that he wanted the “cool” badge at school by having one.    He also wanted to be able to start doing stunts, and needed a bike that you can turn the handlebars right round in a 360 degree circle without any cables getting in the way.

I think it looks ridiculous to see those big lads on those teensy bikes, but that’s what he wanted, and thanks to a sale in a toy shop, that’s what he got.  He is happy as larry, and enjoys spending time with his BMX.

What it also raises is the red flag of the peer pressure and how it affects our children when they are only really very young.  Right from babies, on TV there are adverts aimed at them.  Cereals, sweets, toys from October onwards, and there seems little we can do to shield them from it. 

Even if we self consciously ban TV channels that carry the adverts, and keep them away from films and programmes that we don’t approve of – they still ARE going to find out all about them in the most gory sense of the words, and without the benefit of censoring.

School playgrounds and parks are hotbeds of gossip, slander, and peer pressure.  If you are at a non-uniform school and happen to wear the wrong trainers, the consequences can wound you past adulthood.

When my children were very young, I decided that I would not bow to peer pressure, and that my children would wear what I bought them and be done with it. 

Several years on, I am glad that there are some discount sports shops and ways to get hold of sports gear and shoes at reasonable prices, or I would struggle to meet the demands that our children place on themselves, AND have placed upon them by others.

Yes, there is the argument that there are children worse off than ours, and that ours should be grateful for what they have.   I have had a lot to do with disadvantaged children, and believe me, that argument won’t hold water with your children, or stand up when they are being made a fool of by the children who “have”.

Our children live in the socio economic circles of their peers (in most cases).   They can no more understand the difficulties surrounding children who have little, than we can understand how our great great grandmothers cleaned and cooked and provided for families of 14 children or more in two rooms.  

What we can do, is try to keep it within reason, and not try to keep up with the children who will always have everything.  Most of those children who get everything will never appreciate the value of their money, or the ability to manage a budget (you know the ones, with every new product going, and a new toy nearly every day).

I have accepted that my children can not match many of those children, but I provide for some of the things that they “need” to be accepted when it fits my budget.   The right trainers are do-able at the discount sports shops, as are some football kits.  I buy the football boots in the sales and stock up on the next sizes.   I don’t go overboard, and if my kids had their way, they would have every game console and game that is on the market (and believe me some of their friends do have that). 

There are times that we have to accept the peer pressure, and work within it to give our children the self-esteem that they need to live among their peers, but also be responsible enough not to let them be the pampered brats that grow up respecting nobody. 

It’s a fine line between showing off and being practical.  Sadly, it is the children who always end up at the end of it, suffering at either end of the scale.  The middle ground to me, has to be the right place to be.

Where do you sit in the debate?

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Vlogging – My Home from Home

I don’t think I have got the hang of this properly yet.  If someone has some tips for embedding the videos, please feel free to email me, or let me know.    The videos that come up after my one has played are not mine.  Youtube put them there.  

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I88xJjZEPbU&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

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To Bravissimo, Or Not To Bravissimo…

 

THIS IS NOT A SPONSORED POST

 What do you know about bras and Bravissimo? Do you think they are just an expensive lingerie company?

Until recently, I was blindly ignorant, and knew very little about bras.  I knew I hated all the ones I had worn over the last two decades, and I had spent a small fortune on supermarket cheap brands, and even on some not so cheap brands from some well-known department stores.

I saw bosom holders as a necessary, but evil need to hold in my growing bust.  I hated the way that I looked in clothes, and hated how I always felt like I was not properly supported.  Blindly, I still bought and then stuffed bras that were never going to be any use to me into my bottom drawer.

I did once have my bosom measured by a very efficient and knowledgeable woman at M&S, who supplied me with a bra that gave me backache.   My next attempts were to do the measure with a tape under the bosom, then add-on for the cup size.  I never, ever got that right, and every bra and brand seemed to be different.

Most of the supermarkets and shops I tried bras on seemed to either be out of stock, or they didn’t stock in my size.  For years I have been blindly wearing 40C or 38DD, or just whatever I could get my hands on.  I even stooped at times, to using bra extenders at the back to make a smaller bra feel more comfortable around my back.

When a friend mentioned Bravissimo to me, I almost snorted to myself, but she made a compelling argument.   I tried to ignore the foreboding feeling that came over me when I walked up to the shop in Aberdeen, and climbed the stairs to the secret lair.  It’s best to make an appointment, as I found out when I arrived, as it takes a little time to be fitted at Bravissimo.

