Category: Lifestyle

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What is Simple Candle Meditation?

Hope you are all well.

I do my own version of simple meditation if there are a few minutes to spare.  With the Coronavirus restrictions around, and so few opportunities to socialise or even work properly, I’ve been doing a little dabbling and learning, to help ease how I cope with the world.  With work being very different due to the restrictions, and life so altered, finding ways to push on through, is top of the priorities for many of us.  We cannot care for others, if we do not care for ourselves first.  Here in Scotland, things like facials are still banned, as we cannot remove face coverings, so my one and only little luxury to myself is not allowed to happen.

With meditation, I used to have a picture in my head of someone sat on a mat, legs in the lotus position, chanting ‘ummm,’ and arms out front, with thumb and middle finger touching and other fingers up in the air.  I find that a bit cringy, though each to their own, however, I’ve found that there’s nothing wrong with meditating by lying on the floor, waiting in the car, lying on the couch or even the bed.  We can do it anywhere we are comfortable and relaxed.

Disclaimer: Always ensure you are safe to meditate.  If you have any doubts, please contact a medical professional before trying meditation of any form.

This gorgeous wee cat could be meditating.  Don’t rule out meditation because we can’t do the lotus.

There are many different techniques to meditation, including guided and encouraging awareness, through to transcendal using our own mantra, sound, syllable or words repetitively to relax the mind.  Zen meditation is a form of Buddhist meditation and focuses on clearing the mind and many others, which also include movement, and/or prayer.  Personally, I like to chill out, relax and listen to soothing voices and focus on my breathing to help reduce stress of modern day life.  Raising challenging adopted children is fairly fraught on a day to day level, and finding a way to feel peaceful for at least a few minutes when I am stressed, helps me to concentrate and make better decisions in life.

Group meditation can be so relaxing, but isn’t the easiest thing to find at the moment with the covid restrictions, so here’s an easy one to do for yourself.

Simple Candle Meditation

Clear the Room of Negative Energy
This can be as simple as lighting your candle, or waving about a sage smudge stick, but not everyone needs to do this.  Clapping your hands before starting is enough.  If you can, reduce the lighting in the room you plan to mediate in.

Background

A little low music can help us relax when new to meditating.  Soothing and calm, with no vocals.  I have a smart speaker and tend to ask it to play a meditation mantra, which usually gives me some lovely options.

Take Your Position

Stretch your arms up high and if you can, then touch the floor.  Choose where you will sit, lie down, or use cushions to prop you in a comfortable seating position with feet on the floor.  If lying down, bend your knees to allow this and perhaps use a rolled up towel or bolster under your knees if needed.  Try and keep your spine straight while you focus on around 10-15 minutes at the beginning, to learn how to get your head into the mindset of relaxing.  I prefer to sit on the floor for this, with cushions at my back and under my knees, with a small table in front of me with my chosen candle.

We can bring in colour therapy with candle choice, for example:

  • Rainbow colours to signify hope, happiness, confidence.
  • Black to whoosh away negative energy and allow contemplation and respect.
  • White to signify new life, new beginnings.
  • Red for passion, action, love and courage.
  • Blue for healing, wisdom and strength.

Breathing

For simple unguided meditation, begin to focus on your breathing patterns, and how shallow your breaths are.  Concentrate to take slower, deeper breaths, concentrate on your breathing, breathe in and count to three, holding your breath and then slowly exhale, fully releasing that breath, pushing it out until you feel your abdomen contract.

Candle Flames

Try to have your candle at a comfortable level for your eyes to gaze into.  As you do your breathing exercises, begin to look into the flames, trying to keep your eyes on the flame at all times.

Look for:

  • Shapes of the flames as they flicker and move, dancing.
  • Look at the candle flames, think about the different colours you see.
  • Consider the thoughts come to the forefront of your mind, what are the images you see?
  • Try to let go of your problems and concentrate just on the flame.

Ground Yourself

Try to medicate for 10 minutes.  Don’t worry, as it takes a little practice to get right.   Before you are finished, it’s important to bring yourself back to reality and connecting with the physical life once again.

An easy way would be to:

  • Close your eyes.
  • Take a few deep breaths, imagining the breath travelling to the tips of your fingers and toes.
  • Raise your knees and place your feet flat on the floor, imagine them connecting with the earth, like the roots of a tree, solid, steady and secure.
  • Bring your knees towards your chest if you can, keeping your feet on the floor, and wrap your arms around your legs.  If you can’t do this, simply place your hands on your knees, feel the gentle peace surrounding you as you bring yourself slowly back to reality, imagining yourself strong, alive and aware.
  • When you’re ready, count down from 5,4,3,2,1, and open your eyes, and back to the room.
  • Take your time getting up, possibly have a pre planned glass of water for drinking before you stand up.

 

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7 Things to Consider Before Getting Your Child a Puppy

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This was my lovely dog, Holly, a gorgeous yellow lab that shared our family for 14 years.  She went blind at the age of 7, and still lived a full life with lots of exercise.  She loved swimming, and lived for her lead coming out of the cupboard.  With the long lazy shut down for so many people, attention has turned to animals, but we need to be realistic.

Most kids have dreamed of opening that gift on their birthday or Christmas morning and finding a cute puppy snuggled inside. But what many don’t consider is the years that will follow. Unfortunately, people tend to search for puppies to get for their kids around the holiday season or when a birthday is coming up, but once they face the reality of dog ownership, the dog ends up in a shelter or re-homed. If your little one has been asking you for a puppy for a while and you want to surprise her with a pet of her own, it’s important that you are clear on what dog ownership for your family will involve. Make sure that your household is the right fit for a dog. Here are some of the main things to consider before you get a dog for your kids. 

Dogs are for Life:

Thirteen years is the average lifespan for a dog, so before you get a dog for your children, it’s important to make sure that you are ready for this long, dedicated commitment. This means that you’ll need to be ready to continue loving and caring for your pet even after the cute and cuddly puppy stage is over, as they get into their energetic and boisterous teen years and then finally, the golden years of their life. When you research dog breeds, don’t just think about what each breed is like as a puppy but consider every stage of their life too. 

