While we were on holiday this year to Grannies Heilan Hame, it was obvious that lots of kids run to and from the holiday park shop, brandishing the third or fourth £5 or £10 item of the night. Wheedling loudly, some slurring parents giggle at the kids who are coshing the have-nots over the head with their new-found lighty up things.
The giggling turns to annoyance as they hand over fivers and tenners a time for their kids to pop off and visit the arcades downstairs. I usually sit as far away from them as I can, scattered among the other disbelieving parents and wonder at how they can give each child £10 – £20 and often much more to spend each and every day they are on holiday. They fritter it away in arcade machines or spend on rubbish from the holiday park shops. This year, balloon machines seemed to be the most popular toy of choice.
Given how much my kids struggle, I’m quite pleased with how they take not being so flush with money as many of the other kids. Mine usually grumble, but they live with it and accept reasonably well that their friends often have a never-ending supply of tenners in their young pockets.
I give mine £2.50 a day each to spend on what they want most days, and they are often happy enough with that. I top up for a holiday park junk purchase on the last night and they seem to accept that well and I think what I give them is a lot to give kids on holiday. One of mine gets more annoyed than the others about how much (or little as he sees it) they get, but being on holiday helps and they get on with enjoying it as best they can.
I just don’t know how some families do it. Do they just not eat at home so that their kids have what I think is a fortune a week to spend on junk? I know it’s easier with one child than with multiples, but even so, it’s still a lot of money per child.
I know that taking kids out for a day is expensive, and that even a cinema trip would set us back a small fortune even if I do take drinks and sweets with us, but I’d never do that every day. Some of my kids friends are out EVERY day of the school holidays and not to cheap or free things either.
What I can never work out is when these kids ever learn to be bored. If they don’t learn to be bored, how are they going to amuse themselves from boredom when it’s really needed? Perhaps having special needs makes it more important that kids learn to cope with being bored, but all I see is a large part of a whole new generation that may end up as whole life credit junkies.
I made sure my kids were bored for part of our holiday, and they relieved it by digging holes in the sand and watching them fill up again when the tide came in.
Lets bring on more boredom and free activities, and get our kids doing more of the 50 things for free, it’s good for them.
Some of the 50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU’RE 11 ¾ from the National Trust we did again.
5. Skim a stone.
6. Hunt for treasure on the beach.
37. Check out the crazy creatures in a rock pool
Our things.
- Digging a huge hole in the sand and letting the sea fill it in.
- Play football on the beach.
- Talk to a sheep.
I agree with all these replies. It’s so important to teach children the value of money and indeed that there’s more to life than money and “stuff”.
I’m a mum and step mum. My step children get everything they want and then some whilst with their mum. Eg. Tooth fairy came during spring break to my 7yo she left £1. When my step kids went back to their mum, the 6yo tooth fell out and tooth fairy left £5. My 7yo asked for an iPad for Christmas, I said that was far too much, only spoilt children ask for that much, my step 7yo got…an iPad! And a bike, games etc etc!! It’s a shame. The step kids can be really demanding of their mum and I feel sorry for her that she feels she needs to buy their love.
Rant over!!
xxx
A fiver for the tooth fairy would be far too much for me to swallow. Our tooth fairy was £1 and some teeth didn’t get that. A family member came round and said, oh tooth fairy, the going rate is about £2 isn’t it. I was annoyed with that as my kids instantly felt cheated. An iPad for xmas is too much for one child for me, but I’m conscious that most of my kids friends have their own ones. Paying over £400 each child for one present is way over my present budget, actually I don’t spend that per child at xmas for everything they get put together and mine are 10, 11 and 12. None of mine have an iPad to themselves as the three kids have to share one with their dad.
Hi there, I’ve just come across your blog (fellow Scottish mum here).
I have seen similar behaviour whilst on holiday, and I refuse to parent that way. I want my kids not only to learn how to amuse themselves but also to understand the value of money. Arcades and cheap plastic junk are a horrific waste of money. Once or twice a holiday it’s fine, but sometimes I think some parents use it as a way to get their children out of their hair so they can enjoy their holiday the easy way…and that’s really sad.