I was lucky enough that there was an appointment within half an hour, and I was soon standing in the cubicle with the assistant surveying my existing excuse for a bra.   I cringed as I saw myself in the mirror, but steeled myself to having to go through the fitting process.  She took my current size as a gauge, and from there, the trying on and off of different back size and cup sized bras began.  I was surprised to find that my back size is actually a 36 / 38 E or F, depending on the chosen bra, and there were a multitude to choose from.

In the end, my favourite one was the Panache Porcelein Bra.  I ended up with it in both the Black, and Nude colours.   I love the way that the nude colours totally disappear under white t-shirts.   I instantly felt supported as soon as I put that one on.  It also has enough moulding that our female bits won’t end up on show if it gets slightly chilly.    The shape it gives me under my clothes makes me a happy girl and it seems to hide my belly, as it shapes my boobs so well.

How tight the back was for me, surprised me at first.  Realising I was wearing most of my bras too loose, then totally leaving me unsupported was a revelation.   Since wearing my Bravissimo bras, my backache has disappeared – totally.  I wish I had found out all of that earlier.   They fit you into the biggest hook of the bra, so that in natural wear and wash, if it gets slightly looser, then you can tighten it up a little.  I would also imagine that would apply for losing a little weight as well.

The assistant spent a long time going through many bras with me, and I bought 4 at the time, and have since gone back to buy 2 more of the panache porcelein ones.

 I have also bought a lovely black tankini with fabulous fold over briefs and I have my eyes on a few more items for over the summer.    I am used to buying swimsuits for either the coverage, or the length, as I have a long body.  I find most swimsuits too short, and tankinis always leave a bare midriff.  I was really pleased to find the combination of tankini and fold over briefs means that I got supported swimwear without a midriff on show.

Why am I writing a review?

I hope to help other people blindly suffering along with supermarket style bras, and who con themselves into thinking 10 cheap ones are better value than one or two good ones, but who feel too self-conscious to go for a proper fitting.

I found the staff very helpful.   The girl fitting me went out of the changing room each time I changed bra so that I didn’t feel uncomfortable.  She offered, and I appreciated that very much.  By the end of the fitting, I had forgotten to be embarrassed by my over ample assets, and settled in to the pampering of having a personal assistant to help with the shopping.  It was a luxurious and indulgent fitting, but oh so well worth it.

Yes, the bras are more expensive than I am used to paying for, but in my opinion, already, they are worth every penny for the support and shape.   They are also washing very well, and I can see these bras lasting far longer than my old ones.

ALL my old bottom drawer bras have been consigned to third world support, through the bra depositories that Bravissimo have in store.  My old bras, that have never fitted me, might come in useful for someone from another country who cannot afford any bra at all.

Even though Bravissimo advertise as for the larger figure at over a D cup, I could understand how many B to D cups buyers could actually be wearing too big back sizes with too small cup sizes.

Don’t take my word for how good they are.  Go and visit Bravissimo to see for yourself.  http://www.bravissimo.com/

 

Thank you to Bravissimo for allowing me to use their photographs for my review.

 

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Operation Overtime

It’s over.   The operation is done.  I am home, and not able to eat and drink much is doing wonders for the size of my backside (not fast enough though).   The nose op is past, and I am looking forward to being able to breathe through both nostrils properly again.    A bone spur removed, the septoplasty done, debris from past damage cleared out, and sinus flush.

I could really have been done without the surgeon coming to see me 15 minutes before the op to tell me that just under 1 in 100 of these ops go wrong, and the consequences are devastating, ie brain damage.   Now that sent me into total overdrive, my face went puce, and I could feel the flush raise to my ears.   I nearly bottled the op there and then, but I suspected the odds were not quite what they should have been.  If I had really thought the odds were 1 in 100, I would have definitely, got up, changed out of my gown and headed for the nearest door as fast as I could run.

I pretended not to hear, went down to theatre, the surgeon apologised for causing me last-minute stress, and offered me laughing gas to get the needle in the back of my hand, which I pathetically and gratefully accepted.

Home after the op on the day, I felt fine.  I watched a film, chilled out and rested.  They must have given me some gooooood pain relief.   Day 2 and I was floored.   The failure of operation germ avoidance kicked in and added a cold with sore ears to the mix of sore nose, oozing gunge, and throat and voice gone.

The headache is awful, and the hospital don’t send you home with enough saline sniff packs, syringes to do it with, or nose bandage things, as believe me, there is a LOT of gunge comes out. 

The nurse in the ward was lovely, and my kids have been strangely behaving reasonably well.  I have a purple nose, only one slightly black eye, and I think I am doing not too badly. 