Finding the Right Breed of Dog:

Before you go out and choose an adorable puppy to bring home, it’s important to do some breed research and make sure that you are choosing a breed of dog that’s suitable for your family, home, and lifestyle. You don’t have to go and spend a huge ton of money on a pedigree puppy from a breeder; in fact, many crossbreed dogs can make perfect family pets as they have a lot of qualities combined from different breeds that they are mixed with. Consider the size of the dog breed; they might be small and cuddly as a puppy but they might not be ideal for you if they’re going to grow up massive and you live in a small house. And, think about how much energy the breed has and how much time you can dedicate to exercising them every day. 

Do You Have the Time?

Before you decide to bring a puppy home, be ready to sacrifice your time. Having a puppy in your home can be similar to having a small child. You will need to take the responsibility of looking after a living creature and putting their needs first. You will also need to be ready for the fact that you might need to sacrifice more time and energy into looking after your pet than you first thought or are used to, so be ready to make arrangements for them if you’re taking a family holiday, or if you and your kids are out all days at work or school and the dog will be left alone. 

Caring for a Dog:

Many parents get a dog for their children in order to teach them about responsibility, and there’s no denying that having a family dog growing up can teach kids a huge amount of things along with boosting their self-esteem and simply providing them with a friend that they’ll always be able to rely on. However, it’s important to bear in mind that as a parent, you need to be prepared to care for the dog rather than leaving it solely down to your kids. Of course, you can show your children how to feed and walk the dog and make sure that they do it daily, but ultimately it’s down to you as the adult to make sure that this gets done and that when your kids do it, they’re doing it correctly. 

Lifetime Costs:

Are you ready for the lifetime costs of looking after a pet dog? Dogs can be expensive, so make sure that you are going to have the funds available to care for them right through from puppyhood to when they are old. The expenses don’t end after you buy a puppy or pay an adoption fee to a shelter. You will need to factor in the cost of regular vet fees, plenty of food and water, a bed, collar, lead, toys, flea and worm treatments and anything else that your dog needs to make sure that they are happy and safe. On average, dog owners pay around £17,000 to care for their dog over their lifetime but this could vary depending on your dog’s breed, size, and health. 

Feeding:

Making sure that your dog has a healthy and balanced diet is just as important as eating the right foods yourself, and the food that you give your dog can have a significant impact on their health and wellbeing. It’s important to research your options to ensure that once your puppy is home, they are getting all the nutrients that they need to be a healthy and happy pooch. 

Raw feeding is an increasingly more popular option amongst dog owners since it is similar to what dogs in the past would have eaten and doesn’t contain all the fillers and junk in kibble and processed dog food. A good raw diet will include protein, vegetables, fruit, vitamins, and minerals to make sure that your dog is getting everything that they need for optimal health and energy. 

If you want to give your puppy the best start with a raw food diet, Bella and Duke have plenty of useful information that you might find helpful. Check out bellaandduke.com for pre-packaged raw food trays that are tailored to your puppy’s dietary needs based on their breed, size, age, and condition. 

Healthcare and Insurance:

Finally, there’s nothing more important than your dog’s health and happiness. So, be sure to factor in the cost of insurance and veterinary fees when getting a dog for your family. Dog insurance costs can vary depending on factors such as breed, current health condition, and any pre-existing conditions or risk factors. However, it’s important to have because if your dog falls suddenly ill or injures themselves, a good pet insurance policy will help you cover the vet costs involved in getting them back to full health. In addition, make sure that you know a good vet nearby and register your puppy with them as soon as you bring him home. 

If you’re getting a puppy, you’ll need to make an appointment for a health check and to get their initial vaccinations; don’t let your puppy go out for a walk until this is done as the risk of contracting diseases like canine parvovirus is quite high. Vaccinations will usually have already been given if you adopt a dog from a shelter, but it’s still a good idea to take them to your vet to register them, get a health check, and help them get used to the environment. 

Getting a puppy for your kids is a great idea, but before you bring your cuddly new friend home, be sure that you are ready for the commitment and work that being responsible for a dog will bring.

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A Beautiful Birthday Gift During Lockdown From Eternity Rose

I don’t know about all of you, but I’ve rarely been out of joggers for the last three weeks, which isn’t always good for the midsection and doesn’t bode well for getting my clothes fastened when the lockdown is eased.  My birthday passed recently, and since celebrations are all at home for the moment, there was no cake, which is not a bad thing when I think about my favourite jeans.  There was no flour in our shops, which also made making one a little bit on the tricky side, so I didn’t bother.  If truth be told, I was feeling a bit cheerless on the celebration front anyway.

My gift haul stuck firmly to chocolate and flowers.  ‘Hellooo, remember those jeans!!!!!!’

Seriously, every time one of my family goes out for essentials, they come back with chocolate…  For once, I’m almost at the point of never wanting to eat the stuff again.  Anyway, my cut price birthday flowers were beginning to wilt the day after I’d got them and soon ended up on the compost heap.  Disappointing to say the least, and I don’t want to fall out with the kids for the current chocolate bonanza, because at least they’re thinking about me for more than picking up dirty clothes and making endless pots of pasta..

Fast forward a day, and I had the opportunity to be gifted an item from Eternity Rose.   I was delighted, as it involved flowers and shiny things.  I don’t know why I didn’t realise at first, as I thought from the pictures, that I was looking at a flower mould which was dipped in silver, gold or platinum.  When I read further, I realised that it was far far more than I expected.

The lovely items include genuine roses, hand picked and dipped.  There are several options to choose from, including glazed roses with colourful petals, and several jewellery items, which is what I first went to look at.  From looking through the options, I realised I’d appreciate a silver item to match my lounge decor of pale grey walls, beige seats, wood floor and black units.  My lamp and clock are all silver in colour. I know, I know, I need to put some lovely photos on display.

I chose the eternity rose silver dipped real rose and silver dipped vase, and happy I did.  Delivery in the UK was swift and wrapped beautifully.

The Eternity Rose Silver Dipped Rose and Vase Set, with Window Box

  • It’s gorgeous.  It really has a high shine finish, due to the rose and vase being dipped in fine silver.  My pictures really don’t do lovely rose the justice it deserves.
  • This is a geniune, real rose, one that the Eternity Rose team has grown in their own nursery, then picked to begin a three month process of preserving, sealing, electroplating and finally the silver plating which consists of dozens of thin layers built up over the space of a few weeks.
  • My rose came in a lovely display box with a glass lid, which gives me the option to store it securely for decades and definitely a lovely gift to pass onto future generations.
  • Comes with a certificate of authenticity.
  • Fabulous option for birthdays and anniversary gifts.