I agree, a lot of people seem to use it as a way to get peace upstairs in the entertainment halls. It’s such a lot of money to lose for nothing in arcades.
I’m totally with you about not throwing money at children (even supposing you have it to throw). I’m a teacher and I see kids every day whose only real concern in life is showing off their £400 iPhone or their latest designer bag. It makes me so sad that their only sense of worth comes from what they can buy or have bought for them. My son is at the beginning of what I imagine will be a long period of checking out what others have and asking if he can have the same. Usually I mediate the disappointment of a ‘no’ with ‘save up for it with your pocket money’ (which he earns through chores at 20p per job) or give him an excellent reason why he shouldn’t have whatever it is. Like you, I think it’s so important to teach children about what is really important – developing skills, love of nature, taking pleasure in growing or building things, enjoying being with the people you love. I want my son to learn that happiness is not in what you have, it’s what you do and who you’re with.
My eldests friends mostly seem to have iPhone 5’s & iPads at home to play with, and that doesn’t count the x-boxes, PSP’s, Smart TV’s and more. It’s nuts. The battle of enjoying time and doing rather than things and getting is pretty hard to do really. It’s much easier to manage on holidays than at home as everyone is restricted in what they’ve brought with them. I do the save up for it, or buy it when you’re 16, working and can afford to get it yourself. So many kids have zero outdoor skills at all. That’s quite sad really.
I’ve been pinning lots of ‘stuff to do in the summer holidays’ type lists on Pinterest this week for much the same reason. We had an Easter holiday at home, where each day was focused around fun (free) things to do, which meant we could spend quality time together – climbing at the park, popping up the indoor tent and having a reading fest inside, playing pop up pirate and keep link. Kids loved it. I’ll add ‘Talk to a Sheep’ to that summer holiday list though!
During holidays, we do a lot of the free stuff as it helps tire the kids out. Mine always want to go to the transition extreme type of cycling in the skate park thing, but they are so expensive to take 3 kids at a time to, that I have to limit their visits to things like that. It does get harder as kids get older and see other kids their age with plenty disposable cash. I’ll keep going as long as I can.
During holidays, we do a lot of the free stuff as it helps tire the kids out. Mine always want to go to the transition extreme type of cycling in the skate park thing, but they are so expensive to take 3 kids at a time to, that I have to limit their visits to things like that. It does get harder as kids get older and see other kids their age with plenty disposable cash. I’ll keep going as long as I can.
I often struggle with this situation when funds are low but during times of prosperity I refuse to join the wagon of disillusioned parents. It simply comes down to the fact that the parents suffer from low self-esteem not believing being together as a family is an entertainment in itself. You will also note these parents are buying themselves free time. This behaviour manifests in parents who are poor as well as state dependent. The vast majority of families with disposable liquid income are on some form if top up benefit and as they haven’t earns the cash of course they have little respect for it a legacy being handed down to the next generation. The thrift generation has a renewed appreciation of shabby chic and bygone days, watch out for a return of the dangerous book for boys style activities in the future as thinking parents steer young minds from the consequences of throw away entertainment.
I can see where buying themselves free time is desirable, though I wonder how their children will take that in the future. The dangerous book for boys style activities would no doubt go down well with my boys. There is a place for throwaway entertainment but I do worry about it being all the time, which is what I see so often. Thanks for the comment, it’s much appreciated.
Missed all those typos! I’m purchasing a family English heritage pass £80. A season of family sailing and water sports at a local man made lake £80, we’ve also become Scout Volunteers at a rural club (they revoke protocol and take us all on camp) free, and sea cadet volunteers, free. My advice is to get off the mainstream parade and get back to basics because it’s a choice that will develop a rich sense of achievements in your family life.
Missed all those typos! I’m purchasing a family English heritage pass £80. A season of family sailing and water sports at a local man made lake £80, we’ve also become Scout Volunteers at a rural club (they revoke protocol and take us all on camp) free, and sea cadet volunteers, free. My advice is to get off the mainstream parade and get back to basics because it’s a choice that will develop a rich sense of achievements in your family life.