Image: Michelle Meiklejohn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I would have to say though, that I once had a big open laparotomy (where they split open your belly) and that was much more pleasant in the aftermath than this is.   Off to drown headache with water and prescribed drugs.

Yours Wimpishly Pathetically
Scottish Mum

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Operation Germ Avoidance

 I had arranged a twitter  meet up with my first ever real life tweeter for last week.  When that was cancelled, I decided that avoiding all crowds between then and this coming week would be sensible.   I decided not to go to kids club, football, or any public places where breathing in germs was more likely. 

Just to make matters worse, on Friday, middle son decided to wake up with a cold.  In typical “manflu” fashion, he is walking around the house, and delving into everything and anything in his annoyance at feeling slightly out of sorts.  Trying to keep my distance from him is an operation of gargantuan proportions.   I keep asking him to sit across the room from me, but not having school (long story), he is used to being beside me all the time, and coming over to talk to me.  He has a habit of talking right up at my face.   I’m putting my hand across my face, and he thinks it’s hugely funny.

At each sneeze, I send him through to wash his hands and then chase him around the house and wipe the door handles with dettol wipes.  My paranoia has reached epic proportions and I am tempted to go out and buy one of those non-helpful face masks that cover your nose and mouth.  

 

At the supper table last night, lovely “manflu” child decided to drink out of my glass when my back was turned getting seconds for my youngest.  I felt hugely relieved, and very smug that I spotted his deadly germ spreading efforts, and didn’t then go and finish my drink while ingesting the remnants of his germ filled saliva.

Why am i in operation germ avoidance?

Well, this is my second attempt to have the surgery that has been scheduled.  I got a bad cold at the last attempt, and had to cancel the day before the op.    The op is actually no big deal.  I seemingly had a broken nose, or a big thump on it when I was young, and the damage inside my nose has meant that the nostril is closing up over time.    I also have really bad sinus problems, so while they are in repairing the damage, I will be getting a sinus flush out.

I took it in my stride when I was told I was going  to be operated on at first, and didn’t think much about it – UNTIL – the nurse told me it was a 2.5 – 3 hour operation.   For some reason, I was expecting just a quick half hour and then back out and on with my day.   I just about fell off my seat in the shock.   Having an op on your face that is going to last 2.5 – 3 hours has turned me into a quaking germ avoiding wimp. 

I’m dreading beginning the signs of cold, infection, flu, or anything else that might cancel the op this time round, as that means, they will either think that I am deliberately cancelling at short notice, and give up on me, or I have to do the lead up time all over again. 

Which is why I have to post this, as I have just finished gargling and scrubbing like mad after my lovely son decided to come right up to my face to tell me something and delivered the biggest, most snot and germ throwing sneeze you can ever imagine right into my face.  

Operation germ avoidance is a #fail.

Image: Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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School Trips and Gadgets – Opinions Please??

I am all for school trips and I think they are good for children, but there are times when I wonder if schools really have lost the plot.   They seem to think that pupils’ parents have a never ending pot of money to spend out.

I don’t mind the triple whammy of:

  1. cinema outings & shows
  2. museum and event trips
  3. sun cream
  4. uniform
  5. school shoes
  6. gym shoes
  7. gym kit
  8. book fairs (well I do, but that’s another story, more aimed at the people who organise and man the stalls)
  9. toy fairs (I might talk about that this week as well since it is relevant tomorrow)
  10. xmas present shelves
  11. xmas cards (sending a pack home your child has drawn and pretty much holding a gun to your head to buy them) 
  12. dinner lady white tickets you have to pay for, even if you gave your child a packed lunch that day.

 I can forgive almost all of those as ideas that might be appropriate, if they were dealt with slight modifications to how some of them are done at the moment.

My oldest was away with the school for 1 night in April.  It cost £85 and they had to be given £15 spending money.  

A couple of months later, they want another £300 for him to go for a 5 night residential sports outing.   On top of that, there will be spending money and lots of other clothes etc.

I can take my whole family away in the caravan for a fortnight for that price.  I have said no, that he is not going on the trip.    This now makes my son the odd one out, as it seems that out of a year of 70 odd primary children, he is the only one not going.  To top that off, he has also been given £5.00 to take home to start a car wash / baking initiative to help grow that fiver to take a little of the cost down for those who are going.  He has been included in it, even though he is not going.  He is asking the teacher if he is going to be allowed to keep anything above the £5 he earns since he is not going.