Eternity Rose say

During the history of man, there has been one iconic symbol of passion, beauty and love – the rose. As silver and roses have been lovingly represented in literature and art for generations, The Eternity Rose has now artistically combined these enduring symbols into a stylish and magnificent gift that lasts forever.

The lady in your life will love to receive a stunning Eternity Rose for any occasion. Whether she is celebrating a birthday, wedding anniversary or Valentine’s Day, you can show your loved one how much you care by presenting her with this gorgeous and thoughtful token of appreciation. Mom may even love an Eternity Rose for Mother’s Day. For any lady celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary, a silver-dipped rose & vase set makes a particularly appropriate and impressive present. Any woman is sure to be amazed by such a uniquely artistic gift that is a perfect combination of floral beauty with the lavish majesty of an ornament.

There is no stronger symbol of love than the single rose blossom. The Eternity Rose’s aim is to develop this love symbol into a meaningful art piece that can be displayed in pride of place for a lifetime as an eternal testament to love.

Each rose undergoes a three-month long, 60-step process in order to produce the final product. We use our very own processes and formulae, beginning with several layers of copper to produce a texture-sensitive base layer that provides the best surface to receive the precious metal coating. After being sealed and layered with copper, we then electroplate it with nickel to give the rose’s structure the necessary integrity to withstand plating with certified silver. During each step of the process, every rose is carefully inspected to ensure that it remains flawless, and that its plating quality and form are absolutely perfect. It is only once our rigorous quality control tests have been carried out that the rose finally moves onto the silver-dipping stage, which consists of dozens of very thin layers built up over the course of several weeks. The final result is a flower with a lustrous mirror finish and a brilliant appearance that can never corrode, but will retain its stunning elegance for literally thousands of years.

Amaze the love of your life with the gift of an Eternity Rose, and give them the luxurious token of esteem they deserve.

Find Eternity Rose on Social Media below:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Pinterest

YouTube

 

 

 

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How are you all in the loo roll crisis?

I just wanted to put up a post due to all the messages, e-mails and news around the dreaded Coronavirus, or COVID-19.  I know with my teens that information can be too much, and at other times, just not enough to keep them sensible.  I’m not going to go into any depth on the things we’ve all seen a million times already, round hand washing, coughs and isolation.  We all know what’s being advised, but the messages can be conflicting too.  My special needs lad can’t process what’s going on at all, and my youngest plans on going on a session after it’s all over.  I’ve seen my shopping bills decimated as I don’t have huge groups of teen pals descending on me for food and juices, and I’m worried about finding loo roll when the time comes, like everyone else.

I’ve worked more or less alone for years now, and although I’ve closed my physical business for a few weeks, I still have so much I could be doing, that being at home more often as my husband is a serious asthmatic, doesn’t feel like a break from the daily grind.  Instead, I’ve decided to do some online courses I’ve been planning to do for ages, and never got around to.  I think being told I ‘can’t’ leave the house, would be far worse that choosing to stay at home.  It’d be a bit like me telling the teens to be home by midnight and them ignoring phone calls till 1am, by which time, I’m in a panic cloud.

What is the Scottish Mum house doing?

1 – Not Panicking Yet

At the potential scarcity of loo rolls, although I do have a sharp intake of breath as I see my regular loo roll pile diminishing.  Special needs boy seems to use a whole roll every time he goes to the loo, so might have to ration him as there’s no more to be had easily, and I can’t be bothered trailing to a dozen shops and mixing with more and more people to find them when we’re out….  They’re more precious than porcelain ornaments at the moment.

2 – Looking Out Microfibre Cloths and Face Cloths

Yup, has to be done.  I’ve got plenty old buckets in the garage that hub uses for washing or fixing the car, so if we have to go to using those as loo roll alternatives, I can stick them in bleach, like babies nappies, until they’re ready to be washed.  Don’t people ever wonder what our previous generations did in the war?  I remember the stories from my mum, so although it’d be a huge hassle, I’m happy to do what I have to, so those with hundreds of rolls, and a bedroom stacked from floor to roof, can happily wipe their behinds and spend so much money, they’ll never have to buy loo roll, ever again.

3 – Watching The News Less Often

Seriously, it’s damaging to public health.  A few days ago, I caught myself madly refreshing my sky news app, in case I missed some nugget of information that might be relevant.  Boris Johnson and his updates are enough for me now.  I know it’s serious, and I’m trying to educate my boys without terrifying them.  The young are often disinterested in anything that might not affect them much.   Kids on the whole, are insular and self serving.  We shouldn’t be shocked that older teens and young adults are still out whooping, because they either don’t care about what they see as a virus that is more dangerous to the elderly or those with underlying health problems, or can’t understand it.  Even most of their parents have never lived through a crisis.   I’ve never lived through a major crisis event.

4 – Shopping As Little As I Can

For people who are meant to be doing social distancing, the queues for shops are mental.  Seriously nuts.  There are no online shopping slots available at my usual store, for the whole time slots are open for.  No slot available for home shopping or click and collect.  How are people self isolating or with the virus meant to get their shopping when they can’t get any slots?  Today, stores seem to have added milk to their difficult to get items.  My kids may not get the food they’d prefer, but they won’t go hungry.   There is food.  Just not anything fresh at my regular store, though that might change as limits to amounts of purchases are started.   I have an online shop due, that I booked weeks ago, but doubting that much of what I ordered will actually appear.   I couldn’t get any fresh meat this week, so we have none at the moment, and there were no potatoes either.  I still have a few potatoes, but not worrying about that either.  We’ll manage with what we’ve got.  If we get ill, we’ll manage that too, somehow.  The major stockpilers must be about due to stop emptying the shelves soon.  I hope people don’t buy the mega expensively marked up necessities appearing online, as that would just enforce more panic buying, but panic does strange things to people.  I can’t blame them either.   The news isn’t helping.

 

 

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Cameras in CARE are BADLY needed.

