At first, I threatened to cancel the whole of Christmas and postpone it for a while, but I didn’t think our lovely KellyBronze Turkey would stand to wait for another few days, so we went ahead and had our meal. We did NOT have any presents for the kids to go down to on Christmas morning.
I have to admit to feeling a bit sorry for myself on Christmas Eve when there was no sign of any excitement from the kids. As old as they are getting, they still usually track Santa through Norad, and get all excited when he gets to the UK.
This year, nothing.
Two watched a bit of TV, were really quiet and withdrawn, and went off to bed with the secret hope that perhaps mum is wrong and Santa would come in the morning.
Littlest one almost swallowed these words.
“Not giving kids Christmas presents is child abuse.”
I nearly gave in, but I knew I couldn’t.
I did let them have 1 present on Christmas day after their meal.
My kids behaviour has deteriorated to the point that I was not prepared to have them get anything without earning it first. Yes, there are special needs in the family and yes, it is tough to live with someone who has his level of brain damage and immaturity, but they do have to live in society. Kicking and punching me or my mum just doesn’t make me feel like being Santa.
The man went out on the Thursday night before Xmas and things escalated from the moment he left. I announced that Christmas was cancelled in frustration and from then on I knew I would have to carry it through. If I hadn’t gone through with it, the next time I said there was to be a sanction, they’d laugh in my face.
HOW DID IT GO?
We’re 3 days past Christmas now.
Two children have now had their big presents and one child has only had two cheapie presents as he hasn’t earned anything of value yet. Most of his are still in a sack in the cupboard and I doubt he will ever make his big present this year. It may never go his way. He has targets to meet to get it and I am being really strict with it. I value my limbs not being attacked, and the price of his Christmas presents is directly linked to how unharmed my body is.
He has to make a week without either kicking and punching me or my mum – or even trying to. After yesterday, we’re back to Day 1 today. He goes to respite tomorrow over New Year and Day 2 will start on the day he gets home.
For the other two kids, it’s been quite good. Instead of an hour of excited madness and then stuffing their faces and not knowing what to play with first, there has been a steady small stream of excitement each day as they learn they’ve behaved enough to get another present from me. They’ve had days of something to look forward to, instead of one overwhelming day.
How I’ll play it next year, I’m not sure. If we are at the same point, the same thing will happen. Eldest had his big present for two days and it was confiscated when he threw a strop for nothing more than being asked to do something for me. I used to just put all presents out on the chairs, with no differential between Santa and parents. This year has seen a massive shift in how it’s done.
Their cousin who is just 6 was absolutely horrified at Santa not stopping by our house. Eldest sat at his window all night on Xmas Eve to see if he could see Santa dropping off presents to the other kids in our street. He’s convinced that he saw him fly by as he saw an orange light in the sky.
He fell asleep with his head on the window sill.
It’s been a more pleasant few days than usual, despite yesterdays aggression from middler, and we’re all looking forward to a break for him in respite and us at home.
Bring on Hogmanay.