Month: April 2011

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ADHD Mythological Pathways

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After seeing a few tweets and posts surrounding ADHD and the stereotypical way they have been described, I feel compelled to “right” what I see as a wrong.

ADHD is a condition that affects the brain. There is a chemical called dopamine in the brain. In ADHD children, that chemical is lacking or low. It causes the brain to misread signals and signs, and makes it difficult for children to calm their brains long enough to take in much of what is going on around them.

It also leads to increased frustration as many of the children who suffer are normal or high intelligence, but simply can’t focus long enough on something to be able to fully grasp the correct meaning.

Loud noises can irritate and distract them, to such a level that they are in pain. Their brains can often suffer with short term memory loss, but once something has passed into the long term memory, it is usually there to stay.

Children with ADHD on its own tend to be socially excluded on many levels. They can make inappropriate responses as their brain is just getting to the answer of the first question someone asked, when the asker is now on Q3.

They often lack the ability to think before they speak or act.

Women could relate more if they could imagine their hormones all out of whack – all the time, and multiply that effect many times.

Far too often, I see, hear, or read about people who think it is an excuse for bad behaviour.

They often also seem to think that Ritalin is a drug that calms down bad behaviour.

Those of you who have read this far are either interested, or keen to find out more. Well done for wanting to understand of a condition that is hyped out for the wrong reasons.

To finish, I am going to take the Ritalin debate. People who don’t know, seem to think it is prescribed to “calm down” badly behaved children.

That is completely the wrong impression. For ADHD children (and adults) and with other disabilities with similar brain issues, the medicine replaces the dopamine that is missing in the brain, and appears to calm children down. It doesn’t. What it does, is like insulin to a diabetic and replaces what the body is missing so that you see them on the same level as their non ADHD peers.

Give Ritalin to a child who is not ADHD,  and with a normal dopamine level, and it will actually make that child hyperactive – the drug would be adding extra to their normal level of dopamine. Think giving a normal child massive levels of sugar.

If you give an ADHD child too much Ritalin, then it will also hype them out. It can be a case of trial and error to hit on the right dose, as each child who suffers can have a different level of dopamine missing.

I hope I have done my bit to dispel some of the myths running around about ADHD, and if you have any questions, feel free to get in touch. People using ADHD as an excuse to run a child down should think about how much damage that does to real families coping with a real medical issue.

So there you have it.

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Eating Out – Childrens’ Portions

I am guessing that you are all sitting waiting for some huge revelation into the type of food (or packet gunk) that they might be serving up, but no, that is not what has me champing at the bit when we eat out.

Picture this

Small fingers, trying to manipulate knives and forks that are not fully compatible with the small hands that are trying to hold them the same way that mum and dad do. 

The plate is small, and the food is tightly packed onto the plate.  With no room for manoeuvre, the food spins out of control, whirrs off the plate and invariably ends up on someones’ clothes.

How difficult is it to give a young child a plate that is big enough for them to use their cutlery.

I’d love to tell the PR and media types who deal with restaurant chains, hotel kitchen outlets and supermarket food courts that they are not fooling anyone into thinking there is more on the plate, simply because it is miniature sized.

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Potty Training – What do I wish I had known?

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How many parents have read Gina Ford, or other parenting bibles, and instantly felt their hearts sinking in despair at what an awful mother / father they are? 

Looking back on it, what do I wish I had known about potty training??    NADA, NOWT, NOTHING    I wish I had never bought a parenting book.  I wish I had never listened to all the “I potty trained my daughter at 9 months, look how clever we are na na na na na brigade, as they look down their expensively designed sunglasses, and flutter their pretend real lashes.” 

What do the “experts” know about baby development anyway?     

The majority of the ones who tried to give me advice on my children were childless, or had children without special needs, and their experience was theoretical, or  based on their babysitting skills with relatives and friends children.   I really didn’t know ANY other mums back then. 

I look back and wonder why I listened to “the experts”.  I wonder why I felt so inadequate when I couldn’t get my children to fit into these moulds that society was telling me that they should have slotted into.    I couldn’t understand why my round pegs didn’t fit into the neat square boxes that made up the whole of the “right” way to parent a child, and ensure they were raised to be happy and healthy.

My biggest bugbear was the toilet training lark.  No1 was a blur.   He was potty training while I was learning to juggle two others in nappies and he had to come off them for my sanity.  I have no idea how long it took to do, and that was pre parental bible bowing and scraping, but I don’t remember it being that long.