Hi all.  Both my mum and dad passed away recently.  I’m not looking for sympathy with this post, but I do want to highlight an awareness of issues that most people simply don’t know about.

Campaign for CCTV in Care

One man, who has a relative who suffered abuse in care, has taken it further, especially for nursing/care homes, has begun a campaign to call for CCTV in care, to ensure levels of care become consistent and monitored for progress and safety.   I’ve followed his progress over the last year or two, and it deserves some awareness.

Tony Stowell and his campaign started small and has grown in popularity with celebrity backing, to try and stop abuse in care.  He campaigns for care in care/nursing homes, but it’s all the same thing, as carers recycle, going from job to job, care home to care home, house to house.  The pool just rotates, it’s easy to get a job and standards of training/personnel are often poor.

 

https://youtu.be/x0vhgJcCwzs

 

Tony was nominated for a Pride of Britain Award for his work over the last few years, and has already won a Heroes award.

Keep up with his campaign on:

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/TonyStowell3

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/supportstowell/

Why Am I Sharing This?

Mum lived with me until she passed away, and my father was in a nursing home nearly 100 miles away.  It’s been interesting navigating social work, care agencies, the NHS and their care needs.  I wouldn’t say interesting in a good way, as there have been many battles during my mothers care, for us to protect her dignity and give her person centred care.  There are some amazing carers, there really are, but there are also, what seems to be, so many very much abusive and bad/lazy ones.  Tony’s campaign, and the sheer amount of stories and experiences shared with his campaign, show that abusive care takes many forms, both physical and mental.

My mum has had carers in my house as she’s lived with me for a fairly long time now.. Our experience of those has been mixed.  There are good and bad carers, but most are just desperate to get onto the next client.

Sadly, at the beginning of problems, I only had a baby monitor type camera, that allowed viewing only, which served no use for the first complaints I made, before we ditched one agency.  After a  catastrophic stroke, she had a package of new carers coming in to help.  The training of ‘professional carers in the community,’ is inadequate.  I know because I put two people on a carer course to find out for myself.   After a fraught couple of weeks, a new carer came, who was amazing.  Absolutely fabulous, and kept the other carers in check, so life tootled along until she moved on a year later, when the quality of care dropped.

I’m not going to go into everything, but I started watching the carers, and changed the camera to one that records due to not being believed previously.  What I watched on that camera will haunt me, to see what was happening to my mum, in my own home.  Social work backed up the carers and the agency, who told us we had to back off and let the carers get on with it, and eventually the agency pulled all care.  No help at all for months, and social work believed the agency and carers.

Finally, I let a visiting OT see them.  She immediately went back and said the care was unacceptable, and as a senior OT, they believed her.  The agency did come to view the videos and took action.

Several carers told me how much they loved looking after mum, said she was a delight, and strangely one even rubbed noses with mum, saying what great friends they were.  That’s the one a coffee shop complained about, saying she ignored mum for the whole time they were there.  In essence, carers can look/sound ok to us and their employers, but behind closed doors, alone with our loved ones, the treatment can be different, and I suspect many poor carers don’t even know they are poor carers.

And yet, sadly, I have to say, that what happened to my mum, is mild in comparison to what’s happening to very many people, especially those with dementia, up and down the length and breadth of our country.  Why?  Pretty much because few people really want to know in our society.  Busy people prefer to think care is good and all abuse is visible.  They accept bruises and cuts as ‘normal,’ in an ageing population, because the alternative will affect their lives, so think care is a lovely little perfect bubble, and that care is good because the carers say it is

Remember, that many carers and care homes will argue with cameras being in place, telling us it is illegal, and it really is not.  I never had a good carer complain about the cameras, and thought it would deter poor carers. If they argue with you, they will also say that cameras take away the dignity of the person being cared for, when the truth is that a camera helps protect the dignity.  If someone is advanced enough to need extensive care, and requires total strangers stripping and washing them daily, which feels like a violation to them, their personal dignity is already gone, and the camera is only there to ensure care is done with dignity.   I would now never put a relative into a home that doesn’t allow a camera.  Of course there will be families that use cameras to make silly accusations, but that same footage will also protect those carers.

Back cameras.  We are on CCTV everywhere we go, in shops, hospitals, schools, even just walking down the street, so why not in the care workplace too?

 

 

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Are you a carer? It’s Carers Week 10th – 16th June 2019

The one thing that’s hit home very much for me recently, is just how many unofficial carers there are out in the community, doing their bit, day by day, not really realising they are actually carers.  You know the ones, the people who pop in past an elderly or disabled neighbour and bring home some shopping, put out their bins, pick up medicines from the chemist, keep an eye on who rings the doorbell, makes tea and coffee, along with sharing snippets of their own news of the day.  It’s just something some people do..

They say that if we need anything done, we should always ask the busiest person we know.  Busy people tend to prioritise,  know what’s not important, and is the one who is most likely to make the time to help out in an emergency.

I have mum at end stage dementia at home full time, paralysed and doubly incontinent, and a special needs adopted teenager that needs 24/7 support too, as well as his struggling siblings.  I also work when I can, and run the blog/s when I have time.  When dad died a few weeks ago, it was me who had to run around, organise the funeral, celebrant, flowers, driving 5 hour round trips to and from where he lived to sort out the death certificate, pay the funeral director, pick up the ashes, and then home and work almost all night seeing to mum as she’s awake till 3-4am just now, the boys, and catching up with my own sadly reduced paying work too.  It was exhausting.

My running has had to stop as I’m often up so late with mum, and I have few carers as I just don’t trust them enough.  ‘Professional care,’ for dementia, is lacking in care in the industry for end of life.  Seriously, the things I’ve seen so called professionals do……is for sharing when mum has moved on.  I’ve put on weight because I’m not running and my hobbies have had to be sacrificed to find the time for everything else.  It’s a vicious cycle that carers fall into and I’ll have to build up my running again, from the beginning, when mum is gone.  I loved it, so it’s been a huge loss of something that was so hard for me to build up.  I’m not a natural runner, so it took months of effort to be able to run.   The added weight makes me feel rubbish, so on and on it goes, in a never ending cycle of needy people needing my time.

My health has suffered too.  Less exercise means my diabetes is harder to control, and the depressing issue of added weight doesn’t help.  I never have time to see a doctor for myself, as that’s another sacrifice I’ve made over the last few years.