I am immensely proud of my boy for how he has taken not going away with his class.  My reasons are not purely monetary, as on the last trip away for the night, they put with two boys who are much more streetwise.   They proceeded to describe 18 horror films in-depth and I guess you can get the picture, along with the not doing anything your parents say as it’s “your life”.    He came home after one night away and it took us all about a month to recover and reset the boundaries.   I am not ready to go through that again. 

Then comes the news that the kids are all going to be issued IPad 2’s next year, which all parents will have to pay for on a monthly subscription.  Now understand, that all the kids have been told they are going to get these things, and nobody has asked the parents if they are willing to pay for it.   I have two children at that school, so that will be about £25 – 30 month they want me to pay (and have told my kids they will get).   My boys are coming home more and more excited at when it is all going to happen, and all I know is that I am going to be expected to find about £360 a year for something we hadn’t planned for.  

I have decided that the ipad2 are more important long-term, given the way the school plans using them than one week of activities.  I am budgeting for affording that, and our trips away which we need as a family with high needs children.

Logically I do know it is the right decision for us as a family, but why, oh why, do I feel so guilty for not letting him go on that trip?

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What age is appropriate for pierced ears ?

Many of you won’t have come across this issue yet.    It is one that has many parents from all walks of life debating on the rights and wrongs, or the reasons for and against.

I am against and I also have pierced ears. 

So why, oh why did I agree to boyo here getting an ear pierced when he was 10 years old ?

Lets look at it this way.  Boyo spends a lot of his life missing out on things that he should be able to take part in as he has a brother with a disability.    He spends his life defending his brother on one hand, while also feeling resentful and upset at what he misses out on.

He really, really wanted his ear pierced, and because I say no to so many things that he asks to do, I had to think hard.  I skirted around the subject for a couple of weeks, saying neither yes, or no.  I exaggerated how painful it was to get done and regaled him of tales of festering, pain and misery.   One day I looked at his face, animated as it was while he was asking for this one thing from me.  I realised that it  is not an issue at all.   This was one thing that I could say yes to, and make him happy.

Some people may not like it, and I certainly don’t.   It did however give him a massive boost to his confidence and his face has beamed with pride wearing his ear-ring since the day it was done.   For his confidence, it was worth every second of disapproving looks that come our way.  If he needs to, he can take it out for jobs and interviews as he grows older, and he may decide on his own to remove it. 

He knows it will be the one ear-ring and I am not going to agree to multiple piercings.  Having the ear done has certainly done away with any talk of future piercings in other bodily places.

Was it the right thing to do?  Yes it was.  It’s a non-issue. 

A twitter pal said to me that she couldn’t argue with her daughters request for pierced ears with just the reason that mum didn”t like it.  I agree with that.  There are soo many other battles that need to be won in the parenting department, that are actually important. 

Then it comes down to the appropriate age. 

  • I am glad the issue didn’t come up pre 10.
  • I am glad my other two don’t want an ear pierced.
  • I am glad I don’t face the girl child debate for both ears done pre-school.    

I will never forget my mums words as I grew up pleading for my ears to be pierced. 
“If you were meant to have holes in your body, then you’d have been born with them.”

Well lets see.  If we were meant to wear make up.  If we were meant to dye our hair.  If we were meant to wear high heels.  If we were meant to be free of underarm hair.  If we were meant to have a tan.   Where does it start and where does it stop?

What do you think?  Where do you sit on the piercing debate?

I certainly don’t know what the “right” age to have a piercing is.  I don’t think there is one.

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Another Big Idea – Fruit and Veg – Grow Yer Ain

I really have no idea what came over me, but I have decided to have a go at growing a few bits and bobs.   It all started out in Sainsburys with their little tubs for childen to grow strawberries and tomatoes.  They’re cute, they’re sweet, and after a little humming and heying, I went for it.   The kids were actually quite excited about it all and with serious faces, they all took their turn, and we now have some little seeds in pots waiting to grow before I put them outside.

 My boys really did enjoy doing these.  Putting in the little pellets, and seeing them grow to fill the pots as they added the water was surprising.  I really didn’t think that they would enjoy it at their age.    The sticks were duly written on with the date and the type of seed on it.  I am just hoping that they are as keen to keep looking after the plants once they begin to come through.

The only problem for me is, that once I start getting into things, I tend to take them to completely over the top levels, so I have been out shopping for more.  First in line was a few seeds to add to a new propagator.  Sweetcorn, melon, and peas have made their way to teensy little pots that we are watering and checking by the hour for signs of growth.

Whats next for my boys and I?  More plantlings, that’s for sure.  We had lots of fun sorting, picking and watering the seeds.  They are interested in them because they feel responsible for starting them off.

Wish us luck…….

That some of the seeds grow ……………