Being a challenge to change nappies so often, I bought several parental tomes.  I decided to take their advice and I began potty training N02 when he turned 18 months.   Much ado with praise, bribery, silly high pitched voices,  mucho clapping and clever boying.     

 I would sit No2 on the potty, and try to change the nappy of No3.  Before I knew it, No2 would be running along the corridor, weeing on the way.  No3 would then giggle and whip off his happy to join in.  I’d catch No2 and sit him back down, he would then get back up, put him back, up he got.  Yo-yo city.  It was the single most stressful thing I remember as a parent.   To all of you who potty trained in a few weeks, and think you have been dealt a hard blow, get over yourselves – it is your child who was ready. 

No3 I was fit for.  I couldn’t face the potty training so “drum roll please,”  I just didn’t bother, AT ALL   I put it off, and off, and off, and off.   It was getting dangerously close to the time when he should have been starting nursery, and I was beginning to get to the slightly panicky stage that he might not get to go, but I needn’t have worried. 

At the age of nearly 3, he duly saw a friends child go to the toilet, and he decided he would never wear a nappy again.   He didn’t use a potty, and went straight to a toilet.  It was so easy, I could write a book on potty training. 

What do I say to the rule books?  

GO AWAY

You’re a waste of time and money, and people could be playing with their children rather than reading up on whether they might or might not be doing things the “right” way.

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Children and Animals can Die in Vans and Cars

It’s got to the time of year again when I find myself struggling with a small proportion of my fellow humans as I go out and about. It stresses me to the point of irrationality, and really gets my back up.

When it starts to get warmer outside and out pops Mr Sunlight, the animals that have spent the winter hibernating at their pathetically selfish and lazy owners request begin to appear again.

That aside, some of these fair weather dog walkers seem to think it’s ok to take their beloved to the supermarket, or the library, or the local MacDonalds, or the pub, or their work, and leave them there. They think that it’s ok to leave a window open an inch or two and that their faithful canine friends will be ok. On some occasions, they may be.

Is it worth the risk?

It only takes 20 minutes for a child or a dog to die a horrendous death in a hot car. And it doesn’t have to be blistering hot outside for the inside of a car to literally boil them to death from the inside out. Is that the kind of death you want for your child or your best friend.

Every year I come across self-centred, egotistical it won’t happen to me types, who think it is ok in hot weather to leave their dogs. Each time I feel compelled to stay and make sure the dog is ok. If you are one of the several I have called the authorities over, then that is just tough. I’d rather you hated me for reporting you, than risk the life of a dog that I could have saved from an awful death.

A woman at one of the local shops last week left her baby in a car with the engine running, and her handbag on the front seat and was happily queuing inside the shop for more than ten minutes. She got angry when she was challenged about how dangerous that was for the heat, and for the possibility of theft.

My children have had the SSPCA at school. They have been made aware of the dangers of animals and children in hot cars. Seeing a dog left while their owners totter off upsets them. It upsets me.

Don’t risk it.

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Tomorrow

This is an easy gallery posting for me to write about.  I have not joined the gallery before, so this is a new one for me.  I am writing this, and keeping it as short as I can.

It has the ability to end up as a rant, but I really want it to act as an education.

On twitter today, I had a discussion with a few people who had differing views on spelling and grammatical errors.   It was a pleasant chat and we discussed some opinions on this.  I hope this post is taken in the same vein.

I have come across the spelling / grammer issues many times, and without being dictatorial about it, The Gallery gives this the perfect platform.  I waded in with both feet on twitter as it is a theme that I have been aware of a lot more recently.

More and more tweets flash past in my timeline, and they are complaining about  spelling and grammar.  I am doing my little bit to stop that going any further than it already has as social media houses a very large proportion of fanatical readers and writers (myself included).  It took me a long time to learn what I am going to say, and I wish I had realised it earlier in my life.  It really did take having special needs children for this to sink in.

Lets just stop and think for a moment.

  • What if your opinion today is that people with bad spelling and grammatical errors are lazy, or just can’t be bothered?
  • What if you are offended by those people who get their words mixed up and use them in the wrong context?
  • How do you react when people whose commas, full stops, and question marks are in the wrong place?

Lets look at this from a different angle.