Do you recognise yourself with anything at all that I’ve said here?

If so, you are a carer.

This week is:

CARERS WEEK

There is a lot of information on carersweek.org

61% of carers surveyed said they had suffered ill health as a result of caring.  The sad truth is that carers often neglect themselves, because there is no other choice.

The focus this year is getting carers connected.

They recognise that caring can be hard, and affects every aspect of someones life.  Family, relationships, finances, work and health often all become difficult to negotiate.  It’s even harder that people who have never had significant caring duties, really do not understand, at all.  Even paid carers don’t understand.  They go home at nights, have days off, go on holidays, and don’t have the 24/7/365 commitment.

There are huge rewards to caring, like seeing a family member contented and emotionally supported during their difficulties, protecting them from harm, but finding the right information and help is really very difficult, and harder to access than it should be.

With up to 6.5 million estimated carers in the UK, they are not all with caring duties as extensive as mine, but they are carers none the less, and need someone to talk to.

Non carers tend not to understand, so the focus is often on connecting carers, by listening to the experiences of people who live the life.  There is also a huge difference between the carers in the community and the ones who visit care/nursing homes.  It’s not a one size fits all problem.

Being connected can mean:

  • Directly with other carers as a support.
  • Online forums and support groups.
  • Help with benefits and covering the extra costs of looking after someone who needs care.
  • Getting help with being recognised as a carer, especially for dementia, as the families looking out for elderly and infirm relatives or those with dementia, seem to be in a black hole compared to those with the more traditional medical disabilities.
  • Breaks from caring.
  • Technology to help, such as Telecare alarm systems for windows, doors, pendant alerts, fall alerts and much much more.

If you think you are a carer, even a young carer, look for any events in your area that help you become connected.  If, like me, you prefer online, find a reliable group that is responsibly run and we soon find ourselves within a larger network of people in the same situation as ourselves, to share experiences with, and often ask invaluable advice.

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6 Easy to Implement Fashion Tips for Busy Moms

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As a mom, you have a lot of responsibility. Your little ones are your life and they rely on you 24/7. Most of the time, you’re so focused on doing what’s best for them that you forget about looking after yourself. In this day and age, most moms go above and beyond trying to maintain some sort of career (either at home or in the office) as well as bringing up a family, looking after the home, etc. For a lot of ladies, to feel good you need to look good, but a busy, non-stop schedule can leave you a bit worn out. So, here are six easy to implement fashion tips for a busy mom to make you feel human once again.

Most of the time, you’re so focused on doing what’s best for them that you forget about looking after yourself. In this day and age, most moms go above and beyond trying to maintain some sort of career (either at home or in the office) as well as bringing up a family, looking after the home, etc. For a lot of ladies, to feel good you need to look good, but a busy, non-stop schedule can leave you a bit worn out. So, here are six easy to implement fashion tips for a busy mom to make you feel human once again.

As a mom, you have a lot of responsibility. Your little ones are your life and they rely on you 24/7. Most of the time, you’re so focused on doing what’s best for them that you forget about looking after yourself. In this day and age, most moms go above and beyond trying to maintain some sort of career (either at home or in the office) as well as bringing up a family, looking after the home, etc. For a lot of ladies, to feel good you need to look good, but a busy, non-stop schedule can leave you a bit worn out. So, here are six easy to implement fashion tips for a busy mom to make you feel human once again.

Tasteful Tunics

Casual wear sometimes gives the wrong impression as some people just assume it will be a shabby look and give off a sluggish appearance. But it does not have to be this way. If baggy T-shirts are your go-to piece on a casual day, change your look up by going for a tasteful tunic. Tunics can come in short or long varieties. Their lengthy shape is designed to glide over your body which is very flattering towards your figure. They can come in a wide range of lovely colors with beautifications like lace trim, ribbons and scalloping. If it’s for everyday wear, a tunic can be worn over a pair of shorts or jeans. If you want a more dressed up look, you can add a stylish pencil skirt or a pair of slacks.

Shapelier Shirtdresses

A shirtdress can get away with being both casual and smart. Whatever you use one for, they are definitely a comfortable choice. They have a simple style to them and are both easy to wear and flattering for your figure. To make them easier to clean and care for, it would be best to choose a shirtdress in a machine washable fabric such as cotton. Wearing a bright and colorful shirtdress accompanied by a pair of ballet flats can give a suitable look to go anywhere from the grocery store to a PTA meeting.

Terrific Tanks

When it begins to get warmer, many moms tend to go for the basic tank with shorts look. The novelty of tank tops can begin to wear off after a while and the same, plain look can easily become boring. To change it up, try selecting different styles such as a ruffled top or a top that has an embellished neckline for a little more panache.

Simple Shoes

Getting the right pair of shoes can be tricky as there is a fine line between comfort and scruffy. Old tennis shoes or a pair of flip flops can be an easy thing to put on when you’re in a rush and on your feet for a long time, but this doesn’t have to be the case. So, get rid of the tatty footwear and get a cute (but comfy) pair instead. You can get a wide range of high end, fashionable Balenciaga sneakers from SSENSE who have fantastic looking shoes which are suitable for anything from casual to formal wear. They have a selection of comfortable Balenciaga sneakers for morning exercise or the school run as well as a beautiful variety of heals perfect for the office or a classy night out with the girls.

Hot Hair

It is important to take care of your hair. It is something that people see every day, so it is advised to keep it fresh and fabulous. If you have any grays, go ahead and dye them away. To keep your hair looking as best as it can, it’s advised that you should dye your roots every 6-8 weeks. If you’re in a hurry in the mornings, don’t ever miss out on conditioning your hair. Either invest in a 2 in 1 product to keep your hair in good health and hydrated or wash your hair the night before. When you wake up in the morning, make sure you don’t miss out on brushing your hair. Put it up in a ponytail or twist to keep it looking neat if you don’t have time to style it. Using gel or pomade to slick it back, then adding a headband can quickly avoid a messy look. Having an easy to maintain haircut can also save a lot of time.

No Fuss Natural Makeup

It is easier than you think to be a stylish mum. Self-care is just as important as caring for your family. Don’t forget to treat yourself and don’t be afraid to try a new style because at the end of the day, you are worth it.

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7 Day Healthy Food Challenge

We’re heading to the end of January, and most of us will have let our New Year resolutions fall by the wayside already. Instead of feeling downcast and disappointed by letting good work go to waste, it can sometimes be easier to set ourselves small goals and tasks to perform, so that they are easier to stick to.

So, instead of setting a whole life goal, how about a week or a month of eating less processed food, less sugar, and more fruit and veg…. For me, I’m planning a 7 day healthy food challenge. And it is being a challenge. Over the last few months, I’ve been neck deep in caring duties and trying to earn money to pay my bills, so food and care for myself has fallen by the wayside.

This is what I plan to do:

Healthy whole foods are things like vegetables, fruits and whole grains, with proteins and fats allowed. What should be cut, is refined sugars, grains, any added sugar, preservatives and unhealthy fats. I try to cut salt out, but food just tastes so bland, so I’ll leave that challenge for another day. For now, it’s eat better, not add sugar, and be sensible.

Vegetables

We eat a lot of vegetables here anyway, but more couldn’t hurt. I wish I could like cauliflower and broccoli more, but I can’t seem to do it. I will cut the amount of white potatoes I use, and add in more sweet potatoes, and top that up with plenty soups filled with onion, carrot, tomatoes, sweetcorn, courgette, green beans and more. Vegetables are low in calories and nutritious, so we can eat more bulk, but I have to admit, I’d rather eat fruit, so eating vegetables as vegetables, rather than as soup, is a challenge for me, as vegies help reduce risk of heart disease and diabetes. f them can reduce your risk of diseases like heart disease and diabetes.

Fruit

I am usually fairly good with fruit. It is generally higher in sugar than vegetables, but compared to processed food, there is no comparison. I tend to buy fruit, wash and freeze it, so I have fruit for fruit smoothies. I’ve got out of the habit of this recently, so it will be nice to get back into it. Fruit does contain fibre, which is good for our digestion, so as I won’t be eating any refined sugar, this is one way to get a sweet treat for the 7 days.

Grains

I’m not one for Quinoa or brown rice, and I can’t tolerate oats, barley or lentils well, so my options here are quite limited. I’ll simply aim to eat less of grains like rice and pasta, although thankfully, I do like whole grain bread, which I can eat in small quantities.

Fats

Not eating processed is likely to cut out a large percentage of bad fats. I’m one of those people who would rather have a little of real butter than a bigger portion of margarine or other spreads. Fat isn’t bad for us, but too much of it can be. Fat helps keep us full and adds flavour to full. We can also get fat from foods like Avocado, Olives, Peanut Butter and much more. For cooking, I tend to go to coconut and rapeseed, avoiding the more general vegetable oils.

Protein

Like fats, protein helps keep us full, and is needed for keeping our hair and skin healthy, as well as for muscle growth and preservation. Meat and fish count, as do high protein foods like Skyr, Quark and Cheese. For the lower fat versions, Skyr and Quark are great for cooking and snacking. Vegetarians can choose options such as Tofu, beans, nuts and eggs to supplement their protein intake.

Alcohol

I don’t drink much, so this isn’t an issue for me, but moving to an alcoholic and calorie free version might help some people who like a glass of vino or a tipple.

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Fun Family Activities For Days Off In Scotland

Finding activities for your family to do on your days off can be quite difficult when you’ve lived in the same place for a while. If you live in Scotland or are planning on visiting soon, then you’ll find that there are a lot of outdoor activities that you can take part in. In this article, we are going to discuss some of the fun family activities that you can do in Scotland. Make sure to keep reading if you’d like to find out more.

(Collaborative Post)

High Ropes 

Our first activity that your kids will love is a high ropes course. You’ll find that there are plenty of high ropes courses across Scotland with most of them being hosted by Go Ape! High ropes courses will teach your kids to be brave and they’ll love the adventure of the day. There will be swings, high jumps and much more. Don’t worry about the safety aspect as they’ll be harnessed in.

Kayaking

If your family like a bit of adventure, then they’ll love going kayaking in Scotland. There are loads of lochs and bodies of water that you can do this on and you’ll have the best time doing it. If you have kids that are quite young, then you’ll find that you can actually get tandem kayaks where two people can be together. This will help you and your family get closer to nature and you’ll bond at the same time. Make sure to check out bestkayaks.reviews if you’d like to find out more about what kayak to purchase for the activity you’re going to be doing, for example fishing kayaking or sea kayaking.

Mountain Biking

Another great activity that you can enjoy on your day off with your kids is mountain biking. If your kids love cycling, then they’ll love this new take on it. There are plenty of mountains in Scotland that you can take them up and if they are too young to ride a mountain bike then you could invest in a trailer. This activity is really fun, and you’ll love getting some amazing views and taking in the fresh air. Make sure to try out mountain biking if you want to try something new.

Rock Climbing

Although you might want to get out and explore the outdoors with your family on your day off, the weather does not always permit it. The great thing about rock climbing is that you can do it both indoors and outdoors, so you won’t have to cancel your day out because of the weather. You’ll find loads of rock climbing centres in Scotland and your kids will love climbing the colourful walls while they are harnessed in. Makes sure to consider this activity for your next day off.

Final Thoughts

There are loads of different activities that you can enjoy when you take the time to do your research.  Make sure to get out and enjoy the adventure in Scotland when you have your next day off. You’ll be able to spend time with your family and enjoy yourself.

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It’s not just babies who get meningitis….. #24youhavethepower

Sponsored by Pfizer

When my boys were little, and they started running a fever, one thing always popped to the front of my mind when they got to that unresponsive state that young children can go into while they’re ill.  With a glass, I’d stand there pressing it lightly on anything that resembled a spot, yet not really knowing what I was looking for.  All I knew was that meningitis was a very dangerous thing indeed for children, and something I needed to keep an eye out for.  In this post, I’m partnering with Pfizer to spread the word about meningococcal disease.

As a young adult, I didn’t ‘get it,’ that signs of meningitis are actually far more than a purple rash that doesn’t go away when lightly pressed to glass.  I think it was when I read about Victoria Beckham being diagnosed with viral meningitis in 2000, that I really took note and started to research more.  I’d been convinced that meningitis only really affected young children, with very rare instances of adults affected.  At that point, I learned about the difference between bacterial and viral meningitis, and how bacterial meningitis is the more serious of the two.