  • What if you came from an abusive background and you had little schooling.  You struggled to read and write, and  you couldn’t attend classes as you have three young children to look after.  There is no-one to help you with childcare, and social media is your sole way of communicating and talking to other adults?
  • What if you have grown up with a learning difficulty, but you have fought to be able to learn to communicate, and your brain won’t always let you remember the correct order, work formation and structure to sentences.
  • What if you had an aptitude so fantastic that you could receive a Nobel Peace Prize for the value of your work in Mathematics, but you just couldn’t grasp the reasoning behind why some words mean completely different things in different sentences.
  • What if you have a brilliant business brain, and people better than you at english do your promotional literature, but you want to meet your public through social media.  Would you prefer they saw you, or someone pretending to be you because their spelling is better.
  • Imagine you are a small business start up who can’t afford to employ someone to do your social media for you.  How are you going to connect with people if you can’t enter the modern age because people will judge your business by how well you can write?

If a company has promotional material to make themselves look professional, then they pay for that to be error free.  Large companies can afford to have eloquent people run their social media for them.

Perhaps the person at the other end of the spelling mistakes is ill.  Perhaps they could be the best friend that you ever made.  Perhaps you need some help and they are the one that steps up to the plate for you.

All I have to say to those who struggle to accept people who do not manage to meet your own standards of writing in the English language is:

Tomorrow – “Step away from the dictionary.”

ps I have not spell checked this post.

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Fridge Contents

Thanks to @melaina25 for tagging me.    I am loving rooting through other peoples fridges. 

Looking at the contents of my fridge is just that little bit scary at the moment.    Oh yes, we have 6 people who live here (does that excuse it?).

OK, listing the contents really scares me.  Here goes:

In the fridge Door

2 x 4 pints semi skimmed milk, carton pure orange juice, bottle of pear sparkling juice, carton tesco long life double cream, 2 x cartons lactose free milk, bottle calpol, bottle chesty cough medicine, bottle of Benadryl, Tesco lighter than light mayonnaise and eggs.

In the main body of the fridge
Elmlee cream, Hellmans mayonnaise, Very lazy caremalised red onions, garlic puree, carton tomato passata, sachet black bean sauce, carton lactose free milk, jar beetroot, Aero Bubble Deserts (sorry @kateab), 3 x packs lactose free cheese, cheese slices, mild cheddar cheese,  cheese strings, pack puff pastry, kids smarties chocolate egg (honestly), cherry tomatoes, strawberries, wafer thin chicken, wafer thin ham, coleslaw, yoghurts, 4 packs tesco brussels light pate, 3 x dairy lee cheese spread tubs, lurpack butter, beef dripping, sausage rolls, pork pies, sticky barbeque ribs, mini savoury eggs, orange capri suns, remains of yesterdays sausage casserole, bottle of water, tub of cauliflower and irish cheddar soup, stork and tesco soft spread for baking, 30 eggs, 2 x soda stream bottles chilling, beef tomatoes, 2 x melons and a few apples.

I am tagging @stephc007 @plasticrosaries @mrs_moog @mummylion

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I’ve Been Tagged – Find Out More About Me…

I thought I had missed the mass tagging, although I had quite enjoyed reading some.

The Q&A tag came from @nickie72 and her blog Typecast 

It started one day when Mrs Lister,  set out to find out about her fellow bloggers, using the same format as is used in the Guardian Q&A when they interview celebs.