The difference:

  • Viral Meningitis

Symptoms such as headache, feeling sick, being tired and sensitive to light.  Symptoms usually clear up within a few days.  I suspect most people with this form would think they had a very bad cold or a flu, and are unlikely to know they’ve had viral meningitis.

  • Bacterial Meningitis (e.g meningococcal disease)

Meningococcal disease is an illness caused by the bacteria, Neisseria meningitis.   Even with treatment, death can occur as quickly as 24 hours after symptoms first show, or the disease can cause long-term disabilities.

The bacteria can be spread by kissing!!!!

Busy public areas, such as schools, theatres, cinemas, music festivals as well as being close to family and friends, can spread the disease, by actions as simple as sharing a cup or coughing.

Apparently, in the UK, up to around 1 in 5 adolescents carry the bacteria that can lead to meningitis.  They can carry the disease without showing symptoms themselves, but if the infection spreads to the brain through the bloodstream, the symptoms can become apparent.  That’s an incredible statistic when you think that at school, there might be up to around 30 kids in a class, and potentially, around 6 of those carry the bacteria.  Around 1 in 5 of my friends have blonde hair, which is incredible given that we’re all over forty…..but you know what I mean.

Adolescents

My boys are all at this age now.  Teenagers embarking on the first part of their lives without their parents around at all times, keeping an eye on everything and everyone they come across.  I watch them with their friends, laughing and capering, watching movies – 20 to a bedroom, while passing round the family packs of crisps and sharing bars of chocolate and bottles of juice.  What is that with teenagers these days, where they swig from the cola bottle and pass it along to their friends!!!  I’ve seen my boys sitting at the table with friends, where they’re all eating burgers, or pasta, or whatever I’ve put on to feed the hordes of growing boys, and there’s always one or two who polish off the leftovers from their friends’ plates.

I look at that behaviour differently now, knowing that kissing, socialising in groups and sharing eating and drinking utensils can spread the disease.  I also know that telling a bunch of teenagers that they’re potentially putting themselves at risk, is as likely to change their behaviour as my chances of winning a lottery that’s rolled over for a year…

What Can We Do?

#24youhavethepower is a social media programme designed to educate us.  If you would like to find out more information about meningitis and vaccination, please visit www.24youhavethepower.co.uk

As parents, adults and adolescents, we do have the power, to learn more, to know what to look for, and how to take the best precautions we can.

Vaccinations

I believe vaccination is one of the biggest advances in medicine for our species.  It’s incredible that we can protect ourselves and our kids from some devastating diseases by little injections.  The research involved is life changing for us, and has even eradicated diseases in the UK, like smallpox and polio.  There are Meningitis vaccinations available for babies, teenagers and students too.  My boys did receive the MenACWY vaccine at school in S3, although it took a little persuasion for my middle boy to go through with it.

For me, it was worth persuading my boys to receive protection from a devastating disease, however it’s up to you, as readers to source the information, read the facts, and make your own mind up for your families.  As parents, all we can do, is make an informed judgment call.  Use this post as a means to research for yourself, talk to your GP, and make your own conclusions.

Know the Symptoms

Don’t wait until someone you know has the condition to find out more.

  • Early symptoms can be mistaken for colds or flu, such as fevers, aches and pains, feeling nauseous and vomiting, headaches and confusion.
  • More rare symptoms show up as a rash, stiff neck, aversion to bright light, and being confused.  Not everyone will have these symptoms.

If you suspect someone has meningitis, get immediate medical help, as it is vital for survival.

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The Single Use Plastic Debate – Are We Killing Our Planet?

There’s lots of news going around about single use plastic and how we need to protect the environment and our oceans.  I totally agree with that, although I doubt anything we do will counter the plastic coming into the oceans and landfill from China and India, but still, every little helps.  Are we killing our planet with laziness in the single use plastic debate?

I don’t like to see this, or far worse pictures I’ve seen in the media.

The point of this post though, is that I am struggling.  As much as I try, I forget to take reusable bags to supermarkets quite frequently, and then have to buy more, but I never throw mine away after the one use.  I used to reuse them as dog poo bags, and I often reuse them now as bags for my mums bits and bobs that need binned.

I’m old enough to remember the days when plastic packaging was non existent to very low.  My grandmother used to have a shop in the days before supermarkets kicked them all out of business, which sold all sorts from fruit and veg, to canned goods, juice, sweets in jars, cheese, meat and more.  All the packaging for people to take away was paper, and she had lots of different paper bags of different sizes and strengths.    She even had net bags made of string for potatoes.  We haven’t always had nets just for oranges, and they weren’t plastic.  Cereals were in big dispensers and dispensed into their own tubs by weight, or measured into a paper bag for people to decant into their containers at home.  The cheese was wrapped in grease proof types stuff, and in it went to a paper bag.  Sweets were weighed and measured into those crinkly bags, and if someone forgot their shopping bags, they were given a box to take their things home in.  There was almost zero waste, as boxes stock arrived in almost always ended up with customers.

We had our fizzy juice in glass bottles that were always given back for a couple of pence, and the same went for milk bottles.  No tetra packs, plastic, polystyrene or plastic in sight.  I lived this stuff.  I know how to live plastic free, yet in my home, we have plastic bottles of fizz, plastic bottles of milk, tetra packs of juice, microwaveable meals, and almost every bleeding thing seems to come in a plastic wrapper.  There’s absolutely no need in this life, ever, to use a plastic microwaveable meal tray, and yet we do use a bloody shed load of the stuff weekly.

I even eyed up my roll of cling film last week with an evil glare.  How much of that stuff does damage in a day around the world?  That’s not to mention the nappy sacks for mums pads, the pads themselves with plastic backing and the oodles of packs of wet wipes we use on a monthly basis, all going into the bin.  And that’s not to mention crisps and biscuits, just how much packaging do they take up?  I can’t even think about things like packs of tomatoes, apples, neeps, cucumbers, all wrapped so neatly in their plastic poison.  As much as possible, I try to avoid those now, but instead of paper bags to put them in, we’re offered yet another little plastic bag.

It’s all down to cost, and sadly, cost does indeed matter.  We can avoid some plastics, but I’m struggling to figure out how to get round lots of it with a disabled elder, and five others, as well as a pet to throw out rubbish for.  I’ve found biodegradable nappy sacks that don’t cost the earth, but there’s no bloody alternative for the plastic backed pads and adult nappies and their packaging that we go through so much of.  We go through so much that we even have to have an extra bin to fit it all in, and then we still have to take more to the tip ourselves as the bins get chocka.

I can’t persuade the kids at their age to avoid plastic fizz, and to be honest, I don’t want to.  I like my fizz of choice.  The soda stream alternatives are great, but too expensive and the gas isn’t the easiest to get swapped out for the canisters.  If they were available at my local shop, it would be a no brainer, but as that option isn’t available, we end up grabbing plastic bottles instead.  There seems to be no alternative to it until manufacturers make changes to how they supply, and they are always looking at the cheapest option which is single use plastic.

It’s disappointing that butchers, bakers, and fishmongers are addicted to the stuff too.  I bought burgers yesterday from a fresh meat outlet.  They were wrapped between plastic sheets, and stuffed into a plastic bag that was sealed with a plastic tape.

My grandmother would be turning in her grave.

I’ll keep cutting down where I can, as I think we all have a responsibility to try and help reduce the damage caused by our selfishness as a world population, but alas, I suspect that this is a battle we are going to lose sooner rather than later.  Our oceans seem to be broken.  Our beaches are being trashed.  We’re told our food sources are being poisoned.

As I said, every little helps.  The little I do won’t help much, but it makes me feel a tiny bit better, but also guilty that I don’t do more.  That’s a project I need to work on more.

I want to keep seeing this on beaches.  I just need to do more.

 

 

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All I Want To Do Is Sleep…..

Yes, really.  All I want to do is sleep.  This has been me for the last few weeks.  As soon as it gets dark, my brain seems to think it’s time to climb that wooden hill.  It’s not something I’ve been terribly bothered by for a long time, but one of my boys has.

From what I hear, it affects all of us at some point in our lives.  My husband is one of those who is up with the lark every morning, and while I’ve never understood how that is even remotely possible for anyone, I learned to live with my fuzzy head and setting three alarms every day to get up, and always having one at the opposite side of the room, so that I have to get up to switch it off.  If the alarm is beside my head, I have a tendency to switch it off while I’m still in snoozeland.

I wouldn’t exactly call it excessive sleep as such, as if I fall asleep during the day, I end up awake during the night, which is never good, but I am struggling with the dark o’clock heavy eyes syndrome.

What I’ve learned so far:

Potential Causes

Meds and Medical Conditions

I have an underactive thyroid and fibromyalgia, and those tablets do sometimes interact.  Taking the fibro meds at bedtime might be much more beneficial for me.  Perhaps my thyroid has gone out of sync again, but since my review isn’t due for another few months, I’ll just have to suck this one up for a while.

Not Sleeping Enough

Hmmm.  I’m not convinced by this one, but then again, my sleeping pattern is often all over the place.  I have to get up for my mum during the night, and for middler on occasion, as well as chasing down the elder teens and constant lifts home in the wee hours.  Perhaps it’s not surprising that I want to snooze in the afternoon.  I often get three hours, then up for an hour, and back to sleep again.

Hypersomnia

Related to the above, and caused by broken and irregular sleep patterns, it’s possible that it is affecting me more than I realise.   I could on many days, easily sleep for 12 hours if I were able to…..

Shifts

Well, I’m seeing a pattern here.  Not enough sleep at once, hypersomnia caused by irregular sleeping patterns, that exist for shiftworkers, and people with my patterns of sleeping.  It’s almost as if the body is trying to bank sleeping hours with the disruption in my circadian rhythm.

Food

This is a definite no brainer.  Heavy stodge, stews and large meals definitely make me want to sleep.  I’ve never understood those who can eat heavy meals and don’t feel wiped out in the afternoons because of it.

Mental Health

This isn’t me.  Not unless you count stress with a disabled adult and a teen with mental health issues in the house.   Perhaps I need a holiday….  It is a 24/7 job caring for someone who has dementia and is doubly incontinent with full body disability, as well as working on top of it, which often sees me pounding the computer keys at 2am.  I am definitely not depressed, so that rules one condition out.

Sleeping Conditions

My youngest has been told he has insomnia.  I’m not convinced.  Like me, he struggles to get to sleep, but then struggles to wake up.  I think screen time is a problem for most teenagers and if he actually went to bed and switched off his phone, I think he would be fine.  Perhaps I should listen to that as well.

Youngest did have sleep apnea where he would choke when sleeping, stop breathing a little and wake up gasping.  After many tests and different doctors, he finally got diagnosed with kissing tonsils, ie with no space either side of the throat for tonsils to slip into, his would close up and block air getting through.  With a removal of the tonsils, hey presto, his sleep apnea and constant vomiting stopped.

I definitely don’t have narcolepsy, where sufferers fall asleep at all times of the day, it’s more a heavy feeling of wanting to close my eyes and drift off pleasantly.

What Can I Do?

I can’t change some things in my life, such as looking after my mum at all hours of the day and night, and not working isn’t an option, but I do need to be more disciplined with some other things around bedtime, that are just sensible, and would perhaps help others too.

  • I don’t smoke, but if others do, they could try to reduce nicotine before bedtime.
  • Try to chill out before finishing my bedtime routine, ie switching off the TV, laying down my phone and not reading a book.
  • Try and get to bed for a set time.  I know this is almost impossible with my family and work, but it doesn’t mean I can’t at least try.
  • Avoid caffeine for the last hour before bedtime.  I am really going to struggle with this, but given that I struggle to set a regular bedtime, it’s not a surprise.
  • Get back to eating more healthily.  I’ve not been great recently, which sort of goes with the sleep issue.
  • Pinch youngests daylight lamp for evenings.  It’s got to be worth a try to stop me wanting to zzzzz.
  • Try and persuade my GP to test my thyroid levels early.  Not holding out much hope for this one, but you never know.
  • Get outside more in the winter.  I’ve been hibernating recently.  Perhaps this is bad for me…

I suspect anyone reading this is having their own sleep issue, so good luck to all, and it’s time to bring on the longer days.  I’ve had enough of winter..