You want to know more about me – here goes……
———————————–

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My mum.  She battled cancer, thyroid disease, Type 1 Diabetes, Arthritis and much much more –  and still comes up smiling at 76.
When were you happiest?
When I was a student.  I remember the dreams, the goals, the excitement, the socialising, the life.   Ahhh, memories !!!!!!!
What was your most embarrassing moment?
When I was in the chemist with my three kids, a dad was there with his two kids.  At the counter, was a woman asking for eye drops.  The chemist proceeds to tell her that it is very infectious.  The dad standing with his kids takes a step backwards and opens his eyes wide.  I look over at him and laugh at the reaction, but unfortunately catch his eye.  He shrinks back even more in horror, and I realise that instead of realising I was laughing at his horror of “very infectious”, he thinks I am flirting with him.   I am mortified in the way that only women over 40 can be as he is obviously offended by it.
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
Probably our home from home on four wheels.  I do love the peg.
What is your most treasured possession?
I have my grandmothers engagement ring, and my mothers photographs..  I love those.
Where would you like to live?
Somewhere warmer than Scotland.  Anywhere would do.
What’s your favourite smell?
My kids after a bath.  Next would be fresh strawberries and ground coffee.
Who would play you in the film of your life?
Isla Fischer
What is your favourite book?
I have dozens of favourites.   It is soo hard to choose for this one.  I loved the Master and Commander film and the whole series of books by Patrick O’Brien about life on the ocean waves.  I read them ALL.  I bet that surprised you all.  Next would be the Hornblower novels.
What is your most unappealing habit?
Eating too much and tweeting.
What would be your fancy dress costume of choice?
I have a maids outfit that I put together with some old clothes and the underskirt of my wedding dress.  It does a treat, and has been borrowed several times by other people.
What is your earliest memory?
My earliest memory sadly is one of being sent to my room for going to the local shop and saying I wanted an ice lolly and that my mother would pay for it later.  All my friends had money for one, and we were skint.  I got home with it, caught by mother and was sent to my bed with ice lolly in hand and had to eat it or it would have  melted across the floor.   I wish it was a nice one, but there you to.  I very rarely got into trouble, so that was obviously a biggie for me.
What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Writing drivel that I hope some people might like.
What do you owe your parents?
To my father, thank you for the sperm donation.  To my mother, thank you for everything else.  You rock.
To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my grandparents for not spending enough time with them when they were alive.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My kids and my animals.
What does love feel like?
Responsibility, guilt, wishes, protection, care and time.
What was the best kiss of your life?
My first kiss, in my classroom aged 5.  I still remember feeling his lips on my cheek lol.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Stop fighting – 3 boys *saynomore*
That’ll be shining bright – whenever any of my brood tells me a porkie.
Okay dokey – though I am working hard on phasing this one out.
What is the worst job you’ve done?
Night shift at photo factory, while working day shift in bookies when I was at college.  I was perma exhausted, and it was soo boring that I could hardly keep my eyes open.  Many people would have ended up with negatives cut halfway across the picture frame as I was too tired to stop the cutters in time when it misaligned.  If that was your treasured photos *sorry*.
If you could edit your past, what would you change?
The age I had kids.  But then I wouldn’t have the ones I have, so moot point.
What is the closest you’ve come to death?
I once spun off a road in my car, ended upside down in a field with a post skewering the passenger seat.  Luckily I didn’t have a passenger, and I walked away with only the dunt from undoing my seatbelt when I was upside down and not realising.
Another time, helicopter I was travelling in lost power miles from anywhere in middle of north sea in choppy weather – we dropped from the air and  it was a frightening few seconds before the  pilot restarted the engines again.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being a mum.  It was a hard road.
When did you last cry, and why?
After an operation.    It hurt.
How do you relax?
Twitter, walking the dog, writing, reading.
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Not being a food addict.
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
I was exceptionally lucky to be born in a developed country with a caring  mother.
I am tagging
@netcurtains who likes a meme
@123andbreathe because she wants to
@meetjosmith for being a good sport and
@the_moiderer  for living within an hours drive
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Competition Blue Hauck Disney Pooh Melon Pushchair – Ends 30th April

Competition time again. 

This is not a sponsored competition.  I asked on twitter if I should put this on for a giveaway and the resounding answer was yes.  I’d rather it went to someone who will appreciate it, rather than someone who wants it for nothing on ebay.   It is still boxed, and sealed.   It is exactly like the one in the picture. 

  • It is worth £60 + postage.   It comes with a play tray and a raincover and a little winnie the pooh clips onto the hood.
  • Useable from 3 months +
  • Small compact design and lightweight with lockable swivel from wheels
  • 5 point safety harness.
  • Height adjustable handles
  • Hood and bumper can be taken off
  • Big shopping basket

To qualify for the competition / giveaway, you will be required to do the following:

1 – Leave a comment below, telling me that you want to enter,  follow me on twitter @scottish_mum and Tweet this. 

“I entered to win a pushchair with @scottish_mum.  Enter at ”

2 – For an extra entry.  Friend me on Google connect (on the blog front page), and like my page on facebook.   If you have already done these things, then it is an easy entry.  !/pages/Scottish-Mum/165660773455038 

I allocate each qualifying entrant a number, based on how many entries they have, and then draw at the random number website to make it fair.  Good luck to everyone who enters.

If you are new to my blog, your first comment will need to be approved before it shows up. 

This competition comes to you from Scottish Mum and has no connection with the product manufacturers.   By entering, you are agreeing that Scottish Mum Blog, or anyone connected with it, are not responsible in any way for the use of the product, and you use it at your own risk.